Stress at 34 weeks

[McNamechangey]

So far healthwise all has been well. But I'm under enormous stress and my heart won't stop pounding and I'm breathless no matter how I lie, sit or stand.

The stress is XH related and not going to go away anytime soon. I've got a big fight on my hands coming up and I need to be able to protect my existing dcs. But not at the expense of my unborn baby :(

I don't know what to do.

I've tried meditation, but even if I manage to get all the thoughts out of my head enough to relax, within five minutes of stopping my heart is pounding again.

I'm so anxious all the time. I tried to speak to family but they ended up being very odd towards me and picking arguments over nothing. Dh has been amazing, but I hate putting all this stress on him too.

I'm frightened.

Hi McNamechangey. I'm so sorry that you're going through so much stress at this time. I used to suffer from anxiety so I know how trapped it can make you feel.

Firstly, I think its really really good that you've recognised that this anxiety is there, because that helps in itself. You're absolutely right to put yours and your baby's health at the top of your agenda. Your DH sounds really supportive and that's wonderful- it's really hard for you knowing that you're stressing him out too, but you're in this together and its great you can share this with him. Meditation is a great tool and I'm a big fan, but it obviously isn't enough for you right now.

Have you considered seeking some counselling to help you deal with the stress and anxiety? It's something that really helped to give me some long term coping skills. I used to come away from each session feeling lighter and more able to deal with things happening around me. Your lovely DH might even want to think about it too if he's feeling similarly stressed out?

One route is to see your GP who might be able to refer you for some counselling (free) or if you have some spare cash you could find someone yourself (just get on google). You can also talk to your midwife who may be able to suggest some further sources of help, or support your request to the GP for counselling. I think given that your stress is affecting your physical health, the GP/midwife would be keen that you should be referred pretty quickly for some counselling.

I am also 34 weeks btw- good luck with it all and please do get yourself some extra support asap.

All the best, purple

Thank you purple. You are lovely. Dh wants to call the gp for me, but I think I can access some counselling though work.

I just can't imagine going to work for it helping with my anxiety.

I'm a coper. But I feel like I've stalled.

:(

Just want all of this to be over.

You're very welcome :) It's okay to stall-nobody copes all the time. Crack on with that counselling, however you access it. It sounds like the sooner the better and once the ball is rolling, you'll feel like you're doing something towards improving your situation. Is there anything stopping you from phoning HR right now?

I'd have to do it through my manager. I know this shouldn't affect anything, but I'm applying for a promotion. I don't want her to think I can't cope enough to do the job.

Hmm. Tricky one. It depends how she sees it I suppose- some people recognise that asking for help is actually a strength, not a weakness. But I get it if you don't want to test the waters! How about you give your GP a call then and take that step forwards?

I think she's more likely to worry that I wouldn't cope. Unfortunately gp has previously told me that because I have counselling available through work they wouldn't offer me free counselling.

I spoke to gp a couple of weeks ago about dealing with historical abuse by XH.

If you are physically up for it you could try some gentle exercise as well to help. I'm actually signed off with anxiety at the moment (21 weeks) and being outside and moving is the only thing that helps unlock that horrible feeling of panic in my chest. You sound like you are running on adrenalin at the moment and exercise helps bring that down.

The other thing you could try is whenever stressful thoughts come into your head to write them down and try and get them out that way. It can't solve real life problems but it will get them out of your head and onto paper.

Lady, I've got SPD too so I'm not as mobile as I'd like to be, but the writing idea is good. I've found that's helped before, just to get it all out.

I just want to be able to breathe and think clearly again, it feels like my brain wants to shut down and my body wants to go into overdrive.

I wish it would all go away.

Oh poor you.... how about some loud singing along to the radio or your favourite music when your mind gets full up and spinny? It's another good way to release that adrenalin and is a good distraction.

Thanks Lady, I'll give it a go.

I'm so very tired.