MMC at 12 week scan

[Mummytobe81]

I found out yesterday I miscarried at 9 weeks. I'm
Distraught. Having stopped crying since. DP was fab yesterday. Today I've been vile and we've rowed loads. I can't cope. Operation on Monday.

So sorry to hear your sad news. This happened to me last summer and it was a really upsetting and stressful time. Try not to put any additional pressure on yourself, allow yourself to feel sad and upset and maybe look for some support from the Miscarriage Association: www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

Good luck with operation

So sorry for your loss - it's unfortunately very normal to go through lots of different emotions as you and DP grieve. You do need to take time to get over this, don't think it's something that you ought to "bounce back" from. Equally your DP will also be grieving in his way. Best to try to talk about how you are both feeling and do ask your GP about grief counselling if you feel you might need it.

Hope everything is physically sorted out quickly for you on Monday

So sorry for your loss. I went through the same thing earlier this year, also found at 12 week scan. I had ERPC (surgical management) which physically was fine, and for me was by far the right way to manage it - painless and over quickly. Meant I could concentrate on dealing with the emotional side of it.

In the Body and Soul section of mumsnet there is a section for miscarriage/pregnancy loss. When you feel ready, there is an amazing support network there for you. They were an absolute lifeline for me when I was processing what had happened.

Thank you for your kind words and support. He is very much grieving too but yesterday I was very angry and took it out on him. Today I'm going for bloods ready for the ERPC on Monday. I definitely feel this is for me as I don't think I could sit around waiting. Going to see my mum today for a hug and support. The thought of trying again feels very scary.

It is scary, but you will know when the time feels right for you. Most early pregnancy units will offer you early scans when you are pregnant again so you will be able to have some sort of reassurance - I only had 1 period after the ERPC and conceived again that cycle despite having taken a lot longer to fall pregnant with the baby I lost. You will know when the time feels right for you to start again

The same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago...4 days before my wedding!! I was lucky to have something else to focus on but it was still very hard to process what had happened. I find the hardest thing was that I felt very pregnant right up until my scan. DH told me that proved what a good mum I will be when the time is right as my body was trying so hard to look after the little bean even though it wasn't to be. I know he was trying to make me feel better, but actually it really worked - it kind of made sense of my body behaving so pregnantly if you see what I mean? Anyway, everyone reacts differently to grief, and maybe having a row with your DP will help you both release some tension. It can be very cathartic... Just make sure you make it right when you have both calmed down. Remember there are lots of us who empathise with what you are going through and be kind to yourself. I certainly found erpc was the way to go for me. Rest up afterwards though! Thinking of you x

Thank you. We spent a lovely day together and booked a weekend away next weekend. DP understood why I was angry and has been really supportive. He is really grieving and I've got to help him too. Kasareem - that's so sad it happened just before your wedding - your DH sounds lovely putting it in that way. I'm sure we will get through this. - just Monday to get through. Thanks for your support x

Glad to hear you are making plans to look forward to next weekend! Sounds like you have a great relationship and you will get through it together. It's hard but we're already feeling so much better just 2 weeks on so you will get there too. Getting the erpc over with on Monday will make a huge difference. Good luck for Monday and the future! xx

Did you have preg symptomns still morning sickness etc any idea something was wrong? So sorry for your loss I had a miscarriage few months ago was a horrible time

Yes still had quite a few symptoms. Sore boobs etc. I was nervous for the scan but thought it would be ok. Everyone has been so lovely and supportive. I managed to sleep last night for a few hours which has really helped xx

ERPC all went ok. In a bit of discomfort so just resting today and enjoying being looked after by DP had s maccies and a pic n mix last night! X

Glad it was ok. Try to take it easy for a few days - I barely bled after mine but tried to get on with normal life and apparently overdid it - started bleeding a fair bit nearly a week later, and it went on for 2.5 weeks (although only heavy for 3 days or so).

Just read this and i'm so sorry.

I hope you are recovering well - take it easy xx

I'm so sorry OP - I've had 2 MMCs (1st pregnancy MMC, 2nd pregnancy successful, 3rd pregnancy MMC, 4th pregnancy - currently 29 weeks) and can sympathise....

I know how shocking and devastating it is. I was a wreck after my first, a zombie really for 2-3 months. I grieved and grieved, then got angry and finally calmed down and decided that what will be will be. The second time I had my DD to look after so couldn't grieve as much therefore it took me a bit longer to get over.

I had an ERPC and bled for a couple of weeks both times - the first time it took me 7-8 weeks to get my period and got pregnant the 2nd month of trying. The second time I got my period after 4 weeks but it took me 4 months to get pregnant again.

I was also told by DH and family that this means that my body is good at keeping the baby - which is one way of looking at it!

I hope you're being looked after. Don't give up hope, try again when ready and chances are everything will go well next time! All the best. x