First time pregnancy - terrified! Anyone else due around 1st Jan?

[dessirie]

I have been trying to get pregnant for about 6 years, and have suffered numerous miscarriages and had a lot of medical problems which led to me having a laparoscopy last year. As I have been trying so long to conceive it really took me by surprise when the pregnancy test was positive. Even though I am now 23 pregnant and showing it still has the ability to shock me when I stop and think "I'm really pregnant!" I am also bewildered with all the conflicting information on the internet - do this, not that. Yes do that and not this! My midwife is not very helpful and said to "look it up" when I asked various questions.
My due date is 1st January and I am petrified about the labour. I do not have a very high pain threshold and am worried I will panic. I have actually woken in the middle of the night having a panic attack - after dreaming that I couldn't get my breath during labour. I realise women do this every day and sometimes 3 or 4 times - but it doesn't help my anxiety. If I am like this now, what will I be like in December - near the due date!? Is anyone due around the same time and is willing to chat to me. Can anyone give me a positive birth story for me to focus on?
Is anyone just willing to share worries with me?

I am not sure if I am going to be much help, but I hope so.

I am a week ahead of you (due boxing day) and I am really excited.

I also keep seeing my bump, or feeling it, and have to double take to realise I am carrying a mini person, but then it makes me smile.

I keep having worries that it isn't going to work out well, but then I remind myself, that is normal because I love the little one and I will be in the best possible hands in the hospital. Women have been doing this for years, so I am just trying to enjoy the ride.

plus when I see the look of love in my mummy friend's eyes, it makes it very exciting to me.

I think it is important to listen to your body and do as it says. If you have any doubt, contact your midwife team, or the hospital.

My MW has been a little 'functional' and matter of fact, but when I called the other day she was really reasurring.

If you are really anxious, go speak to your doc, maybe go visit the birthing centre, keep on mumsnet and know you aren't alone.

I hope this helps

let's see what others have to say. I am sure they will be more helpful than me :)

I'm also due Boxing Day Carole803 and its my first so I can't provide any positive birth stories.. My MW is also very functional and to be honest very patronising!

I too am worried about the birth but think people do this everyday and survive and when talking to friends recently many of them have had very positive birth experiences, I think you just tend to hear the horror stories and pay more attention to them- I did!

I was concerned about appointments over Christmas and being in hospital at this time (what if there are no staff there??) but I'm assured that this is not the case!

My biggest concern is I don't really look 24 weeks pregnant, people keep saying 'where is your bump?'.. My friend who is 4 weeks behind me looks pregnant. I get measured at my next MW appointment next week, and knowing her I'll be too small/too big/weigh too much/weigh not enough.. Nothing is ever right :)

Hi op, if your looking for support then join the due in january 2014 antenatal thread, were on thread 8, a chatty lot and there are loads of first timers there too.

Hi ladies I'm a little bit behind you, due 13 th Jan. This is baby number 2 and I still have to keep reassuring myself that there really is a little person growing inside of me. I don't think that ever goes away. Being pregnant is such a miracle it can be a little hard to get your head around at times.
Are we all feeling baby move now? Thats always a good way to keep calm, each little kick is a jolt of reassurance.
My birth story with my daughter isn't great so wont share that with you, it has however got me fretting about this one so I can only join the shared worrying over the birth at the moment, sorry.
Lets try to focus on the nice stuff though, have you started getting your nurseries read yet? I have been looking at furniture this week but not bought anything yet, I love all the planning and getting things ready :-)
Did find out sex of baby at 20 week scan or are you having a surprise?
Xx

im also due on the 1st of jan and ive also had seven previous miscarriages so I no how you feel its terrifying isn't it good luck xx

Thank you to everyone who answered, it's good to talk to people who can sympathise and understand. My husband just says "my Mum did it 5 times! And 15 year olds do it" (not very understanding!) Reading my original thread - I made it sound like I'm not happy being pregnant! I am over the moon it has finally happened - but it's just the approaching due date that is getting to me. Thanks for the info on the January due date thread - I will go on there.
I can relate to Dusty04 and going in around Christmas (staffing levels). My biggest fear about going in January is a terrible bout of snow! The country seems to slow and almost grind to a halt when we get a few inches, and when someone the other day said "hope its not bad snow!" as a joke, I started thinking "what if the midwives can't make it in - or I can't make it to hospital?!"
I would just like time to fast forward to the end of January when I have my little one!

Hi, I'm due 1st Jan with DC3 but I'm still panicking at the idea. I think thats only natural. Please don't worry too much about the birth. In my (limited) experience by the time labour comes around you'll be so fed up with being pregnant you'll be desperate for them to get it out any which way they can. Yes it hurts but the pain comes in waves, its not constant and you can rest in between which makes it managable. I had an active labour with DC2, was bouncing on a ball for most of it. The midwife gave me a pot of tea and toast with marmalade on to keep me going and it was all over in 5 hours. The endorphin high I got having given birth to a beautiful boy kept me going for weeks - its a wonderful experience :) Good luck!

Congratulations. I'm due 31st December with dc2

I had the same fears as you have when I had my first. I too have a low pain threshold and really worried that I'd turn into a gibbering, screaming mess, but I didn't . The best piece of advice I was given was to see each contraction as being one step closer to meeting my baby and it really got me through. I just took it one contraction at a time and found what helped ease the pain and went with it (for some contractions early contractions it was leaning over rhw birthing ball, for example). Also keeping an open mind in regards to birth plan etc is really useful. No one knows how labour is going to progress before it happens. I ended up being induced because my waters went. Something I'd not really counted on but I went with the flow and didn't stress myself out- I think if I'd had a rigid birth plan that had to change I would have been worried and stressed.

Anyway, I'm waffling now and I'm sure I'm beginning to sound like the most calm labouring woman ever (I really wasn't!)

Congrats! I'm due Jan 3rd with my first.

I'm not as scared as you - but then I haven't really thought about birth yet! I do worry about staffing levels and people coming to work 'tired and emotional' after NY parties (not that I think doctors or midwives really would, but I still worry!), and a little about getting there.

I second sarahl's suggestion of joining us here on the Jan 2014 antenatal thread