if you have no family nearby, what did you / will you do about childcare cover for your child whilst you are in labour?

[TiredFeet]

have had my head in the sand a bit but am 6 months pregnant and really need to start thinking about this. Our families all live 100s of miles away except my sister, who is a good hour away and is a teacher so can't take leave at short notice (but will hopefully cover weekends if I ask her sweetly). DS has multiple allergies so I can't leave him with just anyone, and would be reluctant to leave him with friends who already have children as it is complicated keeping him safe (although nursery manage fine) and I'm not sure I trust any of our local friends without children (as they don't have any experience). He does at least have nursery 2.5 days a week, and we may be able to get him in for extra days at short notice (but we weren't able to when I was in hospital with hyperemesis...)

its starting to look like I will have to manage on my own in hospital unless my labour falls on a nursery day /weekend. I had an emergency caesarean last time so I am quite nervous about everything anyway. still waiting for an appointment with consultant midwife to discuss whether to have elcs / vbac and I hate it but the practicalities of having a planned elcs are very prominent, but I would prefer to feel I wasn't making a decision based on this really!

I would love to hear what other people do in this situation, when there is no family nearby

Could you look into hiring a doula to be your birth partner? Then if DP can be with you, great, if not you still have an advocate and support with you. Alternatively ring round local childminders, see if you could start him on 1 day a week there now with a view to them taking him when you go into labour? Sadly if you don't trust any of your friends to look after him, you are much more limited with your options.

Our friends are just either quite young /inexperienced with children, or have children themselves (and I think it is therefore too much to ask them to look after ds due to his multiple allergies). If he wasn't so allergic I think I would be more relaxed! The ones I could trust him with don't have the kind of jobs where they could take time off at short notice, or they live too far away

I couldn't afford childminder as well at the minute, need to be careful with money. How much does a doula normally cost? Need to be careful with money at the moment. I am pretty wary of the idea of a doula after a bad experience a friend had, but I guess it wouldn't do any harm to meet some and find out more.

I had an Elcs and therefore family came to visit timed to the planned date. We had only just emigrated so didn't have anyone here we could trust or was willing! Had I had any unplanned trips to hospital I would have been on my own.

Def look into Douala. Not helpful but my Mil had this issue when she had her 2nd and third children and coped on her own.

I am in the same situation, my DS will be 15 months when I have my second DS and I have no one to leave him with. We have decided to hire a nanny for the week before I have my c section (so he gets used to her) and then use her for the day and for a few weeks after until I am recovered. My DH is a contractor so can't afford to take too much time off work...

can your relatives not take a few days off around when you are due and come to visit to cover the period? Let's say your mum or MIL can do 4-4 days each? that's what we did although I would have trusted our neighbour to watch him for a few hours by which time MIL could have travelled up but to be honest I would have happily done the most part on my own if that meant I knew ds was In safe hands and happy with dp. we didn't really stress about it too much and didn't make any definite plans and I ended up going 2 weeks overdue and got the day booked for induction and so MIL spent 4 days until I got home with ds2

my mum may be able to workingonit but then if she uses her leave for that she wouldn't be able to come and help when dh goes back after paternity leave (and I may appreciate someone then if I end up having emcs again!), so its a possibility but part of me thinks it would 'waste' the precious few days she can spare of her leave. MIL is a teacher and no holidays fall anywhere close to due date sadly. No one in our family has a job where they can take leave without planning it ages in advance unfortunately. I suspect I may end up doing it on my own, it will probably fine, in fact I think it is more that DH would like to be there when the baby arrives.

sorry, I'm a bit waffly at the minute, bit tired - DS is sleeping through but my bladder isn't . It is interesting and helpful reading other suggestions/ what other people have done.

We didn't have any family close by so ds1 stayed with neighbours while I had ds2. He was 4 and knew the neighbours quite well, so wasn't bothered.
They weren't in when first went into labour so partner had to pick him up from nursery and bring him to hospital until we could get hold of them. Would have had to be on my own if not

I would probably go with a temporary helper and have my mum/MIL here to help after rather than "wasting" the help while in hospital too. I've also made a good friend since going out to playgroups with ds1. Do you not know anyone who you would trust to watch him for a few hrs. I think you also have to lower your expectations (not safety wise obviously) and just accept that one person available and willing might not be your first choice when it comes to entertaining your ds or they might not know your routine in and out but will be capable of providing a safe environment while you are giving birth

By "waste" I mean my mum could come down for even a week say and I wouldn't give birth in that time (and she has to book her leave several months in advance)

I think it might be different if it wasn't for his allergies, but it is a lot of reponsibility to ask someone to take on.

I think I am feeling quite emotional about it as no2 was a suprise and I wasn't really expecting to have any more so wasn't anticipating having to deal with all these issues! Plus having to get my head round the financial side of it too.

I'm currently in this situation; family all at the other end of the country, 39 weeks pg, friends all either on hols or working ft. We'll be fine if I go into Labour overnight or at the weekend!
Some of the old ladies at church have set up a phone tree though so if I'm stuck I ring Mrs A and she'll ring round until she finds someone to come and sit with ds for a couple of hours/until friend finishes work. Ds would love that as they'll just fill him with biscuits and tea

I am probably going to be in this situation too for my vbac2c in January. I am looking into getting a doula. My DH will have to stay with our older two if my labour progresses too quickly or if my mum is working.

If you get a referral letter from your midwife or doctor outlining your need for a doula based on no support, previous trauma from EMCS, potential VBAC or ELCS etc... You might qualify for the assessment for Doula UK to not have to pay. Or you could go with a trainee doula as they charge less, there are several near me that are qualified midwives, but just not finished doula training yet, worth looking into.

I am very likely to have this baby on my own. I have 3dc that need looking after but 1 has SN so i need 2 people to care for them. I have no family in London apart from my Mil who has terminal cancer. We have friends but not close enough to ask to care for all dc. None of them would be able to cope with ds.

I had planned a homebirth but that would make it harder as dp would have to take them all somewhere else so will end up using MLU though not ideal.

We don't have the money to pay for carers, nanny or doula. Its a relatively short length of time. I was oblivious to dp so Im not that worried...at the moment!