Shocked by conceiving DC2

[no1childminder]

Hi I have a DS who turned 1 this month. I always thought I'd like a 2.5/3yr age gap as I want to give my DS my undivided attention until he's old enough to understand what a baby is. But this month me and my DH had unprotected sex, just once, and it turns out it was bang on the right time! I'm happy, don't get me wrong! But I'm starting to feel a little guilty that my DS will only be 21mths. I basically would like reassurance that a 21mth age gap is fine and my DS won't feel left out once baby is here. I still see him as my baby and I can't believe he'll be a big brother in 8mths! Thankyou for reading.

It will be fine
DD was born when DS was 20 months old. The first year was tough, especially as DD was a Velcro baby, but they are now 3.7 and nearly 2 and the best of friends DS obviously has no memory of a time before she was born, which I think has been a really good thing for them, DS has never known anything but DD as a part of our family

Aw that bit about never knowing anything but the baby as part of the family is lovely! Thankyou so much.

There will be a planned 21 month gap between mine. I think you'll always see your dc1 as a baby but for me an almost 2 year age gap is ideal.

My friend has two girls just under 14 months apart - they get on fine, as does she bringing them up as a single mum since she and her H parted ways.

Congratulations!

I am exactly the same as you! DD is 10 months old and found out yesterday I'm expecting DC#2. We were the same only had unprotected sex once this month! There will be a 19 month age gap and I'm scared! Still in shock about it I think!

There's 17 months between my DS1 and DS2, first few months are hard but it does get easier. DS2 is 9 months old now; and its much better as he sleeps at night, naps well too. I found getting them to have lunchtime nap together (once in a routine) helped too.

Same story, but a long time ago now! I've an 16mth gap between my two, and had only just stopped breastfeeding ds and thought it would be OK to have a Christmas morning shag just over 13 years ago without worrying too much. We were both very shocked!

So, as far as the children are concerned it has been a great gap, after a really short period when dd was very little they were pretty much at the same stage and into the same things which has been great. They are very close to each other and really look out for each other (although they also fight of course!). I think (hope) this will last as they become adults.

For us as parents once dd hit two or so it was great, very little sibling rivalry (ds can't really remember a time without dd around, and was very independent anyway, so she didn't impact too much on his life) and we never had to entertain them too much, just listen in, giggle and then clear up the mess!

But the first year or so was very hard, partly because neither of us are baby people and it was a bit over whelming, and partly because I wasn't very kind to dh because I felt fed up with the children making too many demands on my body and no he wasn't getting a look in! So I would advise thinking about what help you can access and making sure that you and your husband really talk about the implications of having two little ones together and how you can manage both practically and emotionally.

I could have written nooka's post as well They are actually really hard to entertain when there is just one of them as they both mope around and ask for the other one!

Also agree with spacegirl about the naps.... Mine both had naps for the first year of DD's life and it was bliss

Thankyou everyone. You've all made me feel much better :-)