In laws always saying I'm fat

[sweetiepie1979]

I'm 28 weeks with second dc. Dc1 is 2 exactly. I was about 6/7 pounds overweight when I got pregnant and I'm now about 11.3. I'm only 5'2 so I don't carry weight well and I'm pear shaped-not a good combo. My inlaws are always referring to my weight. Mil constantly reminds me she was in pre pregnancy jeans when she left hospital with her third boy(my husband) and when I was throwing up in second trimester she said that was good it was 15 mins after dinner and that meant baby got the goodness but I didn't get the fat! Weird! Yesterday fil greeted me with oh hello your looking like a fat round blob. I was devastated as on my way to a wedding in my Isabella Oliver dress and my glossy hair I'd spent ages on. He's a bit of a bastard so Im trying not to get too upset about it. When I go to DH family's house I think they give me smaller portions for dinner than everyone else and constantly watch what I eat. This was before pregnancy too. I feel like shit and I do look fat in everything. My confidence hasn't been great since I got married despite having a wonderful loving caring husband. And all this chat and feeling that I'm really fat is making me eat more crap. We have a family gathering in 4 weeks i font know how im going to handle it. Can I have some free counciling please......

My in laws think its appropriate to comment on my weight all the time. I'm a 10/12 so by no means big. She thinks she is a 20. We recently stayed at theirs and the amount of sweet fatty stuff they packed away after fatty meals was :-o. Yet they still feel the need to comment. Drives me nuts! Yes I'm a little bigger but I've had two babies in 16 months and I'm weighing less than pre pregnancy!

Tell them to fuck off. Insensitive twats

Rant over

They sound fucking horrid! Will your DH not have a word with them? He should be putting them right back in their box. My IL's are all massive fatties so virtually have the opposite problem here.

Your mil sounds like she has food issues and your fil is a cunt. Ignore both.

Given their age I think I'd go with feigning deafness and getting them to repeat things over and over or playing dumb, if they don't get the reaction they are after hopefully they will shut up.
(Assuming you don't have the confidence to explain you are a healthy weight for a preg lady and need to eat as you're growing their grandchild.)

(Our elderly neighbour (late 80's) stopped his car the other day to ask my OH, if he had brought me on the internet from the phlippens (sp?) and had he f*ed me yet? Pretend deafness seemed the only response really, and in my preg state my only repsonse was ffs I'm 8months preg, how fat do I look if I don't look preg? So gald they aren't my IL's)

Your DH needs to deal with this. If my parents were rude to my DH my feelings would be made most clear.

Failing that saucyjack's advice is very good.

Oh poor you, no advice really, just sympathies. I have a similar weight-police thing with my in laws (I am large, and have lost and gained weight various times since knowing them and they always have something to say about it - up or down).

I really understand about not having the balls to say something - I don't either. I think the crux of it is how your DH supports you; and also how you feel about it yourself. If you feel ok with becoming bigger with your pregnancy then it is easier to brush off their crappy remarks - even if it is just in your head - or to friends or on here.

Be reassured you are a good person, and would never be so shallow / un-amusing / rude or stupid to make these sorts of remarks to them - even if they deserved it.

I agree with people who say your DH needs to deal with it.

He needs to say he finds it totally unacceptable, feels embarrassed and hurt every time something is said and that his expectation is that he will never again hear them mention your weight or appearance.

I would not expect a five year old to be so insolent and rude without being told off.

Sounds like my Bil (bitch in law for those who don't know, lol). When she saw my DD scan photo she asked if i was carrying an elephant! How she came to that conclusion I don't know. Then when I was quite far on (about 7-8months??) we all went out for a meal. Then 'FIL' said I could get a dessert which I didn't even want because I was stuffed! And I don't know if there was a sly dig/comment, but he stuck up for me and said she's pregnant and can have a pudding if she wants. The atmosphere went awkward and I felt like crying! I didn't even want the freakin' ice cream in the first place!

If you don't put the b*tch in her place now you'll have it during and after pregnancy.

The other week we were at hers and she announced in front of everyone that my DD just 'fell out' when I gave birth to her. In front of everyone! Again, how she came to that conclusion I don't know, but by god one more dig from her like that and I'll just fly for her BIL or no BIL. She does not want to test my patience this time around, lol.

But yeah, I wouldn't stand for it. Do what the other user said and tell her/them how rude it is and just act shocked. All else fails just FREAK the EFF out, they won't do it again.

You simply must say something back.
Decide what and practice it over and in the mirror.
What horrific behaviour. I can assure you they wouldn't say that to me op (bolshy) they are only saying it as they get away with it do don't let them.