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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Just discovered that I've miscatried

10 replies

JoniR · 12/08/2013 12:52

Has anyone got any advice on how I can cope? At the moment I think I'm in shock, can't stop shaking. When will I start to feel normal again?

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eurochick · 12/08/2013 12:54

Oh love. You need to grieve, but you will feel better. It will take as long as it takes. The miscarriage board (under Body and Soul) was a lot of help to me when I went though it.

Forgetfulmog · 12/08/2013 12:56

So sorry for you. How many weeks were you?

I mc'd at about 5 weeks & I don't think you ever really get over something like that - I remember crying when someone I knew announced their pregnancy 9 months after I'd mc'd.

You've lost your child essentially & you need to grieve so please take time to do so. Do you have a DP/RL support?

I do understand how you're feeling, it's horrible

Anniephant · 12/08/2013 12:59

I'm really sorry to hear that it's really awful news. It happened to me about 12 days ago. The first few days I was just in shock but after about 5 days I started to feel more normal but still upset but able to do day to day things. Everyone is different though.

Have you got someone to talk to?

Try and get some rest the whole experience is exhausting. Also on a practical level I took some iron tablets to counter the effect of blood loss which I think have helped a bit.

Original poster

JoniR · 12/08/2013 14:05

It died at 8 weeks. I discovered this morning at my 12 week scan. I've now got to make decisions on how to manage it. I would be grateful if anyone could let me know what their decisision was and how it progressed. I'm a little concerned as we had sex the last couple of nights and the midwife has said that might increase risk of infection.

I have DH with me, he was with me for scan and is just as crushed as I am. Best friend is coming over tonight so I have plenty of support.

OP posts:

HumphreyCobbler · 12/08/2013 14:08

I am so sorry. It is awful.

I have had two miscarriages and had medical management and surgical. I found the surgical option by far the least painful and traumatic, it was over very quickly. But I have no problem with GA, so it was the right decision for me.

eurochick · 12/08/2013 14:14

I mc'd naturally, but set myself a time limit - if it hadn't happened by then, I would have gone for an ERPC.

I was 8 weeks, but the embryo hadn't grown for a while and so was tiny. I didn't find it too bad. I had one day when I just wanted to be in bed with codeine and a hot water bottle, but otherwise I was well enough to go to work (desk job) and I wanted the distraction. I bled quite heavily for a few days and for two weeks in total. I was truly sick of sanitary towels by the end of it.

I have no idea if it made any difference, but as soon as I found out, I just wanted it all over asap, so I started "project eviction" - basically doing all the things you are not supposed to do when pregnant because they increase the risk of mc. So loads of strong coffee, beasting myself on really hardcore runs at max heartrate, etc. I started bleeding a couple of days into this.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 12/08/2013 16:07

Joni look here you will find help, support, advice, a shoulder to cry on and a sympathetic ear.
Time is the answer. or it was for me. Just take each day as it comes and let your emotions have free reign.

Poppykat1 · 12/08/2013 17:05

So sorry to hear your going through this.
I was exactly in your boat a few years ago! Went for 12 week scan but baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks!
I had a D&C the next day. Did not want to wait for nature to take its course as it would have just prolonged the agony!
That was the best option for me! Was in and out quickly and home a few hours later.

NotSoSuper · 12/08/2013 17:12

So sorry for your loss Joni. It is hard but give yourself time to grieve.
Same happened to me in March, I found out at my 12 week scan baby's ha stopped growing at 10 weeks. I had an erpc a week after my scan and although it was very upsetting I showed no signs of miscarrying naturally. I was only in hospital for 1 day and was only a little sore with some light bleeding afterwards. I don't think I was mentally strong enough to go through it naturally or have the medical management to be honest.
Take time to figure out the best way for you to go forward and be kind to yourself

Nadalsballs · 12/08/2013 17:57

Hi, you poor thing, what a shock! The same thing happened to me at my 12 week scan two years ago. I went for an erpc and it was all really straightforward, not much bleeding afterwards and no pain. It was the emotional healing that was hardest, I felt no one understood what I was going through.

I got so much support from the miscarriage threads on MN, you must look at them.

I was lucky, I conceived my lovely DD in the cycle following my erpc. Most of the ladies on my mc thread also conceived relatively quickly afterwards so please don't lose heart.

Thinking of you, please be kind to yourself whatever you choose.

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