Help, 14 weeks and feel so low

[Emmlan]

Hi
I'm 14 weeks pregnant and I'm really worried about my mental health.
I have a 9 year old and a 3 year old.
With the 3 year old I suffered post natal depression. I didn't bond with her at all in the beginning. After 8 months I decided enough was enough and went to GP. I was put on Citalopram.
I came off the Citalopram about 6 months ago as I felt well and I weaned myself off them over a couple of months.
Now, I recognise the same feelings are coming back. I'm evil to my husband, I cry, I'm just so fed up and scared that I won't bond with this baby either. I hate being pregnant, yet I loved my first pregnancy.
I'm trying to give up smoking and I'm stressing over that, I just feel everything is against me.
I'm worried that if they put me on antidepressants the risk to the baby, but not sure my marriage will last the next 6 months without something
Thank you for listening to me

First of all, you need to talk this through with either your GP or MW. I'm 32 wks and have been taking citalopram throughout my pregnancy. Only 10mg but it really is helping. I'm prone to bad panic attacks and obsessive thoughts and before I got pregnant, I discussed all my options carefully with my Dr. I felt that any risks citalopram may pose to the baby were completely outweighed by the benefits.

I, like you, was petrified that maybe I would be more prone to post natal depression and the thought of having a panic attack whilst pregnant terrifies me!

Baby is developing really well and out of everything I've worried about during this pregnancy, taking citalopram hasn't even crossed my mind.

I hope that helps a bit! It's a tough time hormonally anyway, but the added strain of a mental illness can be terrifying. As I said, talk through your options with someone and I hope you get the help you need.

That sounds really hard for you. Get yourself straight to your GP (being bossy here as I believe it's required!), and tell him/her that you feel grim. Completely agree that the benefits to you and baby of your mental health feeling more stable outweighs any small potential problems with being on appropriate meds (obv these need to be prescribed by your GP knowing of the pregnancy so you get the right stuff). I had horrible pre-natal depression with DC1, and wish I had been less worried about drugs and babies and stigma, and not doing it all perfectly, and gone and got help. Thinking of you x

You poor thing! Def go back to the Doctor and get back on the anti-depressants if need be. Ante-natal depression is really common and you don't have to just put up with it. Hope you get the help you need. xxx

Thank you for your replies.
We have been away for a couple of days and I feel better being out of the house, but I know I need to get this sorted.
If I did start taking the citalopram again does anyone know the possible side effects on the baby.
There was a documentary on tv a bit ago about a pregnant woman taking it and her baby had problems, I think it was autism.
I'm so scared that something bad could happen if I go on the meds again to the baby, but I'm also scared that I get the same feeling I had when my daughter was born, that i didn't feel like she was mine for a long time and this stopped me bonding with her.
I'm also getting really stressed about my smoking and I know I need to give up.
Thank you everyone x