Midwives? are they all like this

[charliezack]

I had my first midwife appointment last week an to be frank it was awfull are they all like that?

She was due at 9am only to turn up at just gone 12. Didn't even bother to call to say she was running late . . . i had to change three other appointments and get family to pick up and pay for pets who were at the vets no apologies from her at all.

Now this is my first pregnancy so im very nervous but all she did was fill out a form say i needed a blood test and leave.

I don't know when or if im supposed to see her again weather i have to arrange it or if she will.

I have a major phobia of needles i never remember the actual injections or blood taking's i shake violently from top to bottom, cry and apparently try to run as i said i don't remember ever and i informed her of this yet she said i still needed it to find out my blood type . . . my doctors know this cant they just ask them rather than putting me and the baby through so much unnecessary stress?

Also i will admit i do have a small zoo at home but that doesn't give you the right to look down your nose at them or me.
She had very little details as to how each type would effect me apart from the usual cats are evil deadly things because of toxo and not to go near them, and to tell me my ferrets were a danger and that i shouldn't walk my dogs in case they knocked me over . . . i mean really ive done loads of research about my smaller mammals just in case and none of them are dangerous to me and none are unless i eat them raw, and my dogs? yes they are big breeds but they are trained you know! Im not going to have potentially dangerous animals around my child

I just want to find out really of they are all going to be like this?
Am i better off finding out all the information myself?

Most are lovely, Charlie. Sorry you had such an awful first appointment.

So sorry you've had such a bad experience charlie. I've seen 2 so far and both have been lovely, very professional and patient with my daft questions. Do you have an option to transfer to another midwife?

Not all midwives are like this. I had my booking in appt with the community midwife last week and she was lovely. Sounds like your midwife was quite rushed which might explain things a bit but that obviously doesn't excuse her rudeness.

On the blood test front its not just to determine blood type they also screen for HIV, Hepatitis, Immunity to Rubella and Haemoglobin levels. Its also important they know if your blood type is rhesus positive or negative.

Im not sure if i have that option im wondering about asking my doctor about it as shes wonderful i have a few other heath problems bad asthma and such and shes always helpfull with daft questions

My partner Zack has a cousin who's a midwife but she has only just passed her training i don't really know her even by sight but that means telling family when im not ready as it wouldn't be a proper appointment and would have to be at her's as shes terrified of dogs x

Just remembered, btw - the midwife who came round to my house (first and last time I'd met her) after DS1 was born. She lectured me about the state of my stitches then, having clocked the crisp box in the kitchen (we'd only been in the house a few months and still had some things packed up until rooms were sorted out properly - not easy to do, heavily pregnant) and lectured me about eating properly and not just eating crisps.

I'd say that 9/10 are genuinely great and supportive, though.

To be honest, my midwife has been exactly the same with time keeping. Was a real pin when you have driven home from work for an appointment, and then her not to show up!!!!

Not all are. The one i see at my gp's is so lovely. I broke down in tears at my first app as this dc (3) is unplanned but she took almost an hour to spend time with me going through things, it was so reassuring.
If you are'nt happy with her you are well within your rights to ask to see someone else x

I understand where you are coming from Charliezack.
At my first booking in appt she made 2 errors with my information. She then forgot to give me the exemption cert for prescriptions/dentists. When she did sent it, it had the incorrect Dr's surgery on it, and she phoned telling me to bin it and she's send another. After nearly a month a Royal Mail card was put through the door saying something was waiting for me at the depot and couldn't be delivered due to non-payment of postage. I then had to get a bus, go to the depot and pay the postage on the letter - which turned out to be the new exemption cert which had no stamp/frank. Then at my second scan they had put me down as agreeing to the combined test - when I hadn't! She tried to give me the blood test form, I had to tell her I wasn't having it.
Then for my first midwife appt at my local clinic, I was out when they phoned, so my Mum took the message. They gave a date (which was 2 weeks later than it should have been - for the amount of weeks I was pregnant), they were supposed to phone to confirm a time. They never did, I had to phone them in the end. When I went there, I saw a different midwife to the one who is supposed to be looking after me. This is my first pregnancy and I am very nervous - she was quite abrupt and clearly did not want to get into conversation. Just do what checks she had to and finish. I was told off for not providing a urine sample, but I had never been given a specimen bottle beforehand! I asked her about certain types of fish and she said to look it up on the internet. I asked about exercises, and she said "whatever feels comfortable". She couldn't be bothered to put my blood results forms into my folder and told me to file them. In fact I was glad to get out of there! I thought you were supposed to get to know your midwife and feel at ease and supported by her! It seems to me that once they have been in the job for a number of years their enthusiasm and compassion disappears. And I'm probably going to be seeing a different midwife again on my next appt.

