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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Do I really need to see a midwife?

22 replies

PrettyCandles · 09/06/2006 12:40

I've just discovered that in the bloody backwater to which we've moved you can only get antenatal appointments on Tuesday afternoons. Much bloody good that is to me, with dd still napping in the afternoons, and ds at school until 3.10.

I've had 2 perfectly normal pregnancies and births, good bp throughout, all my blood tests, scans etc have come out fine. Do I really need to see a midwife? I'm tempted to buy a blood pressure testing thingy and a pack of urine testing sticks and go it alone.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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NotQuiteCockney · 09/06/2006 12:45

You can't drop in with both kids after the school run?

It's good to get your fundal height or whatever it is checked. And I think checking your own BP is tricky, without training. (Although, from what I know, blood pressure changes tend to make you feel funny, one way or another.)

MamaG · 09/06/2006 12:47

If you explain your difficulties, they might see you at a different time - or maybe a different drs office could see you?

I'm in a backwater too, but they are quite accommodating.

I wouldn't want to go it alone, but I get quite anxious when pg and like to be reasurred! In other words, I'm a PITA

morningpaper · 09/06/2006 12:49

You don't need that many appointments, only once every few weeks

Surely you can pop in after the school run, or bung the sleepy one in the pram?

trinityrhino · 09/06/2006 12:51

i don't think it would be agood idea really, nut thats just me , I wouldn't.
I also only have anenantal clinics on a wed afternoon and my dd1 is at school till 2.45 and dd2 still sleeps in the sfterneoon but I'll be going to all antenatal apps whatever

lucykate · 09/06/2006 12:57

i had similar problem when i was working as it was quite a distance back to our gp's for the anti natal clinic as i worked so far away from home. they let me see the doctor instead of the midwife for check ups as i could get an appointment with him which was more convienient.

Original poster

PrettyCandles · 09/06/2006 12:58

I was offered a 3pm appointment, but when I asked if it could be ltaer because I had to pick ds up from school, I was told that they have to offer the appointments in strict time order - no gaps.

I explained my situation, and the response was "That's when we offer midwife appointments here". Mind you, I was talking to the GP receptionist (you have to book the appointments through her, even though the an clinic is somewhere else entirely). Maybe if I talk to the mw herself I'll get a bit more sense out of her.

I couldn't believe it when another mum at school, who had just had her 3rd, told me that the HV refused to do a home visit when the midwife handed her care over "because it was her 3rd child", although she'd had home visits with nos 1 and 2. How does that make it any easier for you to get to the clinic?

Get me back to London!

OP posts:

peachyClair · 09/06/2006 12:58

If you can't attend the clinics, they might either come to you or let you go to the nearest MW unit to be seen. If not, a GP can do the same things on request.

lucykate · 09/06/2006 13:00

if they offer appointments in time order, if you want a later one, the best thing to do is ring up mid morning on the day of the clinic and book in at the last minute

Original poster

PrettyCandles · 09/06/2006 13:02

It would take me an hour to walk to the an clinic (and longer as I get bigger) which will give dd a bit of a nap - but in this heat?! And towards the end they'll want to see me every week.

I might try to go via the GP, if I can't sort it out with the mw. Who, technically, I can't get to talk to until Tuesday pm!

OP posts:

YellowFeathers · 09/06/2006 13:03

PC,
I've been a bit poorly over the last few weeks and although I have my dh at home sometimes, I just call my MW on her mobile and they come to me. I have a list of about 6 MW's so there is always one to get hold of.
I'm sure if you spoke to them they would understand.

NotQuiteCockney · 09/06/2006 13:16

PC, that is resoundingly crap of them. Why on earth do they have to book the appointments in order? Sounds like somebody being lazy, and also assuming that pregnant ladies have nothing to do but hop along to the clinic at the time that's most convenient for someone else.

robin3 · 09/06/2006 13:19

What about your doc....they can do the basic feeling around your tummy and tests.

peachyClair · 09/06/2006 13:28

Actually, mine came to me- in the later stages (7 months on) it was policy for a while in Somerset, esp. for those who lived in villages as I did with ds2 and ds3 (with ds1 I had pre-eclmapsia so it was every other day at clinic)

cupcakes · 09/06/2006 13:34

PC - your doctors is exactly the same as mine. The time thing is beacuse some women take up more time than a regular slot depending on what their appointment involves. I would not recommned waiting till the day to try and book - you will only be told they are full. I'd phone the midwife directly and explain.
Maybe you could phone up each day till you get offered a late enough slot.
Whatever you do I don't think it is a great idea to just not go. Do you have a friend who can pikc up ds from school and look after him for half an hour?

mazzystar · 09/06/2006 13:36

These receptionists are a pain if they can only book appointments in order - she's just being idle and officious. Just tell her you can only attend after 3.30. They have a responsibility to you to make it possible for you to have antenatal care, and you have a right to it.

You may actually find, though that when you have your appointment you book the next one in there and then with the midwife, so you can get a time that is convenient for you.

mazzystar · 09/06/2006 13:37

I meant "as if"!

Laura032004 · 09/06/2006 13:48

My GP's surgery books appointments for the MW in time order as well. I just ring every few days until the appointments get late enough for me.

I've hardly had any this pg though - one at 12w to book in, and then every 4 weeks up until 36w. Now it's every two weeks until term.

As I'm having a HB though, three of those appts have been at home, so it's worth asking if they will do a home visit for you.

Original poster

PrettyCandles · 09/06/2006 14:13

We've only been here 3 months, and I'm just begining to get to know people. I don't have a particular friend whom I could ask to regularly pick up ds after school, and I so feel uneasy at the idea of having to ask people to look after him right now, especially as I'm more likely to really need that sort of help after no3 is born.

I'm sorely tempted by having a home birth, especially if it will make an appts easier. But of course the same problem applies: what to do about ds and dd?

Oh I was so miffed earlier - you know how emotional you can get during pregnancy! I'm sure if I talk to the mw/GP it can get sorted out.

Thanks for your words of advice and rationality (and sympathy). Doncha just love Mumsnet?!

OP posts:

fruitful · 09/06/2006 14:28

In my area you get home visits if you are planning a homebirth, otherwise you have to get to the clinic. I think next time I'll tell them I'm planning a homebirth. Hmm, that'll be a home-caesarean though - do you think they'll believe me?

If you do get a midwife to come and see you at home, make sure you ply her with very nice choccie biscuits and tea, to encourage her to do it again!

MeAndMyBoy · 09/06/2006 14:35

Ring the local hospital and get the phone number for the midwife team and talk to them directly.

I'm on my 2nd pg and the number of visits has dropped completely I think I will end up seeing the MW maybe 5 times in total. booked in at 12 weeks saw her at 16 weeks was then told there is a recommended 12 week gap before seeing me next and then it's every 6 weeks so you won't get many appointments I shouldn't think.

It's crap how un helpful AN appointments are - first time round it was alot easier cause you don't have other kids to deal with but they get more and more unhelpful. I only work 3 days a week and the AN clinic is pm on one of those days - so I have to cram 3 days work into 2 1/2days (I don't like leaving stuff undone not work pressuring me.)

Hope that one off the suggestions made my someone will be helpful for you :)

grumpyfrumpy · 09/06/2006 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peachyClair · 09/06/2006 15:06

Hope you don't me saying, but I know how you feel as we only moved here a year ago and we also don't really have anyone to ask. If a Mum asked me though- I'd feel really pleased to help, and would more than willingly do so (especially if it meant I got a cuddle with the baby afterwards ).

I have heard of people approaching the PTA also for help, though never done this myself. I do think people like to be helpful with newcomers and babies though.

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