Worried how I'll cope with DC2

[PandamoniMum]

I recently found out I'm pregnant (7 weeks) with DC2 - DS1 is 22 months old and a bit of a handful (to put it mildly)! I'm feeling all sorts of confused - excited about being pregnant but terrified I won't be able to cope with a new baby plus the adorable, mischievous tinker that is DS1!

My last pregnancy wasn't bad compared to many but I had a difficult labour (induction, 31hr labour followed by emergency c-section). DS1 had colic and reflux so he screamed almost 24/7, never went to sleep unless he was on me until 18 weeks, slept max 3 hrs in 24 (had permanent black circles under both of our eyes) and it's a time I look back on and still shudder. I also fought to breastfeed as I have many allergies and wanted to lower his risk of getting them but my milk production was low so he fed for 4-8 hrs at a time and I was always expressing from the other boob at the same time so not enjoyable at all. In fact I remember things only became more bareable when he reached about 15 months...

My fear is that I have a similar experience with DC2 and will have to go through it all with with a mischievous (very heavy handed) toddler who needs watching like a hawk too.

I'm hoping I'm not the only one who's had concerns like this - it would be great to hear from other mums about how you're feeling or how it all turned out!

Thanks!

I'm in a very similar position! 7wks pg with a very lively 21month old. The pregnancy was very much wanted and planned but now that the exhaustion and sickness have kicked in, so have the nerves!

Good to hear from you notadoctor. I knew I couldn't be alone!

Am not too bad with preg symptoms at the mo but think they kicked in at about 8 weeks for me last time... Really hope you have some support around you at this time! I know I'll be counting on it when the fatigue takes hold!

Am up for some 'hand-holding' support if you are - be nice to keep in touch with someone who is at the same stage as me!

Hi there, DS1 was 20 months when i had DS2, and i had similar worries, as DS1 was pretty high maintenance, with eczema and developmental delays to worry about. I also struggled to feed him initally, low milk supply, slow to come in. But I wanted to reassure you that things were hard but ok; 2nd baby was a very different child, he was demanding but not a worry to me and that was a big help; maybe put it down to experience? Also, my body was different too, as my milk supply came in no problem and bf was much easier; my body had learnt i think! You will be fine, even if things are tough, and the nice thing about having babies close together is that they become buddies.
Do you have a good support network? That helps i guess! Also, being heavily pg with a toddler is quite hard, no denying it; you may find it a relief to have your newborn outside your body rather than inside after the last few weeks of pg!
Also bear in mind that your LO has a good few months left of your pg in which to grow up a bit; you may find him more manageable, or at least more independant by the time you have your baby. I'm 24 weeks, and i'm hoping to have at least my 3 year old out of nappies by november (big battle) not sure i'd cope with 3 in nappies!
Don't worry too much, it will be better than you think!

My DD was 26 months when DS was born. Though she was a great baby, except for sleeping - I'd had an awful labour. Actually got diagnosed with PTSD afterwards. Anyway! I spent most of my second pregnancy worrying. But, it's fine!
DS is a dream and I know it's stating the obvious, but a totally different character to dd. she's been lovely with him and its no where near as bad as I thought it would be, in terms of coping with two.
Congratulations on your pregnancy, enjoy it

Thanks Monkey and Lovelychops! I really appreciate the insider knowledge. Still terrified quite worried but good to know that bf may be easier next time and others with 'lively' toddlers manage it. Am trying to relax and not think about it too much as I can't change it so worrying makes no difference! (Deep breaths; and relax...)

I've just given birth to dc2 (2 yr gap) and my labour was much faster and easier this time, apparently that's common with 2nd babies.

Congratulations Beano! Glad to hear labour wasn't too bad this time! Am going to cling to the stats that No2 is quicker! Be good to hear how your DC1 is with the new baby and how they're coping with sharing the attention.

She's doing really well, loads better than I expected. Keeps going to give him cuddles, but I do have to watch her like a hawk in case she gets too rough or tries to feed him things. At night time she sometimes gets a bit upset crying his name out, but she is easily reassured. I keep trying to give her loads of cuddles and let her try and sit on me/maul me while I'm feeding him as I don't want her to hear 'get off' a lot because I'm with him. So not much personal space for a while!

At the moment he's sleeping so much that she can have a lot of attention in the day...we'll see what happens when that changes!

Hope things go well with your pregnancy - I am finding it much easier with a toddler and a newborn than being pregnant with a toddler, so if things get tough you can take heart from that too