anyone else's partner turn into the biggest t*#t walking when your pregnant??

[lozza22]

This is third baby, was'nt planned and im having a hard time adjusting to idea of another baby and the fact it will be a risky pregnancy this time to top it off.

My partner of 18 years has been an idiot during both my last pregnancies, basically refusing to understand why i should be tired/emotional/stressed and generally just feeling pregnant.
And true to form he's acting his usual selfish self this time round as well. Example ; We just had a fall out cos hes just anounced he's off out again tomorrow night despite me being in work saturday and needing him to be there for the kids early sat morn and in a functioning state.
During the argument he dared to ask me why im acting so tired considering ive done nothing all day (except see to two demanding kids all day that is!) and bearing in mind im only 7ish wks and feel shattered anyway.
I obviously bit his head off, said stuff i did'nt mean and then got upset.
I know it seems daft im still with someone who acts like this but hes usually ok for most part, its me being pregnant that seems to warp his mind and he acts like a complete prat. Anyone else found this with their other halves or is it just me? :-(

Nope its not just you....I've got a useless lump here too. I hate him, really bloody hate him at the moment!

My (now ex) dp was the same. Complete arse from week 8-39. Went out several nights a week, all weekend, lay in his bed all day when he was unemployed leaving me to work nightshift full time and look after a 3yo. I was shattered and he just didn't understand it at all. I got no rest. He eventually found a job but his attitude never changed.

He had the cheek to tell me to go on a diet when I was 8 months pregnant because I complained my jeans didn't fit anymore. You can imagine how that argument ended.

Start doing nothing at all. No housework, cleaning or anything and when he starts asking questions let him know that you are doing nothing like he thinks you are. He will soon see how much you actually do.

Give him a boot up the backside and good luck.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

Lozza - congratulations on the pregnancy. I have 2dcs and each time my dh was utterly crap in most ways you could think of. I'm sorry you're going through this because it's horrible and unfair. Is it possible to get support from a friend or relative (I know that shouldn't be necessary but you need it from somewhere). I end up feeling so jealous when I see men caring for their pregnant wife or being lovely and kind to their partner and children (even had a twinge of it seeing William and Kate with their new baby which makes me feel like a complete bitch/saddo).

Really hope things improve for you. x

Yep and was first two times. But makes a surprisingly good birth partner and I know he'll get his act together a bit once the baby arrives.

Thanks for replies everyone, at least im not completely alone in this. There was a thread on here recently about the nice things partners do while we are pregnant and i honestly couldnt have added to it even if id dug deep, and i do envy the lucky ladies who commented on that thread!

Snap, ive not announced this pregnancy yet and trying to get thru till scan before i do so im hoping my mum will be a good support once i do although she still works full time and is a busy lady which makes practical help a bit hard.

Hector i love ypur suggestion cos i literally do every single bit of houswork there is, he does not lift a finger ever. Its always been this way and i long since accepted im wasting my time asking for a bit of help but he has never acknowledged what i do for the kids or in the home and thinks its easy. I also work part time so i am pretty busy most the time. When ive been in hospital on occasions ive come home to a complete shit tip. Sounds like u did right thing making your dp an ex, good on you.

Shelly you just about summed up my feelings right now!
Little, Only thing i can say on positive note is that he isnt too bad at being birth partner, but then all hes had to do is stand there.
If nothing else this rant has made me feel slightly better by getting it off my chest.:-$

im expecting dc3 and have given up hoping for any kind of sympathy. I don't even moan any more as I know there is no point so no you are not the only one good luck x

Honestly, why stay with this man? You don't have to. A man who does no housework at all is ABUSIVE. He is demonstrating that he considers you his inferior and his servant, because he has a penis and you don't.

You might find it encouraging and helpful just to do the research about where you would stand if you ended the relationship. Information is power: if you know that you could manage financially and that you would be able to remain in the family home with the DC it helps you decide what to do. If there are factors which mean you really couldn't manage without him living with you - given that he does so little in the way of domestic work/childcare there probably aren't any - then you could decide to stay in the marriage and get support elsewhere, but it's a pretty miserable way to live.

Goodness, glad I'm not the only one less than impressed by my DP's sympathy and involvement. He has days when he's very keen, and I know he really wants a baby, but he nags me to exercise, and is one of the keen ones on the "you're not ill, you're pregnant" thing. He does a few little things, and claims he tries to help out more around the house, but it really isn't what I expected! He really doesn't get it at all, it's very frustrating. He loves kids though, so I just hope he'll be better once it pops out!