anyone else fearing labour the second time around?

[spritesoright]

I am only 20 weeks pregnant but I watched a midwife show last night and it dredged up all the painful memories of my first labour with DD.

I couldn't believe how judgey both the midwives and the narrator (but mostly the narrator were) about pain relief and they seemed to be promoting this idea that if only women weren't such hypochondriac wimps we would be able to give birth pain relief-free.

Mostly I am upset because I really wanted my first labour to be as intervention-free as possible but felt that circumstances and the decisions of my consultants contrived to make that impossible.

I was not allowed to give birth in the birth centre, or in a pool, was hooked up to monitors relatively quickly and then dosed with syntocin when they didn't think labour was progressing quickly enough.

Suddenly my contractions went from manageable to horrendous and with no pause and I chose to have an epidural, which ended in a stuck baby and delivery with forceps and episiotomy in the operating theatre.

This was not at all how I'd imagined it.

The programme seemed to be suggesting that it was women's own fault who end up with interventions if they choose to have an epidural.
I am currently feeling very defensive and protective of my second labour, maybe even considering a home birth as I don't want the doctors interfering again.

I know I need to get over this fear before the second baby comes around but watching the show just stirred up all the emotions. My midwives were brilliant but ultimately it was the consultants and doctors who made all the decisions in the end.

Anyone else feeling worried about their second labour?

Yes, I worry.
DD was born early so I idn't get to go to the Midwife Centre I wanted to, or in a pool. I feel I was bullied into consenting to forceps and Episiotomy. The stitches all unravelled and took months to heal (6 months lated I needed an operation to sort out the scar tissue).

I know I'd be able to be more assertive this time, but I'm a littled worried.

Sorry you had such a rubbish first birth.

I'm not looking forward to the birth second time round but I am not dreading it either. I didn't see the program but hate it when midwives sound judgey, giving birth really hurts and it is a complete shock to suddenly find yourself in agony.

Thanks for your experiences. Yours doesn't sound great either YBR. I found dealing with the after-effects of an episiotomy really difficult as well and hadn't anticipated how painful it would be (although luckily mine healed quite quickly).
The only thought keeping me hopeful is that second labours in general seem to be a bit easier (or quicker at least) so maybe it won't be as bad.
From the time my waters broke last time to the point where I actually gave birth was 72 hours last time and I was so exhausted at that point as I hadn't been able to sleep with contractions.

I know everyone is different but my labours for 1 and 2 were so different. No 1 I had synto to augment my labour as my progress was too slow and it was exactly as you described. I was trying to discuss epidural when I started pushing, and was very lucky I needed no assistance, although had 2nd degree tear. It felt a bit traumatic even though I felt lucky it was ok in the nd and no real complications.

No 2 was a breeze in comparison, it felt much more manageable, baby was much better positioned, labour was quicker. I felt much calmer (things felt so much better I didn't even use gas and air - in no was a stealth boast, just want to explain how totally different it was).

I think so much is down to luck of what baby is doing, if you feel happy / relaxed in your surroundings etc etc. but just wanted you to know how different no 2 can be, hope this reassures and means you worry a little less during the rest of your pregnancy. Lots of people I know have had much easier labours with no 2 aswell, not just me.

I am expecting no 3 and m still bricking it about labour so maybe it is just a pregnancy thing as labour is so bloody unpredictable!

I'm worried too, not about the pain of labour itself but the aftermath. With my son, I stuck to my plan of no pain relief and he came out fine, I was happy and everything was great then it all just went crazy, I had a retained placenta and then after giving it a little time and another injection to make it come out I started to hemorrhage really badly, had to quickly sign my life away to consent to the emergency surgery and I was whisked off listening to the masses of staff that appeared about how I was losing too much blood, we're going to lose her! Just do a full hysterectomy! I was bloody terrified then almost 4 hours later, not fully aware of much I was finally reunited with my hubby, frantic mother and beautiful newborn son that I finally got to hold!
I am crapping myself that I will have a repeat of this and as my consultant says we won't know until delivery I have no reassurance. I would happily give birth, no pain relief 10 times in a row than that happen again!
I think everyone must have a slight wobble about going through labour again regardless of a previous good or bad experience, I would just think that's normal!

Yes! Not looking forward to it at all! Of course excited to meet baby :) but dreading second birth. First birth Chelsea Westminster was full, my labour progressed nice and fast - in the triage!!! I was in full active labour while other women sat around hearing all my screams of pain (poor women must have been scared!). I didn't get my own room until I was 8cm! I'm hoping this time I get my own room at 4cm!

Trujay that sounds awful! Poor you and your waiting family. Mama bear that is shocking on the part of the hospital, can you laugh now about the situation in any way?
Whoop thanks very much for your reassurance and kind words. I think I had tried to block out the memories but they all came back with that show.