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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Baby Shower Yay or Nay?

41 replies

jemimastar · 10/09/2013 16:13

shower at all??
I've been to a few and they were lovely occasions, yes we all bought pressies but in exchange were given a fab (and alcohol fuelled!) party which were really fun, girly events.
Have been asked by several people if Im having one so am excited at the thought of hosting one myself. I love hosting parties so would love to plan a really fun themed early evening bash and get to see lots of friends I haven't for a whole while giving them a fun eve- & lots of cocktails & good food in exchange.
Pressies are obviously lovely & an added bonus but I'd state on invites they aren't necessary?

What do people think?

OP posts:

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SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 11/09/2013 18:34

Christ NO! Over my dead body!

GingerPCatt · 11/09/2013 19:38

Writer people do play games but personally I prefer cake and drinks and a chat with friends but I'm a stick in the mud and hate that kind of thing.
I get the anti commercialism thing, but I'm a bit by the anti American remarks.

BurbGirl2013 · 12/09/2013 12:34

I don’t see what any fuss is about and agree Anti American sentiments are pretty harsh. I think it’s a lovely, really positive thing to do personally.

It’s a shame some pregnant ladies feel the need to spout their constant anxieties in a very negative way and bring everyone else down, yes things can go wrong at any stage, as can harm to all of us at any time anyway, but odds are by late stages of baby shower, you’re most likely to have a happy, healthy lovely baby! What is not cause to celebrate about that?! Id much prefer the chance to look forward to the impending arrival with my friends-many of whom may not have even seen the bump first hand than when overwhelmed physically and emotionally post baby, not to mention still having pounds to shed and feeling totally knackered with the house most likely ina total state- this celebration then! I think baby shower before and smaller meet ups with friends, out of hosue when baby there.

What is the big deal with pressies either?! Oh gosh, you might feel the need to buy a blanket or babygrow as gesture, in exchange for by the sounds of things a pretty great party! Why are people being so precious about this, I see no difference between engagement parties or even weddings and gift lists to a baby shower.

marzipanned · 12/09/2013 14:02

I don't spout my anxieties to anyone else (except DH!) and I would certainly NEVER say to anyone else that they shouldn't have a baby shower because "ooh the baby might be stillborn, have you thought about that?" or anything of the kind.

What I said is that I wouldn't want one myself because I am stupidly superstitious like that. After infertility and HG I am absolutely terrified of something going wrong with my pregnancy, I think that's fair enough.

I'm not in favour of anti-American sentiments because as I said I've lived there, I have a lot of American family, and I hope to live there again one day. I do think that American and British attitudes can be very different, though, particularly in regards to these types of celebrations.

That said - just remembering the episode of SATC when the girls go a baby shower and Carrie loses her shoes... :)

BurbGirl2013 · 12/09/2013 14:27

marzipanned totally and understood, don't think your posts stood out as being overly harsh at all.

The Carrie looses her shoes ep is 1 of the best SATC EVER!! So true in terms of remembering to honour and value friends who haven't had kids/got married and celebrate their lives too

marzipanned · 12/09/2013 14:44

Yes!

Sorry, I don't know why I got so defensive there.

I do think these kind of celebrations can make some British people uneasy though. Gift lists though... surely a good idea. For example a few friends could club together and buy you a play mat, that's surely more useful than getting four lovely babygrows that are outgrown in a matter of weeks...

BurbGirl2013 · 12/09/2013 14:50

Totally!

StillPukin · 12/09/2013 15:30

Stupid question.... Are the gifts that are given at the shower instead of giving presents when the baby arrives or as well as..?

marzipanned · 12/09/2013 15:33

IME, instead of.

marzipanned · 12/09/2013 15:35

Actually - scratch that. Thinking back - it depends on how close you are to the showeree (?!) If best friend/sister/daughter you'd probably get them something else afterwards as well, but then again I'd take my best friend's baby a present every time I saw her (we don't live near each other, only see each other a few times a year!!)

StillPukin · 12/09/2013 15:43

Ah ok, thanks - I'm usually an etiquette clown lol

ThisIsntOver · 12/09/2013 18:26

I wouldn't. But I can see you might enjoy a get-together before the birth. I would stipulate absolutely no gifts though. I would feel both superstitious and grabby otherwise.

I've never been invited to one, never known anyone have one.

shoegal84 · 14/09/2013 22:00

I've got a close group of 6 friends and 2 have had babies this year. We planned showers for both of them - both done as a surprise and just for the 7 of us.

The first friend gave birth 7 weeks premature so we actually ended up doing the event when the baby had arrived. It was loads of fun, we ate alot and played some fun and simple games. We all clubbed together and bought various bits and pieces we thought she would like.

The second one we did a couple of weeks ago and did an afternoon tea/pampering afternoon with games. The mother to be is incredibly organised and put together a list of things they needed (she didn't give this out to everyone, but we are really close friends and would prefer to buy her what she wanted rather than random stuff). We were able to club together again and bought an activity gym as well as loads of other stuff.

Both baby showers went down really well and we had a real laugh. They were very light hearted and all gifts given were the only ones (no more given when baby is born).

Not sure how I'd feel about having one with lots more people invited who may not know each other that well, but loved spending special time with my closest friends.

Now I'm pregnant and secretly can't wait for mine!

Mondayschild78 · 14/09/2013 22:55

I think you should go for it. I wasn't really a fan in the past but I think they are definitely more common now and having been to a few as well as having two friends throw me a surprise one I have been converted! They are a lovely chance to get together with a group of your best friends before baby arrives and in reality you just don't get to see people as much and have that quality time for a while.

Enjoy and all the best for your new arrival!

HopeS01 · 15/09/2013 09:45

OP, go for it!!!!!
I will definitely be having a gathering with my friends and family when I start my maternity leave.
I live and work in London, and will be moving back to the Isle of Wight (where I'm originally from) in December to have my baby (due end of Jan). I haven't been able to see my friends and family much throughout my pregnancy so a tea party is just what I need to celebrate coming home, the end of pregnancy and most importantly... the baby coming!!
I will specifically ask that no one brings gifts, and I won't be calling it a "shower" but I can't think of anything nicer than getting together with my girls, catching up, having some nice food and getting even more excited!

It's a wonderful time to celebrate, and a great opportunity to spend some time with the people you love while you still have the energy to party!

Xenadog · 15/09/2013 10:28

I've managed to avoid other people's baby showers and have no intention of having one for me either. It's just not my thing but I get that other people like them. I have said to my friends I want a cocktail party once the baby is born as I have so missed my mojitos! My girl friends all seem to think that is a better use of time, money and more suited to me than a baby shower.

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