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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

late miscarriage

25 replies

crimsontrue · 17/08/2013 15:01

could someone help me......a friend of mine has told me that she lost her baby last night but she was 18/22 weeks on......would she not need to deliver or have d&c........

OP posts:
TallulahBetty · 17/08/2013 15:17

I suspect she would be induced and have to give birth, i may he wrong though. Hope your friend is ok Thanks

Original poster
crimsontrue · 17/08/2013 15:21

that's what I thought but she is up and out today, doesn't seem right.....we have thought that she lost the baby weeks ago but kept the dad in the dark but now as it is coming up too when 20 week scan should have been she has had to come clean. but she is causing problems for the dad and his new relationship.......I don't know what to do

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 17/08/2013 15:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
crimsontrue · 17/08/2013 15:25

don't think she is as far as that at least 18 could be 20 xx

OP posts:
KirjavaTheCat · 17/08/2013 15:31

So do you think she was lying about being pregnant, or being pregnant for so long? Surely there was a 12 week scan?

Original poster
crimsontrue · 17/08/2013 15:31

would she need to deliver from 18 weeks (confused)

OP posts:
Original poster
crimsontrue · 17/08/2013 15:33

she was def pregnant there was a 12 week scan but after that she never spoke about it and I am confused, worried about her ect

OP posts:
Original poster
crimsontrue · 17/08/2013 15:34

its more or less because it only happened last night

OP posts:
LittlePeaPod · 17/08/2013 15:36

It would depend when the baby passed away. Baby could have been alright at 12 week scan but then passed away after and she may not have been away till now.. No one knows. But if baby passed at 12/13 weeks the a d&c may not be required. My SIL lost her second baby just after 13 weeks and she did need a d&c. Baby passed naturally and she was only given paracetamol for the pain.. No one knows what has happen. I hope she is alright. It's devastating to lose a baby like this. I had a mc and it still hurts to think about it now..

TallulahBetty · 17/08/2013 15:36

Perhaps she's not been induced yet? Or you mean she's saying she's had the baby and now out of hospital?

LittlePeaPod · 17/08/2013 15:38

By the way Op when my SIL and I mc we both carried on as normal even through the shock and pain. No one knows how people react to losing a child via mc and its unfair to judge her because she is out and about today.

Original poster
crimsontrue · 17/08/2013 15:39

she was at hospital last week and got told sex and all and it was fine so it didn't pass at 12/13 weeks she only lost it last night. I needed a d&c when I missed at 7 weeks. but to be so far on

OP posts:
LittlePeaPod · 17/08/2013 15:40

Sorry my SIL did not need a d&c when she lost the baby at 13 weeks...

Original poster
crimsontrue · 17/08/2013 15:40

I am not judging her at all I am worried about her......

OP posts:
KirjavaTheCat · 17/08/2013 15:41

My friend lost a baby at 18 weeks, and gave birth to a baby. It wasn't a case of just bleeding, if that's what you're trying to ask. There's a tiny baby at 18 weeks.

Tbh OP I think you should be questioning less and supporting your friend a bit more. If you have doubts that she's telling the whole truth, she may have her reasons for keeping some information to herself. You need to be there for her if she's any friend at all.

LittlePeaPod · 17/08/2013 15:43

I lost my baby at 7 weeks and I didn't need a d&c. People are different and I thinks it's bang out of order for her to be getting slated like this when she has mc a child. Have some empathy for the girl and the pain she must be going through.. I can't believe she is been judged like this when she has suffered a mc. Why are you so interested in her mc anyway?

Original poster
crimsontrue · 17/08/2013 15:44

I am there for her she knows that but I don't want to upset her which is why I am trying to find out things so I can see what to do next how to approach her ect she is a hard nut to crack

OP posts:
KirjavaTheCat · 17/08/2013 15:48

but she is causing problems for the dad and his new relationship.......I don't know what to do

You do nothing, it's irrelevant! She just lost her baby! She'd be one sick individual to make things up of this scale to mess with an ex. That's not what good friends think of their friends.

Original poster
crimsontrue · 17/08/2013 15:48

I thought this was a page for advice I am worried about her didn't expect to get abuse

OP posts:
LittlePeaPod · 17/08/2013 15:48

Instead of questioning when she lost the baby why not just be there when she needs you and support her when she crys or talks or not talk... Stop doubting what she tells you and just be a friend by been there for her at this devastating time.

Coconutty · 17/08/2013 15:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittlePeaPod · 17/08/2013 15:54

I think the reason you are getting this reaction is because your comments make a women who has just suffered a mc out to maybe been deceitful about the mc because of her ex. If she's you friend then just be a friend and support her without doubting her.

Original poster
crimsontrue · 17/08/2013 16:26

no I am not the new gf as you put it,

OP posts:
dramajustfollowsme · 17/08/2013 16:52

I lost my baby at 21 weeks, was induced, delivered and left a few hours later.
I think the way you put it was extremely thoughtless. It is a horrendous thing to go through and she may well be in complete shock. Sad

TeaAndANatter · 17/08/2013 17:09

Sorry that you feel abused, poster, but to be honest it sounded like you were trying to find evidence that she'd lied about her pregnancy or miscarriage. The phrases 'come clean', and 'doesn't seem right' aren't ones I'd expect to hear from a friend, nor was the trying to find out whether she would have had to go through a delivery, so I guess that's what threw people.

If you want to support her, I'd recommend showing her the miscarriage association website. They're very good indeed.

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