Just support

[Cally123]

Hi ladies,

I am 13 weeks pregnant with my first and really ready to leave my partner. Before we got pregnant I was very happy but right now I don't think I have ever been so miserable. He's so unsupportive rude and selfish at first it used to annoy me but now I find myself crying most days because of how unhappy I am.

He's constantly putting me down, never seems to support me or my choices and is just generally selfish as if only him and his problems matter. Hes made me completely distance myself from my family by almost creating problems in his head with them so we didn't speak or see them often so I feel as though I don't have my family. He's also very controlling and sometimes results in him being violent.

But truth be told I'm petrified. I don't know how I will cope by myself. Just need some support and this site has been brilliant for it so far. Any single mums out there that have managed and are a lot better off?

As cruel as it sounds beginning to question whether having this baby is even the right thing to do. I know I would never be able to have an abortion but possibly looking into adoption I don't know? :( also I'm terrible with loneliness and fear I will just end up going back to him constantly.

Please help..

Oh sweetie. Is there any chance you can see your folks or speak to them? If your behaviour has changed because of your partner they will be aware of why. It happened with my ex and they welcomed me back with open arms.
Can you get some time without him with friends?

I know it's easy for me to say because I'm not in your situation, but you would be 100x better off on your own. All your partner is doing is dragging you down and making you feel like you aren't strong enough to do this. Without his influence I'm sure you would feel much more confident.

Without his controlling you could have the support of your family back, and bring this baby into a much better situation. There are endless numbers of single mums out there who have done an incredible job, and you could be one of them :)

You sound intelligent and caring, and there is nothing that could possibly justify how your partner is treating you. I really hope you find the strength and faith in yourself to leave. X

oh no hun you sound like you need a hug so sending you one.xx

I remember your other post about him annoying you (I joined in as a fellow sufferer of 20 second deodorant spraying amd bouncy castle matresses!) is this your first baby for both of you? Sounds like he needs a proper kick up the bum - perhaps he is in bloke denial where he is refusing to allow a baby to change his way of being? Could you go for counselling together?

How about you go to your parents for some support and a bit of thinking space and a mum hug?

So sorry you are going through this. Would really recommend talking to your mum if you can. She will probably already know there is something wrong.
But in the meantime I am sending you big hugs and please come on here any time you need to talk or need support. Mumsnetters are fantastic at giving support xxx