With all the blunders that have been made and the apparent lack of interest - it makes you panic about the labour and wonder if they will actuallly have a bed for you and provide you with the support and pain relief you will need! I am scared stiff!

I had to see two midwives. The first one labeled my blood tests wrong and so i had to see another lady who got the dates wrong so my scan was booked far too late. I had to rearrange it. Both of them have mentioned i will be seeing a new woman later this month, she's supposedly going to be my midwife who has come back from maternity leave. What a mess around. It doesn't sound like you had much luck with yours either! Sorry to hear it.

I'm convinced my first mw Hated me on sight. Didn't book me a 12 week scan. Felt so in the dark. Talk directly to the hospital you're going to, maybe?

That's a shame, sounds like you have been really unlucky. Most are lovely, but like everything else in life I guess there's always someone who really shouldn't be in the job. I attend my local hospital for midwife appointments and you just see whoever's available on the team, however one of them was really horrible, I saw her at my booking in and overlooked it, but second time I got her last month and she had no time to listen and tried to shirk out of checking bp etc. I actually had to insist she check my urine as it had 3x previously shown up sugar. Also, I have a chronic condition which complicates my pregnancy, but she just dismissed my concerns. I was going to overlook it again, but left thinking I really hope I don't have to see her again and my DH was really angry about how I'd been treated. Anyway, to cut a long story short, if you're not happy with the treatment you're receiving, complain! I called the hospital and spoke to a superior who took it very seriously, has spoken to the midwife concerned and I no longer have to see her.

Just remember, it is your body, your baby and a very special (yet sometimes worrying) time in your life, therefore you need supportive people around you. Anyone that makes you feel bad is not worth the effort and you do not have to put up with it. Wishing you all the best.x

Sounds likely didn't have a great one, some can be very lovely though, so I hope you get a better experience for the rest of your pregnancy.
Just one thing about timekeeping on home visits - once you've had your little one you may understand that this is one area where it can be difficult to stick to a timetable. I remember having the baby blues, a baby that was underweight and wouldn't latch, infected stitches and stress from unhelpful family all leading to a meltdown on about day 4/5 and the midwives were with me for much longer than their allotted time to help me get back on track. Sometimes they will be dealing with much more life threatening scenarios than this one. I really appreciated on future visits why they can turn up at any time rather than a fixed time. Can you imagine if they are running late, they would need to search through the paper notes of every other lady they might see that day to make rearranging phone calls which could delay them even more. I am a real stickler for timekeeping but I do think this is one group that quite rightly can't know how that day's schedule might turn out.

Thanks for all the reply's darlings,

She posted my file through the door the other day while i was at work, through the cat flap so i was very lucky that my younger dog, still a pup really, didn't decide it would make a good chew toy like everything else he fancy's or the kittens using it as a litter tray

In my first appointment i mentioned to her that mornings for appointments were a no go no matter what and gave her my work rota for the next month. Apparently shes booked me in for blood tests on a work day and in the morning . . . unless they come to the office that's a no no

Shes also told me via the phone that she is only my midwife for the next few month as they work a 6 month rotation just wanted to ask if anyone from the mainland had something similar as i've lived on the isle of wight now for 3 years and find their medical system a bit on the strange side

Sorry guys this ones more of a vent

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