OK back now.
junkfood, your DS that needed the phototherapy, was he your first pregnancy?
If so, then it's extremely unlikely that he was affected by rhesus disease (although not impossible, but you should have had bloods taken at 28w as well, which could have picked it up and if there was any evidence of anti-D at that point, you would have needed further tests too, to keep an eye on your levels)
The way it usually works is this:
your first RhD+ pg/baby shouldn't be affected because first exposure to the D antigen will cause you to create an IgM antibody.
This is a large antibody, and is too big to cross the placenta. It also takes a few days to fully create this antibody from scratch, so it's a slow response.
When the body makes this antibody, it will keep a "memory cell" that remembers the template though - so next time your body sees that same antigen (works for all antigens, not just RhD!) it will be able to respond more quickly and produces an IgG antibody.
This is MUCH smaller (5x smaller) and can cross the placenta, which is why subsequent babies/pg are at risk of RhD.
However, it's not a given that any subsequent babies WILL get rhesus disease - you have to be provoked to produce the secondary response, and your levels of antibody have to be sufficient to cause problems. Any evidence of anti-D in your blood will mean that you are monitored closely throughout your pg to see if your levels rise and there are things they can do to avoid the worst outcomes. Intra-uterine transfusion is one - the most amazing thing! But hopefully not something you'd ever need to experience.
So - going back to your case - if DS was your first pg, then unlikely he was affected.
If there had been significant crossover of his blood into yours, then you would have needed more than one shot of anti-D; this WOULD have been picked up on the Kleihauer test - when you see your GP you can ask if you had a positive Kleihauer.
If you have produced your own anti-D, this will be picked up when your booking bloods are taken, and you will be monitored from then on, frequency will depend on the levels of anti-D in your blood.
Re. your brother - who knows, it could have been a weak D instead of a variant (much less rare) - if he is typed as RhDu, then it's a weak D. This type of person doesn't make anti-D because all the bits are there, they are just less obvious.
It was described to me as this: imagine the D antigen is made up of 6 teeth - with a Du, all the teeth are there, but they're only half out; but with a D variant, one or more of the teeth are missing and the person could make antibodies to the missing teeth.
The other possiblity is that he had an interesting collection of C, E, c and e antigens. When blood is typed, it's not just the D status that is given - CEce status is also required. This gives a Rh phenotype. "Rhesus negative" is usually cde/cde, also coded as rr. d = no D (there is no d antigen). This is the most common form of RhDneg blood. However, he could have C or E as well, in which case he would be typed as variously:
Cde/cde = r'r
Cde/Cde = r'r'
cdE/cde = r''r
cdE/cdE = r''r''
Cde/cdE = r'r''
CdE/CdE = ryry (VERY rare)
That might be more information than you actually wanted or needed
but you can see it's all a lot more complex than it at first seems, which is why you couldn't really expect a MW to know it, or even a doctor who doesn't have a special interest in it.
If your brother has a card with his blood group on it, it should have some indication of his Rh status - if it's any of the above, you'll know now what it all means :)