3 Babies or stop at 2?????

[gemmz]

Hi,
I have 2 gorgeous children, ds 3.1 and dd 1.9, and dont know wheter to have another or not.
Im only 25 so know I have plenty of time but if we do decide to have another i want them all to be fairly close and get all the nappies etc out the way together!
I was pregnant last months but sadly miscarried really early.
I was very very happy and excited to be pregnant. Then when it was gone I thought maybe we should just stop at 2, as my son is starting nursery in september and daughter starting play group so I was thinking of getting a job or doing something.
I dont know if i actually want a baby or i just love babies so much and am permantly broody, my riend has just and a baby and my sister and sil are both pregnant, maybe im just hormonal from the mc still.
Has anyone else felt like this and what did they do? have another or stop!

you're only 25! give it a few years!

no answers for you but personally I decided on another. I have a 2.8yr old DS and 6mth old DD and am currently 11wks pg. I wanted all my kids close together etc and also know when I have had mcs I always thought I wouldnt try again but within 3 mths I have done.

also agree you are only 25 [i am nearly 29] and if you havent had a chance to work etc you may want to try it now? AS I say its all personal choice.

yes i know im only 25 and theres plenty of time but if i dont have another soon i dont think we will at all because we want them close together.

it's your life, gemmz.

maybe sit down and make a list of pros and cons w/your partner.

I did work straight from school up until maternity leave with my son.
I dont mean I want another baby so i dont have to get a job if thats the way ive made it sound.
My partner works full time and I do have a little weekend job currently.

gemmz thats not what I meant hun not saying you sont want to work. More saying maybe going out to work may make you crave more independence and help with the decision. AS I said I cant talk as my 3 will be very close in age have done this so I can be Sahm and then return when they are all in school.

gemma, i am 24 and (sort of) in the same situation. I havea 3 yo DS and a 14 mo DS. we always said that we would have another but in about 8/10 years. We were pregnant again a few weeks ago but unfortunatly lost it and now we are talking of having our 3rd sooner rather than later.

I was lucky tho in that i did everything that i wanted to do with my life career wsie (i was a dancer) before i had any children.

gemmz, sorry to hear about your loss.

I think expat is right, you and your dp need to make a list of pros and cons. Or maybe wait until Christmas when your children have settled at playgroup and nursery and see how you feel then? You may enjoy the freedom more than you realise - or feel even more broody!

We already have 2 children, and weren't 100% certain about no3. I had two very early mc last year. Each time I fell pg we said "Right, this is it, if anything happens we won't try again, we'll know that 2 is the right number for us." And, lo and behold, each time we lost the pg we both decided that we really really wanted no3. Somehow it was the loss that convinced us.

Blimey i could have written what you have you sound exactly like me but i am 24, i have a ds who is 3.9 & a dd who is 5 months, i worked since leaving school up until i went on to maternity leave with ds, i really don't know if i just love having babies,children or if i don't feel my family is complete as yet,i adore my kids & loving being with them BUT yes at times i do find it a struggle & always wonder how i would cope with 3.

Ds is starting school next year my baby is growing up to fast!

We are moving in august so i will see how i feel after that, i also have PND at the moment but i don't think that would stop me.

I say do what feels best for you & your family, do you feel complete as a family?

Well I'm 30 and on the verge of having number 4, large families aren't as much hard work as people make out. My children are quite close together and spend hours playing together and are the best of friends.
I think you have to look at the finances too and decide if you can give a good quality of life to all three children and if so go for it, you'll never regret having a baby.

I'm 28 and have a 6 yr old , a 15 month old and I'm 8 wks pregnant with no.3

so sorry to hear about your loss

I think that if you were really happy to be pg before then maybe you really do want another

I've got three,12,6 and 2,would have liked them all close together but I didn't get that choice.Big gaps are not the end of the world.

OOoh, have another, definitely...

I've felt like this a few times (to say the least) and I went on to have 9 babies. Each one has and continues to be the most wonderful and exciting experience (and challenging at times). I don't regret a one of them. Unfortunately my age has put a stop to me having any more.
I Have m/c 8 times and do agree that it leaves you hormonal and emotional. Only you know whether it's what you really want and what would suit your family. As you say, you have plenty of time. I had my first at 27.
M/c can be draining physically and emotionally. Take care and be kind to yourself.

Wow Juuule thats amazing i take my hat of to you, do you mind if i ask what ages your children are?

Did you always want a big family?

I always said i would only have 2 kids & also said the same whe pg with my last (dd) but i feel quite sad at the thought of not having any more kids. Not sure what to do but i will give it a year or two from now anyway.

SAM - Mine are 19,16,15,13,11,9,8,6,3. And no I didn't think of having a large family. I originally thought 2 before I was 30 and carry on with my career in IT. Just goes to show how the ideas you set out with can change