Just told a colleague at 10 weeks and now I really regret it....

[GaryWilmotsWedding]

I have been performing very poorly at work and felt I was really letting a colleague down. It's not someone I have worked with before and when I was apologising for my poor performance I just blurted it out...and now I am so mad at myself! I am glad she knows why she's been working with a lunatic, but I feel so frustrated I've let it slip and like I have burdened her with the knowledge. She is the only one at work who knows and I'm worried she might share it with people. She is not my boss but I am certainly the junior party.

We have told close friends and family because we would tell them if the worst happened anyway, but I certainly wouldn't tell this colleague so I honestly don't know why I couldn't keep my big mouth shut until I'm out of the first trimester! We haven't had any sort of scan yet so am very worried about MMC. Anyone else done this?! Feel like I am getting everything wrong!

Try not to worry.. You are only two weeks from when most people tell snd hopefull you will feel better then and you can make up for a difficult few weeks.

I told my boss early due to health and safety risks and they told another older senior woman nd it got out. I was fuming. I complained and said while I was not taking it further, I will never trust them again.

We hadn't told family, at least you have done that.

I hope you feel better soon... Congratulations x

Hi, I think that you should not worry about it - how did she react, was she supportive? In my first pregnancy I told my boss/ trainer at 8 weeks ( even before family) because I was so ill and was conscious I wasn't functioning that well at work (ie just getting by). I think it is inevitable you end up telling colleagues earlier for these reasons. Anyway if you are 10 weeks you would probably have been telling everyone in a couple of weeks anyway. For me it was a relief not to worry I migjt just be thought of as lazy/ not conscientious enough

Thanks ladies, that's very reassuring. She was very supportive and sweet, saying she had been worried about me. That's kind of why I told her, because I hadn't realised I had been quite so awful, and I thought she deserved an explanation. I just don't know her very well, and I don't know what she'll do with the info....Feel weird when I have good friends at work I haven't told! Such a strange thing of me to do!

That is terrible mrspaddy! shocking behaviour. You must have been apoplectic. I am so hoping the same thing doesn't happen here.

I have really struggled with the idea of people just thinking I'm not doing my job properly and as supportive as my DH is, he doesn't seem to understand that. He would be furious if he knew, and I guess I will have to tell him later! evalluna I haven't been very sick or anything like that, just very tired and worried as have had a bit of bleeding which terrified me...I didn't get much work done for days then! So again, my performance should not really have been as compromised as it has been!

There is also that ridiculous nagging 'jinxing' it feeling. Which is the most annoying and frustrating thing of all. So idiotic.

I found the first 12 or so weeks the worst because it's the time when you often feel most sick and tired, but the time when you can't share this with anyone. I found it very difficult not to say anything to colleagues, but luckily, I work from home so could hide it better. I think you did the right thing because at least now she knows the reasons why you've been the way you have and it sounds as if she responded well to it. It would probably have caused you unnecessary stress if you'd carried on trying to hide it from her.

I told my accountant around 10 weeks before any of my close friends because I needed her advise on my finances pre/during/post pregnancy!

It got out at my work too at about at 7-8 weeks because I've been off so much lately. I guess they just worked it out. My boss must have confirmed it to them though. Hmm, it hadn't occurred to me to be cross with him because he's been so good about all the time off!

I told my boss at 9 weeks for exactly the same reasons. I just felt like I was doing such an awful job. He was really nice about it. I was worried in case something happened and I told too early but I figured I couldn't carry on without him thinking I was rubbish at my job!

I was really scared about MMC too even though I'd been feeling really sick. So I think it's normal too. Try not to worry you'll see the little one soon.

What's done is done, and if you can manage to not beat yourself up about it so much the better. Early pregnancy can be a bit lonely with no-one knowing such a huge thing, and I'm amazed that I haven't taken out an advert in my organisational e-magazine the second the pee was dry (hmm, thought for the future!).

Completely agree with the wee email asking for a bit of discretion.

Good luck, and many congrats! x

Thanks ladies, feeling better today. Pregnancy is making me a crazy person! I seem to be analyzing everything 10 times as much as I would usually (and that's a lot!) and feeling quite out of control. Today I feel a bit like, 'so what' - I told her because she deserved to know why I had been so crap and not telling her was getting silly. Your words calmed me right down yesterday! And if I have to 'untell' her, she still will have known why I've been so rubbish and it's better that way too.

Thanks all, and good luck with your pregnancies! xx

That's the spirit :)

I think it was very sensible to have told her (even if it was a bit of a blurt :o)

The early weeks when you feel awful and have to pretend to be peachy can be awful, especially at work.