Pregnant after mc and so scared

[Makqueen]

I didn't know where to post this.

I am 6 weeks pregnant today and I am terrified. I had a MMC in April, I had a private scan at 8 weeks, was told that the baby had a slow heart beat and was measuring 7 weeks. When I went for a repeat scan two weeks later it turned out it had died a few days after that first scan. I chose to wait for a natural miscarriage and it took 4 week and when it happened I almost died from complications.

Now I am terrified it will all happen again. I don't feel as awful as I did with that pregnancy. I have sore breasts, nausea is starting to set in as well as fatigue, but in that pregnancy, I felt ill from the off, just nit right, constant cramps and backache from the start.

I want to book a scan for next week, but I am terrified that I will be told it's all going wrong again.

I don't know how I got through the MMC, dh was a shit about it and there was so much stress. I think another one will finish me off.

I am so scared.

Sorry to hear you are feeling so anxious. I am in a very similar position and am also extremely scared! I had an earlier miscarriage a few months ago - more like 6 weeks. I felt just like you did - cramping and back ache right from the word go. I kept telling myself that some cramping is normal but looking back I think I knew it wasn't meant to be that bad.

Like you, in this pregnancy (exactly 6 weeks too) I have more normal pregnancy symptoms. Nausea, exhaustion and sore boobs. The odd crampy pain but not like last time. I'm taking that as a good sign. THe constant sickness has to be a good sign and I'm sure it is for you too.

I'm also considering paying for a private reassurance scan at around 9 weeks. I figure if something is wrong it is more likely to be before the 8/9 week mark, and I'd far rather know then than wait until 12/13 weeks for my regular scan. But I'm struggling with the cost issue and the fact that if everyone else can wait, so should I.

Am sure none of that helps you but you're not alone.

Thankyou, It's good to hear that someone else feels the same, I feel so alone sometimes.

I have an old friend who emailed me to say she's 8 weeks pregnant, they are so excited etc, can't wait for first scan. I keep thinking, god are you mad, you could find out anything at the 12 week scan - if I had waited, I would have found out about the MMC then, I didn't start bleeding until 13 weeks. I feel an awful cow for thinking that, I pray that it's all fine for her, but I feel so abnormal for thinking that way.

The way I felt last time wasn't normal. I was drained. I was sick, not pregnant. It didn't feel 'right' from the beginning. The cramps were awful and didn't stop, I've not had any this time.

I am thinking of having a scan at 7 weeks and one at 9, I would rather know asap if this one is going wrong as well.

I understand. I had a MMC at about 9 weeks. Within 3 months I was pregnant again & terrified of it happening again, questioning every symptom, twinge etc. Luckily I work in a scanning department so could ask a colleague for a reassurance scan if I needed to. The result of that pregnancy is now a 10 month old bouncing baby boy.

Have as many scans as you need (assuming you can afford it). It will make you relax assuming all is ok, and if the worst has happened, not having a scan unfortunately won't change that. I hope that makes sense it sounds so jumbled.

Please try not to worry too much, and enjoy your pregnancy (easier said than done I know). Try to focus on things that are different between the two pregnancies, no matter how small the difference, rather than the similarities.

Good luck & hope all goes well.

Hi, I also know how you're feeling with fears etc!
I had a mmc last year at 12w6d just 2 days before my scan was due, was horrendous but we coped!
It then took an agonising 6 months until I got caught again, we thought about early scans but decided against it, and the pregnancy ended with a complete mc at 9w1d in May of this year. again devastated but managed to cope much much better as I had an idea of what to expect.

I have just found out that I am now pregnant for the third time! 4w 5d, so early days, very happy but the negative thoughts just keep creeping in! have my 1st mw apt booked but still another 10days to wait, my GP says I should be entitled to an early scan via my EPU but if they won't I will strongly think about a private scan, I know things can still go wrong but it may ease the negativity a little which must be good!
There is a thread on here about early scanning which I found interesting....but still haven't decided! haha!

Good luck and I hope this pg is good for you!

Katatonic The EPU were shite the first time round. I have had huge issues with the NHS in the past so I deregistered and now I use a private GP. After I'd had the two private scans which confirmed the pregnancy had ended, I called my private GP who referred me to the EPU.

They threw a hissy fit when I got there saying as I didn't have an NHS GP I couldn't use the hospital. A terse call from my GP later set them right, but the attitude they had with me all the way through was appalling. I had to have two scans with them as they said private scans were usually 'inaccurate' (I'd gone to a very well known and respected Obstetrician for them with far better machines than they had) so I had to have two more, two weeks apart. It was hell.

I asked the dr if I could have a scan if I fell pregnant again, he laughed and said 'well, if the NHS isn't good enough for you, you'll have to pay unless you are losing one again and want to sit in A&E'.

(I'm not loaded btw, I had a horrific experience in my first pg 11 years ago so I have saved long and hard and gone without so much so I can go private not to have the same experience again as I ended up with PND.)

plokett1 Everything crossed for you.

so sorry for your loss

it is really hard.

we already had 4 boys when I had MC (11+5 and ERPC)
I had to wait for EDD (May 2009) to pass before I even considered TTC!
then I decided to go for it and got pg straight away.
I held my breath for the entire pg. it was draining to be that worried.
but I look at my 3 year old DS5 and I'm really glad I got brave!
he's gorgeous and healthy, in fact he was my biggest at birth (9lb 14)

we went on to have DD (again I was anxious, but less so) and now decided to go for baby number 7!
all the old feelings of being scared have already come back, but I'm trying to ignore them.

I hope you will be ok, there's no reason that you should have any problems, but all the chances of having a perfectly healthy baby!
I hope you will be able to enjoy your pg, I'm guessing good news at 12 week scan will help you to relax a bit.

all the best (hug)

Thankyou, Zing, I love hearing stories of successful pregnancies after MC. They give a lot of women so much hope.

I have had proper nausea and sickness over the past two days. I had HG with my DS - I am hoping that I won't be that bad, but I am taking it as a good sign.

I was so optimistic st the start of my last pregnancy as I'd had no problems with ds. I never imagined I would miscarry, how naive, looking back.