Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

No sex while pregnant

39 replies

Ficidy · 25/07/2013 23:05

I could count on one hand the amount of times we've had sex since I got pregnant and I'm 37 weeks now. I spoke with my dh about it tonight and asked him if he thought we'd ever get back to 'normal'. He said that he thinks we definitely will, but that he's just not 'feeling the urge' at the moment. He doesn't know if it's to do with the baby. Did this happen to you? If so, how long did it take to get things back on track after the baby arrived?

I know I'm partly to blame because I'm not really in the mood, but I feel like my dh has gone off me and I'm worried for our sex life in the future.

OP posts:

urtwistingmymelonman · 28/07/2013 07:54

im actually envious in a way.
my oh has a massive sex drive and this hasn't changed.
im 22 weeks and my sex drive has plummeted.
id give anything to not be groped and pestered for sex at the moment.
seems like theres no happy medium!

AmandaCooper · 28/07/2013 08:32

This happened to us and I found it devastating at the time. I was worried that we'd never go back to a normal sex life and I felt very rejected. As soon as I'd had the baby, DH was back to normal. Now, sleep deprived and breastfeeding, I'm the one saying "not tonight!"

212VIP · 28/07/2013 08:54

It is a blip. Once sleep settles down again, after baby arrives, you'll re-discover each other.
It's perfectly normal.

Smilehappy · 28/07/2013 10:29

Another one in the same boat, DP and I always were very active in the bedroom, atleast once a day!! Usually more, But now I just can't be bothered, I'd much rather to just go to sleep! ATM we are at twice a week, (and that is a massive task in itself) I just worry our spark might have gone, but i am happy to see I am in the same boat as many others

meditrina · 28/07/2013 10:50

DH went off sex during PG. even though he knew it was illogical, he had a bad case of "the baby's watching us".

The key underlying issue is whether he is still affectionate in other ways. If he isn't, then it can be a bad indicator (seeing you as "mummy" not lover, or having difficulty with new identity as a family not a couple). That needs to be sorted out, not made excuses for. And there are excuses (too bulky in late PG, too soon after delivery, your libido affected by post-parturition and bf hormones). Those can all cause a hiatus in a healthy relationship. But that's not the same as a wider loss of interest if it manifests itself as a total lack of affectionate touch.

NotALemon · 28/07/2013 19:38

It's good to hear we're not alone! I have been enviously reading other posts about how people's libidos have increased in pregnancy, I couldn't be more opposite! 24 weeks and another wearer of the 'no nookie since conception' badge! We wanted to wait until after the 12 week scan to be safe, then once OH had seen the baby the idea of it really freaked him out, as although he knows he can't hurt the baby, he says it would feel weird knowing there was a little person in there! We're still very in love and tactile, which is reassuring, though I don't know how the man still finds me attractive wallowing in this heat! Cankles and sweaty fringes can't be a good look !

YourLeo · 23/05/2015 08:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheSweeper · 23/05/2015 08:15

Reported.

Blackandwhitecat3 · 23/05/2015 09:14

DH has always had stronger sex drive than me, and no surprise, with cramps, sore boobs and tiredness and fear of mc I would be more than happy to have a nice cuddle and pass out. We have DTD but it's not massively comfortable for me and orgasms are also a bit disappointing. Hope that changes!

Newtobecomingamum · 23/05/2015 17:38

First time no sex during whole pregnancy (I was really sick, exhausted and really not in the mood) hubby totally understood. Pregnant again now and same situation and we both respect the fact we don't really fancy it. It was nearly seven months after first baby until we made love again... But out of pure exhaustion etc. I think if you both are feeling the same then when the time is right for you both it will come naturally. There is always this pressure and thing about you should have a healthy sex life or there are issues etc... That is crap as my husband and I couldn't be stronger and we went without sex for over a year!! I plan on making all the sexy time up once baby 2 (final) has arrived and in an established routine... But I'm not going to put any pressure on myself x

Christelle2207 · 23/05/2015 19:38

We've had almost none in two pregnancies- first time it just hurt, second time neither of us really fancied it.
We did have some in between pregnancies but finding enough time/energy. Luckily dc2 only needed one shag to be conceived! We are hoping for more sex when they are both older

Roseybee10 · 23/05/2015 23:21

Hubby has been this way through both my pregnancies. Due to two early miscarriages he's been terrified poor luv.
Happy to say his advances are back to normal now baby is here both times lol. X

VaryCherry · 22/03/2021 18:39

@Ficidy

I know I'm partly to blame because I'm not really in the mood, but I feel like my dh has gone off me and I'm worried for our sex life in the future.

I had sex while pregnant. Gave daily Blowjobs to DH during all 4 of my pregnancies. After giving birth intercourse was a no zone for about a month, but continued to give blowjobs daily to DH.

Nesski · 22/03/2021 21:11

Honestly, my husband's sex drive is so high it's annoying, I look like a whale and he oddly finds me attractive still so we end up DTD once a week. I said he needs to get used to not getting any for a few months after baby is here though...

Flip

1 2