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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Rubbish midwife

12 replies

star15 · 05/09/2013 13:23

I am 40 weeks today and just had an appointment with the worlds worst midwife, any question I ask she basically ignores, when she asked how are you I explained that I have been getting pains on my right side a bit like period pains, and is this normal, she didn't even answer me, I am a first time mum so all pains etc are new and I don't know what to expect.

This is just a rant at how rubbish she has been throughout my whole pregnancy my heart sinks every time I see its her I am seeing

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Brodicea · 05/09/2013 13:49

Boo, sounds very dispiriting! Is she hard of hearing? Maybe you'll just have to try and be more assertive / cranky... easier said than done. Maybe you could change? I'm only very early on with my first so no idea!

Longtalljosie · 05/09/2013 14:10

Ok - if you're 40 weeks you do need answers. Is there a phone number on your notes for midwives / antenatal care?

sprite25 · 05/09/2013 14:33

Im not as far along as you but know how you feel, my midwife is also quite useless and despite telling me everytime i see her that all i need to do is txt her anytime to ask about anything, on three occasions i tried doing this and she never replies or does anything to check up on me even when i was asking her about quite bad pain i was having at one point. My advice is to get hold of the number of your local midwife unit or something so that you can get in touch with people who might actually bother to help you!

Original poster

star15 · 05/09/2013 14:34

I think she is just in general a bad midwife as everyone in the area seems to dislike her to.

OP posts:

HumptyDumptyBumpty · 05/09/2013 14:36

Oh dear, OP, how frustrating.
Not that it helps now, but if/when you see her again, I'd employ the advice given to me by my old tutor (it works): become a broken record.
'Yes, I see that but '. 'Thanks, but ' etc. You will wear her down.

My last midwife was very dismissive about pains etc - she said 'you do know that you will experience 'some discomfort' during pregnancy, don't you?' . I explained that I fully expected mortal agonies in labour and all sorts of pains, but that I wanted reassurance that these pains were not serious and worrying ones. She just looked at me as if I were oddly stupid. Hateful cow.

absentmindeddooooodles · 05/09/2013 14:39

I had this too. I was 20 when I concieved ds and didnt find out until 21 weeks ( long story lots of pg tests and useless doctors) anyway, the firat words my midwife said to me were....so I take it you dont know who the father is then? I was sitting next to dp at the time and was gobsmaked. She then lectured us about contraception and stis ( I had been on the pill and takenit religiously). She told me adoption was an optionas I was so young etc etc.
I complained and still got her coming back. I was 21 when I had him and got put in a room with 15 year olds and treated like a child. She did not believe me when I said I needed to push and I ended up with horrid tearing as she did not even check on baby who was back to back.
Yes I know I was young, but she could have been kinder. I complained in writing and she got a slap on the wrist but that was that. Ring and ask for a different midwife if you are not happy with her. I hope thwy do something about it for you as you need all the support you can get in those last stages x

MrsDibble · 05/09/2013 17:05

I think you should ask to see someone else. You need to feel supported as well as being looked after properly - even if she is actually taking care of your medical needs she needs to put your mind at rest and answer your questions because that is part of taking care of you and the baby.

Most midwives I have come across are lovely and brilliant at their job, but there are the odd few who you wonder why they went into a caring profession rather than, say, the army or prison service...

Worst story I had was of my friend whose midwife told her, during labour, not to make so much noise as she would upset the other mothers! Poor friend arrived at hospital too late for an epidural and the gas and air didn't work on her because she is 6 ' 3" and alcohol doesn't affect her either! If you get one like that sent her away and ask for a replacement!

AhoyAhoy · 08/09/2013 09:35

My midwife sounds similar. I am considering not going to my next appointment, at 36 weeks, because every question I ask is just dismissed and I leave the appointment feeling like I've had an absess checked, rather than discussing the progress of my baby's development and my health .
OK, she listens to baby's heartbeat, but I wander if the daily breakdancing baby does is enough to know that baby is ok. (In reality, I would not be able to miss the appointment, as I am a slightly nervous first-timer. I will just have to accept the fact that the appointment is gonna be shit, and I am missing even more work)

Dusty04 · 08/09/2013 14:31

I don't like my midwife either, she is really patronising. DH and I are on put early 30s but feel like we get talked to like we are children. She seems just to want to put ticks in boxes rather than discuss things with me.

She never asks how I am, just fills on my notes, checks BP and urine then sends me on my way. She even told me not to ring her and to ring the local assessment unit for everything as she has busy surgeries and won't get back to me!

I've spoken to 2 friends who also had this midwife who said she was the same with them. I'm back next week for an appointment and not looking forward to it!

HorryIsUpduffed · 08/09/2013 22:45

Ahoy do please go. The urine and BP checks have genuinely saved lives. Better safe than sorry but plan a trip to a cake shop for afterwards.

vj32 · 09/09/2013 12:00

Ask to see another midwife. One of the things they said last time to me at booking in was that if at any point you are not happy or don't feel comfortable for any reason you are entitled to request another midwife.

On the plus side - you are very very unlikely to actually have her deliver your baby.

User3433399 · 09/09/2013 13:20

Yes, do arrange to see another community midwife. It's not on that she's ignoring your questions and concerns. Do you have a midwife triage number of the front of your notes? If so that usually goes to your maternity ward and you can ask them about the pains you are having, they may invite you to come in and they'll have a proper check.

I was always surprised in my first pregnancy how quick the MW visits were and how little info was given. I got more from books and MN than I ever did from her. Some of them barely made eye contact and didn't allow for questions. This time round it's much better, but somehow once you're on your second pregnancy everyone takes you more seriously and is less patronising (you don't get the 'paranoid first timer' attitude) - it's infuriating when I look back!

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