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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Gone off sex

13 replies

K8eee · 18/08/2013 19:21

I'm 8 weeks pg tomorrow but since I have found out poor dh hasn't had a look in with sex. I've gone right off of it. It's not I don't find him attractive anymore, but the thought of being rammed or giving him oral seems too much effort. I'm exhausted all the time, and very nauseas. He jokes around but deep down I know he feels a bit crap that I'm not all over him or wanting it spontaneously as before when we were ttc. Anyone else in the same boat?

OP posts:

Trinpy · 18/08/2013 19:45

lol at being 'rammed'.

I think going off sex in the first trimester is very normal. We've dtd twice since I got my bfp 3 weeks ago. First time was awful. Second time was ok. Not really keen to try a third time! My dh has also made a few half-jokey comments about him not being attractive enough but I think he understands that I'm just too sore, crampy and exhausted at the moment. We still make time to be together and appreciate each other though.

I'm sure your dh can see how much you're suffering and that sex just isn't on the cards right now. You will get back to normal at some point. Lots of women enjoy sex again in the 2nd trimester apparantly - this is what I'm hoping for anyway!

Original poster

K8eee · 18/08/2013 19:51

Thanks trippy!

I hope so, I feel like a baron all I seem to be doing it sleeping, being sick, bloated or grazing on small amounts of food and complaining (dh would say I'm complaining anyway)

I feel awful saying this but I don't think he realises how knackering the first trimester is. He has a child with an ex but didn't go through the whole pg living together so it's new to him as well as me, but his answer is "it's not even that big, you're not that pregnant!" To which I want to smack him

OP posts:

ilikebaking · 18/08/2013 20:37

26+4 and we have DTD twice. No sex drive whatsoever. In fact, the very thought makes me want to cry.
I was hoping to have a second trimester surge, but am getting near the end and we have DTD once this trimester and once in the first. So, DH gets another go in the thirdtrimester, LOL!!
Dont want to worry you, but you should be prepared for your sex drive not coming back. Having said that you could become super randy and have your DH hiding in cupboards from you!

Original poster

K8eee · 18/08/2013 20:51

Dh thinks he doesn't get enough as it is let alone once every trimester jeeze I'd have a right miserable dh.

OP posts:

syl1985 · 19/08/2013 01:21

It's normal, some ladies have no interested anymore while being pregnant and others can't get enough of it. Yet others sex lives are barely effected by a pregnancy.

Try not to worry to much about it. He also wanted a baby with you, did he not? These things happen.
Being pregnant isn't only for the us, our men will also have to make sacrifices.

Try not to worry to much about it. You're having a baby and it looks like he is understanding of the situation.

Same as you lost something. When you're not looking for it, you'll find it. On one evening and you're together on the sofa watching a nice movie.

You'll be like: 'Found it'!!!!

PeriodMath · 19/08/2013 05:21

We've had sex maybe twice this pregnancy - and I'm 36 weeks! Just not interested at all.

MrsMangoBiscuit · 19/08/2013 05:41

First pregnancy I just didn't want to know. Felt rough, exhausted, and in pain. We did make sure we still had plently of close time, but it was just cuddles, and DH trying to rub away my lower back ache!

This time round, totally different. I'm very much interested, but I'm getting bad leg cramps and mild SPD. We've tried, but the logistics are not in our favour! Last time I got so cross that when my leg started cramping again I burst into floods of hormonal tears and poor DH was trying to comfort me without laughing! Really killed the mood!

You might feel different in the second trimester, you might not, both perfectly normal. As syl1985 says, try not to worry about it.

gotadifferentnamenow · 19/08/2013 06:03

Never came back for me (nor after the birth - 16mths and counting). Hope it passes for you.

coffeewineandchocolate · 19/08/2013 06:26

It's preparation for after the birth. No way I had the energy or inclination for months post birth

HotSoupDumpling · 19/08/2013 07:59

You have to somehow get him to realise that although you don't look pregnant, the first three months are the worst. Pregnancy may not be an illness, but you are currently very ill! Would he be willing to read one of those jokey but helpful dad-to-be books? They are great for showing men what to expect (I.e. tired hormonal ladies and sometimes no sex!).

Andanotherthing123 · 19/08/2013 08:42

On pregnancy no. 2 DH and I decided not to worry about frequency of sex, especially after the baby was born. We both put ourselves under pressure after DC1 and I worried my head off about not wanting it, which I later realised was putting me off having it at all...am defo not a trimester 1 sex person, but I usually perk up a bit tri 2, then my hips fall apart tri 3 so sex is off the agenda again. If you can talk now and prepare yourselves for the fact that sex may well be an unpredictable affair during pregnancy/for a while after baby's born, I think you'll both find you actually enjoy it more when it does happen.

I thought what Syl1985 said about men having to make sacrifices was very good - men having less sex compared to our nausea, fatigue, tummy growing, then birth does seem like the easier end of the deal to bear!!

Nagoo · 19/08/2013 08:52

Wait until you are 7 days over and ordering him to do it to induce you

AngelaOxford · 19/08/2013 11:32

Nagoo, well said!! ;)

During my first pregnancy, we only had sex 5 times in 9 months, because I had awful nausea even by the end of my second trimester and then by 36 weeks I was simply too big for it, didn't feel attractive at all and it also was summer and I couldn't bear the heat!

During this pregnancy, I also had bad nausea and no sex drive at all during the first two trimesters, but since I was entered my third trimester I want to have sex every day! He was avoiding it at the beginning out of fear of causing problems, but I literally attacked him the next day so he didn't have the option of declining!

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