GPs and Midwife..... is this normal?

[AhoyAhoy]

First pregnancy and not entirely sure what to expect from health care providers, but so far been very underwhelmed by my GPs (have several at my surgery) and my community midwife. Just wondering if this is the norm.

Midwife seems very unenthusiastic (understandable, it's her job, not her first baby like it is mine). But I always come out of my appointments feeling a bit low. (Have enjoyed interacting with other midwives at scans, GTT, bloods)

I told her I had developed pelvic pain, told her I hope it doesn't last the remainder of the pg, she replied that she hopes so too. That was it.

Saw a GP about the pelvic pain, she called it SPD, showed me a couple of websites and suggested I do some homework on it. No advice offered.

Saw a GP about anti- histamines during pg (mw advised me to speak to a GP, she couldn't give me any information). He looked up advice on the internet, wrote a couple of names on a scrap of paper which I promptly lost.

Is this normal? I am considering changing GPs after baby is born, but if this is what I can expect everywhere, then I may not bother.

What we're you expecting? You're not ill, just pregnant. If all is well with the pregnancy, there's not much to say really.

Phone the midwife and get a referral to the maternity physio - if you have spd there's some important things you need to know about delivery, and exercises etc you need to do to prevent future problems.

What are you expecting them to do?

I'm not being snarky, I'm genuinely curious.

I cant offer any advice on spd but I can offer some sympathy with how you're feeling about your support.
I'm 22 weeks pregnant and feel exactly the same as you about the support offered by the 'professionals'. Trying to get advice is like pulling teeth! Thank goodness for Dr Google.

This sounds pretty normal tbh.

My pregnancy became complicated at the end with high BP and protein in my pee so I had to see my midwife weekly (daily at the end) and she always made me feel like I was being a nuisance.

I guess some people are in the wrong job....midwives atthe hospital were brilliant though.

Pukin - the professionals are there to ensure that your pregnancy is progressing in a healthy way. What advice are you wanting from them?

Like I said, not sure what to expect, and wondered whether my experience is normal.

I am led to believe that SPD can be potentially quite serious, and I am interested to know if/ how this will affect labour, if I should be doing anything to help the situation, if I should be avoiding anything (I said this to GP). Is SPD a normal progression of pregnancy then Ali?

I now have to trust Dr Google, rather than get advice from a doctor.

Thanks for the suggestion Dame, and sorry to hear that Pukin, but useful to hear that you think this does seem to be norm.

It's pretty normal. I still vividly remember being in tears to the midwife about the severity of my SPD and she stood and watched me for a few minutes with a face devoid of sympathy, handed me a tissue, and told me I just had to put up with it. This isn't actually true. An osteopath or chiropractor can really help, and even a regular NHS physio is better than nothing. To be fair, there is a really good website - www.pelvicpartnership.org.uk/ - if you haven't already seen it.

With my second and third babies I had such lovely midwives, they took such an interest and even though they offered nothing more than the first one (I was high risk but it was outside their scope) their whole attitude made me feel like me and baby were important to them and that if I did have an issue they'd take it seriously.

So it sounds like much of your feelings could well be down to the individual midwife. I do remember feeling just like you did with my first.

Oh, and thanks saycheese. I suppose all that really matters is that you find the midwifes at the hospital more affable. I did think that midwifery required a certain personality type, but I suppose that's not necessarily so.

Thank you Crispy. I'll take a look at the website. Like I said above, I just hope that the midwives on D day make me feel more comfortable and relaxed.

I also have SPD and have to see a physio on a regular basis. I got referred by my midwife. Well I say my midwife but it wasn't. I saw same one for each appointment and felt awful after every one of them. She went on holiday for a week and I saw another who was amazing. Made me feel better about everything referred me to physio and booked me a scan as I was measuring 4 weeks ahead. My own midwife has said this on numerous occasions and just says I'm going to struggle with such a big baby. So not very helpful!!
So I guess it depends who you see. I would love to change midwives but can't because she is based at my doctors! But I have to say my GP has been amazing and really given me loads of advice from the minute I found out I was pregnant! (In her surgery after thinking I had a bug,lol)
Hope u feel better about stuff soon but seriously push for physio as it has made such a difference to me xx

Wow,some helpful people on this thread.

Fgs.

Ahoy- if the pelvic pain is bad it can be worth insisting on a physio referral. Most GPs/MWs seem to just calm it SPD and there's an attitude that you should just put up with it. It might not even be SPD,and there are things you can do that will help, and physio may give you exercises to do.

Ah yes, also what Crispy said

ahoy - I think you might bedcover thinking this slightly

However, I appreciate that in not the best person to be commenting as I had and currently have absolutely no interest in interacting with midwives more than I need. I just want to get in and out of appointments. I share any excitement etc with DH and my family etc.

