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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Pregnant Teacher and sinking at work

21 replies

Yorkiedodah · 18/09/2013 13:34

I am a Secondary teacher about 23 weeks pregnant.

It's not been easy; I had HG in which I was signed off for 6 weeks last June/July. I then had the summer holidays in which I went through a threatened miscarriage with unexplained bleeding.

So I am now back at work just the second week in newly promoted post leading Drama but I'm past exhausted. It takes from me and I'm finding it hard to cope. I'm off work at the moment fighting off more sickness and I'm so worried about this new role; I think I'm losing it all the time.

I haven't officially let my Head know that I'll be taking maternity leave but I will be in the up and coming weeks (She does know I am pregnant though as I have chatted with her).

I had originally wanted to go off at Christmas due to this temporary promoted post but now I'm thinking earlier due to the way I'm feeling.

I'll be letting everyone down and myself as this opportunity is career changing. :(

Anyone else feel like their sinking at work??!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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MammySam · 18/09/2013 16:06

Oh really sorry to hear you're having a hard time. It is hard to cope with the tiredness and work too, especially in school! I worked in schools for a while and it's VERY tiring without being pregnant as well!
If you need to start maternity early go for it, that's the purpose if the leave ( other than t have the baby obviously!)
Hope you feel better soon!
:)

Cassieyellow · 18/09/2013 16:32

Hi I am a Head of Drama and completely empathise. Thing is you get worked up that you are letting everyone else down whether it be other teachers covering you or the kids who you want to do the best for. Above all it IS only a job and your life comes first. If you need to finish sooner then do it, regardless of what others Will think and the money side. If the Headteacher is any good he'll support your choices as the welfare of his/her staff should come first. I am 36 weeks now and it was always hard to relax due to nature of job and passion we have for it. Also don't forget the Autumn term is the killer. Christmas is a long way away! Good luck. x

Xenadog · 18/09/2013 18:00

I'm a secondary teacher too and blooming shattered! My timetable is crazy (the heaviest I have ever had) and combined with the pregnancy I feel like death most evenings.

I would suggest you talk about your mat leave and when you think you will need to leave; I'm 27 weeks and so leaving on 15th November which is a month before EDD. I think if I was doing a practical subject I would be going a week or so earlier than that as I teach English and Humanities which does mean I can sit at my desk a lot.

I think beginning mat leave a week or two earlier won't make too much difference to the running of the department but you would need to let the HT know this so they can employ someone to begin earlier. I would just make sure that things such as Year 11 coursework (if you have that) is all completed and tidied up for whoever has to step in your shoes.

AhoyAhoy · 18/09/2013 18:11

You have my sympathy ladies. I'm 34 weeks, also with a very heavy timetable and no classroom to call my own. I started at 7.45 today, having a quick dinner than will continue marking till about 8, when I will be grumpy for an hour or so and go to bed. Repeat for 4 and a half more weeks.

Its a tough job anyway, without being pregnant, and without being slagged off left right and centre about our 9-3 hours, 13 weeks holiday and having a day off to strike.

Only put your loyalty to your job first while it is still healthy for you to do so. Ultimately, the school will function without you, and there comes a time when enough is enough, and it's time to put your feet up (counting down the days.....)

Tea1Sugar · 18/09/2013 18:35

I'm only 9 weeks and I think I'm the worst primary teacher at the moment, I have zero energy and am clock watching from 7.20 when I get to school

qumquat · 18/09/2013 18:54

I'm a drama teacher too and on my knees. Rehearsals after school every night and having to bounce around all day. I was hoping to get to Christmas but now thinking mid December. Look after yourself first (must take my own advice...)

BreeWannabe · 18/09/2013 20:02

I'm a secondary teacher too and I'm finishing on Friday when I'll be 38 + 3... I can't WAIT. I'm also on a heavy demanding TT and this week I've been stressing about having the proper stuff for handover.
My advice would be, leave the building as early as you can and take work home; have a nap once you're home to reenergise. Don't walk around too much, and get the kids to help you out with day to day tasks like handing things out etc-the things we normally do ourselves without thinking. And for the next while, just do the minimum you can... No one will judge you if you aren't giving it your all right now! Prioritise the kids and their needs, and let everything else take more of a back seat. And if you need to be off-then be off! They'll cope!
Good luck :)

lovelylentils · 18/09/2013 20:19

I'm 26 weeks preg and a Y5/6 teacher and I'm absolutely exhausted!
Just finding everything a struggle and constantly chasing my tail to catch up with all the jobs dumped on my desk.
To make matters worse dh has been working away for the last 14 weeks so I've been looking after ds(3) and dd (21 months) on my own.

MsFiremanSam · 18/09/2013 21:17

You have my sympathies. I'm a secondary English teacher in a really tough inner city school, have a toddler already and found being pregnant utterly exhausting (had my DD 5 weeks ago). I was completely useless for most of it. It baffles me why people seem to think teaching is a job that fits well around family life. It's relentless and takes a huge toll on all aspects of your life.
The only advice I can offer is just to do the absolute minimum you can in terms of anything that doesn't directly impact the kids. When I was absolutely on my knees I went to see the Head and told her what I could cope with. At the end of the day they'd rather you be there doing the minimum than off sick.
And as others have said, it's just a job. I know it doesn't feel like that when you're in the thick of if though, it's easier to have that perspective once you're away from it and your little one is here.
Congratulations on your pregnancy

teacher123 · 18/09/2013 21:58

When I was pregnant I was working in a boarding school as a HoD (secondary music) and the pressure of it nearly finished me off. I ended up getting signed off sick due to high BP at 33 weeks and was put on bed rest. The sheer physical effort of teaching singing, doing rehearsals and practical lessons on top of all the exam pressure and administration was too much to bear. I didn't go back, I got another job whilst on maternity leave. It's just a job, at the end of the day your health is more important.

