Feels like I'm in a never ending nightmare...

[PrincessConsuella]

I found out I was pregnant roughly 9 weeks back. Although this was planned ( sort of, I never fully bought into it) it felt surreal when I saw the bfp. I broke down and started crying hysterically.. And haven't stopped since. I've increasingly got depressed, so went to the doctor and got referred to councelling. Have been going to that, but I've increasingly become miserable and anxious. To the point that the doctor signed me off work for two weeks. I've barely left the house, cooked or cleaned. Which is so out of character that my family are worried for me. It's just me and husband who live here in the UK.. Our family lives in a different country 12 hour flight away. This has put so much strain on our relationship..that we both are like walking zombies. I've practically decided ( And I honestly don't know why) that I've been handed a death sentence in 9 months...is this normal??

I'm miserably anxious too very often. The important thing is to not catastrophise - which means don't fall into the trap of feeling like the way you feel now is how things will always be.
Has your doctor referred you to counselling/ CBT yet? If not, press for that.
I really do sympathise. My husband also has to put up with my fretting and I know it's hard on him.

I'm so sorry you are finding this so hard. No it isn't normal to feel like you are being handed a death sentence, but there is help out there and there are plenty of other women who have similar experiences.

Did the GP diagnose you with prenatal depression? There is a lovely organisation called PANDAS who support women with pre and/or post natal depression. Here's a link to their site, it might be worthwhile giving them a call on 0843 28 98 401 and seeing if they can advise you.

Julietee - thank you. The doctor has referred me to the pre natal councelling which I've been going for 3 weeks now.

MrsCakesPremonition - thank you. I'm going through the PANDAS website and will ring them tomorrow.

I keep visualising me going through a difficult labour or getting something like eclampsia. I haven't had a full nights sleep in days and maybe that has a part to play as well.

I think being concerned about pregnancy and birth is completely normal. I worry about all sorts of things I'd never heard of 20 weeks ago. Crying is also perfectly normal BUT what you're describing doesn't sound like a nice place to be. I hope the counselling and the website recommended help. I don't have any other advice but wanted to send you a hug

Pregnancy is a hard time, hormones all over the place and no one ever knows how they will react until it happens.
Well done for going to your GP and getting some therapy, that's a great step. If you feel you need more support just go back and say so, either to GP or therapy adviser, they'll be pleased you've asked rather than suffer.
What sort of therapy are you being given? It sounds like CBT might be a good idea for you so that you can learn to stop and change the problematic thoughts.
Sending you lots of virtual support and hugs. Where abouts are you OP? Have you tried looking on the mumsnet local forum for your area, perhaps meeting some new friends in your area might help?

You sound like me ... I have lost all sense of feeling happy .. Like someone put a dark black cloud over my head .. I get a pain in my leg and think is a dvt.. I think of all sorts of over the top things that could happen to me .. This is dc 3 and I felt exactly the same with dc2 .. I barely speak to dh.. All I can say is get all the help they offer and it goes as soon as dc2 was born the cloud lifted and I was back to bring me .. Pregnancy does funny things to you .. I'm lucky enough to have an amazing HV who comes and see me at home and she is just what I need and stop all those over dramatic thoughts .. X

Hi, brings me back to my first pregnancy - hope this pregnancy is better emotional/mental health wise. im getting a good feeling it will be! so glad you are no longer suffering in silence and are getting counselling. good luck and enjoy your baby.