However, you should feel confident and comfortable with the midwives in attendance when you give birth. If you don't, you are perfectly entitled to ask for another one if you're just not clicking. I did that half way through a very long labour when the shift changed and a midwife appeared and very rudely and roughly examined me. My DH dealt with it all very pleasantly but firmly and I then had a lovely midwife for giving birth. So, make sure your birth partner knows about that do you can give him/ her a sign and they can sort it out. It's not nice to be worrying about having someone you don't gel with at such an important moment

Alibabaandthe40nappies The advice I'd wanted was.. what are the implications of my low lieing placenta, why do I need an anti D injection when its never been mentioned before (3rd pregnancy), I wanted to discuss where to have the baby but havent had time with midwives, why did she write to my gp saying several things have been discussed and decided on when they havent. Just basically bits of things, my first baby was 14 yrs ago, miscarriage 2 yrs ago and now I'm a bit apprehensive about a few things and would just like to feel like somebody is on my side - but no such luck

still - but just ask at the appointments about all of this stuff? There's so much stuff on the Internet that I would prefer to google but if you want someone to tell you then just ask the midwife - they're obliged to do it.

If there's something not right in your notes, correct it and ask the midwife to correct it with the GP

The SPD issues - agree with the other posters Push that if needs be.

That's exactly same as my experience. However one of my GPs (very young) forgot to tell me to stop taking a prescription medicine - I'd stopped anyway but it was quite a serious medication. He phoned up two days later.

And my community midwife wasn't just disinterested but positively cold. Also extremely aggressive when I expressed an interest in pain relief during labour, when I asked in passing what an epidural was she refused to tell me, & said I didn't need to know because "the best form of pain relief is water"
I presume she meant a bath rather than a drink!

Not expecting overblown excitement but it would be nice if they were at least happy to see you!

I will request a different community midwife next time.

Oh & funnily the anaesthetist didn't rely on a glass of water for me when I had my EMCS!

I could have written your post I'm changing hospitals for the rest of my antenatal care as I have no confidence in them is that an option for you? Xx

Of course I have asked but..

the letter was "automatically generated"

the placenta "dont worry, worse case scenario you'll need a c-section (no mention about things I should/shouldnt do)

the place of birth "wont be discussed until you're 38 wks because things can change"

the anti D - "well you should've had it"

is it normal to still be throwing up at 22 wks/anything I can do to feel slightly more normal "no time to discuss"

Wow. My experiences with midwives have been so different from many people on this thread.

I've been seeing a community midwife at my local health centre mostly.

Ahoy As for what you should expect for the issues you mentioned - my midwife made a note of my hip pain on my computer notes and told me if it didn't go away to ring and ask for a physio appt and they'd see she'd recommended it. She also went and got a prescription from a doctor for antihistamines for me. (He prescribed chlorphenamine, which is the generic name for Piriton I think, it tells you the ingredients on the packet). She's been very friendly and not at all judgemental about pain relief, breastfeeding etc so I couldn't ask for a better experience.

Can you request a different midwife?

I hope you get some help with the SPD. I've heard it's very painful.

in my first pregnancy, the midwives were brilliant and everyone I met was wonderful and warm and professional. My midwife was quite young and enthusiastic, and used to text me eg once when I asked her about which iron tablets to buy on a Friday night.

Now I'm pregnant again and at a different GP. I think they are professional but not so caring. I don't know if this is because it's a different surgery or because it's my second.

I think there are a lot of very jaded midwives out there but there are still a lot of extremely good and enthusiastic ones too. Same as with any job I guess.

Definitely ask to change if you're not happy with the one you get during delivery. I really, really wish I had asked to change mine - she was a hospital midwife I had not met before. She was unsympathetic and abrupt, and it later turned out made two important mistakes, probably down to lack of interest in me, that caused big issues for me further down the line post birth and next pregnancy. Unfortunately I had a precipitous labour and was in immense amounts of pain (no break in contractions) so no chance of fighting for another midwife, and DH had no idea whether the midwife was any good or not and so that was that.

When I think of all the lovely midwives I've seen since who would have been perfect for that birth (and almost certainly not made the mistakes this one did from talking to them) I could cry! So if you're not happy, push for somebody else for sure.

I don't think it's fair to ask OP 'what did you expect?' From the sound of it, greater compassion and empathy, and to inspire a bit more confidence in their medical knowledge rather than their ability to surf Google. I had the same experience with GP but they are expected to know everything about everything so definitely cut him some slack, and he sent me for an additional scan just in case needed which was helpful at the time.

I have SPD and midwife referred me to a physio, which was really helpful. The end result was still a list of exercises (same as you) but I expected that, as there's not a huge amount they can do.

I've been hugely impressed with a number of people I've met on the way - midwives, doctors and sonographers. There are always a few 'less good' ones, but that's the case in any profession.

still - I would just say: Ok. I'll discuss all the things that you don't have time to with the Supervisor of Midwives.

I do find it very off that they won't discuss place if birth til 38 weeks though as you should be provisionally booked in under one hospital's care

Yes - it's annoying that there are people out there like this. But I do think part of it is ensuring that you are treated as a equal. Not fobbed off like some kind og child. No success with the first person, keep moving up the line. Nicely and politely but firmly. I tend to find that any referral to the SOM focuses the mind