Xmasbaby11 · 18/09/2013 22:17

You should start mat leave early. I'm a teacher (adult) and finished at 36 weeks. Work wasn't even that busy at the time but I was exhausted and couldn't have gone another day.

Look after yourself!

Xenadog · 18/09/2013 23:36

Sorry - don't want to highjack the thread but to other teachers out there would you say no to an informal lesson obs (not being done for nay reason other than everyone is being observed) 4 weeks before you officially start mat leave? I am considering it.

OP, hopefully you have found lots of reassurance from people in the same position on here.

fizzyface · 19/09/2013 09:25

I'm not a teacher but am also 23 weeks and struggling with a toddler, a teenager and a new job I feel I just can't cope with. I think I'd have struggled with the job anyway but adding the pregnancy to the mix it just feels so overwhelming. I've been thinking more and more about leaving to a less stressful part time job - anywhere doing anything! My current job is very well paid though so DP and other family members just keep encouraging me to 'stick at it' and 'of course you can cope, we'll support you'. The problem is I don't WANT to be supported to carry on (ungrateful cow that I am) - I want the support to work part time and actually be able to enjoy time with the children. I feel constantly exhausted and trapped, like changing things at this late stage is just too late and I have to accept being stuck in a stressful job that I absolutely HATE and get on with it. I had a bit of a meltdown last night and have called in sick today just so I can spend the day in bed crying. Then I suppose I need to pull myself together and focus on the impending arrival of baby, just wish I could be stop feeling so miserable about my horrible job and enjoy the pregnancy. Sorry... moan over I'm off for a weep

SuffolkNWhat · 19/09/2013 12:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jojay · 19/09/2013 12:07

:-( Fizzyface

RosesInTheRain · 19/09/2013 18:26

Another secondary teacher here (Hums). I was due to finish at 34 weeks with DS but ended up being signed off sick at 31 weeks due to SPD. I agree, mat leave is there for the end of pg, not just the baby. No one will give you a medal for working until your due date, if anything it just seems to mean you won't get a rest before baby is due! It is just a job after all- prioritise yourself.

This is easy to say of course. I'm currently 7 weeks and really struggling with tiredness and nausea, plus having an almost 3yo at home in the evening... It's a rubbish part of the school year as well, feel like you should be working hard to get the year off to a good start.

quackojuliet · 19/09/2013 18:33

Similar to you OP, I'm 24 weeks, teacher and was signed off at the start of my pg - in my case 4 weeks. It's a tough job to balance with the sickness, fatigue and general changes of being pregnant.
Do you have an understanding head? If you are feeling overwhelmed it's so much better to talk to them so they can support you asap - there is a legal obligation for them to protect your health and safety and this includes stress/emotional health.
i am planning to work til xmas hols since this allows max pay and time with baby - you can always be signed off later if it gets too much imo - if more than 4 weeks before edd this wouldn't trigger mat leave.
take care of yourself

quackojuliet · 19/09/2013 18:38

and ps - you are not letting anyone down!
remember the school will carry on with you there or not.
hard fact to swallow but in teaching you are always replaceable.
put yourself and baby first.

AhoyAhoy · 19/09/2013 19:04

Xena, I am being observed on Monday, because another school are coming to look at our maths dept. I hadn't even considered saying no, as there are a lot of NQTs in our dept and I am one of the few experienced teachers who will be seen. I suppose you could refuse.

I can't help get the feeling though, that if I am in school I am expected to do my job and can't expect any concessions. Maybe I should start complaining a bit and see if it gets me anywhere. I suppose they won't know I'm struggling unless I tell them.

Xenadog · 19/09/2013 22:49

Ahoy ahoy my school is crazy - it's an indie so the rules about cover, duties, ppa, clubs, etc don't apply so I'm working longer hours etc than I have ever had before. I wouldn't mind if there was a reason for the obs but there isn't! We are all expected to show best practice but there is no focus, no explanation of standards - had no training in the 6 years I have been there on ofsted criteria- no understanding of when the information is going to be shared or if it even will be. It's utter bollocks.

My friend who is a Deputy in charge of T&L at another school said its just a box ticking exercise and told me not to go in!

Being pregnant isn't an illness but I think some jobs/employers are not suited to help out pregnant women.

Bkk13 · 21/09/2013 19:22

I'm 26 weeks and am assistant head of a primary school. I too had to have a month off around week 12, to only go back for an OFSTED. I'm back at work, knackered and to be honest doing my best to do the minimal amount of work possible, this was after having to restrain a child last week and realized that its just not worth the risk and that my baby is more important.

I had a frank conversation with my head and have told her that I'm going to be taking it easy and its exactly what I'm going to do. (Well try not as easy in practice!) feel your pain!

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