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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

22 weeks with first baby, in- laws are not showing any interest! &#55357;&#56852;

14 replies

DiminyCricket13 · 10/09/2013 15:40

Hi mamas,

I am 22 weeks preggers with our first baby, and bf and I are extremely excited.
My only concern is that bf's parents aren't showing any signs that they are looking forward to our new bundle of joy. It's really upsetting me, not for my sake, as I have a very supportive family, but for his. I feel so sorry for him.
I think the in-laws are probably just concerned about us financially as we are only 24 and pregnancy wasn't planned so it's. all come as a bit of a shock. But they never ask about the baby or scans or anything and tbh I feel his aunty is going to be more of a grandma to the little one than his mom!
Has anyone else had similar experience? And did they change their attitudes once the baby had arrived?

Love to hear from anyone,
Diminy xxx

OP posts:

meditrina · 10/09/2013 15:52

Lots of people aren't that excited about someone else's pregnancy, even when it is a family member. It's no indication what they will be like with the baby once it is born.

chillisbopper · 10/09/2013 16:16

Perhaps they are just feeling like it's a while off yet, my inlaws showed no interest until 26 weeks and that was only after we'd started piecing together the nursery and sent them photos.

It's difficult to get excited and feel like it's all really happening when it's so far away and I suppose more so because it isn't happening to them.

My inlaws were also concerned financially and I have never had a great relationship with them so that didn't help but once they saw that we were on top of things and able to manage our finances around the big change in our life as necessary and that we were able to provide for our child without calling on them for everything their attitude completely changed.

MrsDibble · 10/09/2013 19:32

Maybe they are a bit old fashioned and in their day you didn't get excited til you had the baby in your arms?

DaleyBump · 10/09/2013 19:35

DP's family couldn't care less. It works for us, I can't stand them and it means I don't have to put up with the irritating questions from two sides of the family.

reddaisy · 10/09/2013 19:44

All very normal unfortunately. My in laws still aren't bothered and the DC are 4 and 2! Try not to let it bother you

Andanotherthing123 · 10/09/2013 19:49

My in-laws were very excited when I was expecting their first grand child, but became much less bothered about DS when he was about 6 months and their daughter had a son. It's been that way for many years now and it still gets on our nerves and hurts a bit.

But, we try to console ourself with the fact that we don't really have to deal with them and my DC are very close to my parents, so they are not missing out.

Hopefully your in-laws will be the other way around and become keen once baby arrives. Congrats on your pregnancy!

Morien · 11/09/2013 03:36

My DM isn't remotely interested in my pregnancy. It would bother me, except that she was like this with DSis's pregnancy too (DSis was very upset), and she continued to be very remote when my niece was a baby...only to turn into the most fantastic grandma once DN got through the baby stage. I'm assuming that's what'll happen with me & my DC too. (But the odd bit of interest in my pregnancy wouldn't go amiss )

beth27123 · 11/09/2013 08:24

Mine are similar, interested enough if we bring something up but would never talk about it. I'm quite glad as I'm a private person and I don't think I could cope with all the interest, especially with my own family!

Ragwort · 11/09/2013 08:28

But what exactly do you want them to do? To be honest excessive interest in people's pregnancy can be really over-bearing and intrusive, it's a bit of a modern thing isn't it? I wouldn't have dreamed of showing anyone my scan photos - who on earth is interested? Apart from saying 'congratulations' what are the GPs meant to be doing?

You see plenty of threads with over-involved GPs to be who won't leave the subject alone .

EsTutMirLeid · 11/09/2013 08:31

But how do you want them to show their excitement? They may not be expressive people. You are half way through your pregnancy there's not much to get excited about yet. Other people's pregnancies just aren't interesting.

Wait until a week before your due date and they're likely to get excited and then once the baby is born and in laws will want to cuddle baby etc... And you'll be back on MN saying MIL won't leave my baby alone!

MonstersDontCry · 11/09/2013 08:34

My inlaws showed no intrest in my 2 pregnancies. But once they were born, I couldn't have asked for better grandparents for my children. They are fantastic. As someone said before, some people aren't bothered until the baby is actually here. Congratulations btw

Dackyduddles · 11/09/2013 08:36

Agree thoughts on pregnancy no indication of what will happen afterwards.

Tbh I'd be very much enjoying the peace. I'm guessing that will be shattered soon enough by them.....

DontmindifIdo · 11/09/2013 08:45

Are they worriers? It could be they haven't got in their minds to the point when they consider this to be an exciting baby arriving, rather than a problem. If you are young and not finanally stable they might still be thinking about this as a problem, when there's an actual grandchild to snuggle, they might well be far happier.

Original poster

DiminyCricket13 · 11/09/2013 19:18

Thanks for all your replies!

It's not that they aren't showing excitement, I realise that they may not see anything exciting in my being pregnant and hopefully when the baby arrives they will be happy, but I get the impression that MIL is annoyed about it. If we ever mention anything to do with the baby she doesn't comment, or she will turn away/ change the subject. It's not just ignorance, I'm sure of it.

When DP's aunty spoke to her about it and said she was so lucky to be becoming a grandma, she said 'oh I don't know about that!'

Perhaps she resents me because she thinks I'm taking her 'little boy' away! I just wish she was more supportive, not for my sake.. But for his.

Thanks again girls, you're comments are really helpful. I've never had in-law problems before, in the 7 years we've been together, so this is all very new to me. Xx

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