Looking for advice from anyone who's had two children under two

[Smallgreenone]

Ds will be 13 months when my next baby is born and just wondering if anyone has any good book recommendations for me on how to cope?!
Am panicking about how I'll manage to feed the newborn, get them both bathed and in bed, will they nap at the same time? Ds has naps in his buggy but that won't work will it when there's two?! Too many things going on in my brain, any tips to help me panic less are most welcome.

I had 11 months between son number 2 and 3 :) i love it, they sometimes nap together, it can be full on at times, they have a similar routine and now at 1 and 2 are starting to play together :) son number 4 is due in 6 weeks, so i'll have 3 under 3 :)

You will manage! The foirst few weeks and months will be exceedingly difficult, esopecially if your older one is clingy and th4e younger one is colicky, and you will wonder at times what the hell you are doing, but...it gets so much easier so quickly...

As to bathing and bedded etc, be prepared to lessen your standards. Toddlers and babies don't need to be bathed every single day so maybe do them on alternate days or both every other day.

Re naps, 17 months between my two (and a five year gap between DS1 and the two little ones) and I can count on one hand the numder of times they napped at the same time in DS2s foirst year of life. If you have a double buggy, no reason why your DS can't still nap in it.

Bedtimes, I would be feeding DS2 whilst reading DD a bedtime story if DH was working late. If he was at home, then he would take over with one of them.

Best tip, don't panic, and don't try and enforce a routine onto them; you will find your own routine in time. It took me about four months before I managed to get me DD and DS2 washed and dressed in the morning before leaving the house to take DS1 to school. I struggled, it has to be said, with my relaxation in standards, but we got there in the end, as will you!

Another tip is take any offers of help that come your way. Or if not all offers, do let people do stuff to help, or the offers will stop at the precise moment that you find that you need them!!

congrats on your pregnancy, by the way

i had 15 month gap smallgreenone and was recommended this book . Now they are older I'm so glad I had such a small gap as they are best of friends! I won't lie, it was hard for the first year or two, but once you've cone through it you will look back and laugh at the things you did like going on long aimless drives do that they would both sleep ( vowed I would never do things like tat beforehand !)

I'm not sure you need a book. You've got this.

Mine are 18 months apart. It was hard, but not awful. They're now 12 & 13 and spend most of their time ignoring each other and some of their time huddled over DD's ipad watching people fall off skateboards.

have 14 months between dd and twins. their birth coincided with cbeebies being introduced to my house...

with dd i hardly accepted any help after twins any and all help was always taken up on! (including lady who's husband came to buy dp's convertible - she did offer!)

main problem was being all night feeding and no chance of a lay in as dd was up and ready to play. we did try to share nap time - if they do sleep at the same time, forget housework, (those anti bac wipes are sooo handy) you should rest too. easy dinners or takeaways.

try and get out for daily walks, fresh air is awesome, send dp to supermarket or get it delivered.

i love the gap now they're 5 and nearly 4 but it was hard for a few months, as i say cbeebies is great, yep i know all the words to every song but it doesn't hurt and the babies never gave a crap about the mess. cats bum face people can fetch their own bloody tea and tidy if it bothers them that much.

congrats by the way! you'll be fine xxx

oh i second the routine btw - don't beat yourself up about having one just go with the flow, set bedtimes are not essential and bath times are whenever is convienient - preferably when someone else is there or take ds into the bathroom with you. They don't need to be daily.
get a decent double buggy.

My eldest 2 are 18 months apart. It was all quite some time ago now (they are 17 and 15 now) so I can't remember specific routines, but I do remember ds1 was a bad sleeper right up until ds2 came along. They shared a room and ds2 was a pretty good sleeper, so, totally unexpectedly, I went from being woken at least once, sometimes 3 times a night, to getting a full night's sleep very early on after ds2's birth.

The thing that made it easier for me, was that ds1 loved ds2 from the beginning and entertained him - even if it was at 5 in the morning! So ds2 never did that thing that ds1 did: wake up early and cry for attention. He instantly had his brother's.

They were very close most of their childhoods, even sitting together, arms around each other, in the same armchair, right up until secondary school. It is only recently that they have started leading separate lives and sniping at each other at every opportunity.

Don't worry about how you will manage. You just will.

Don't know of any books, i was too fucked to read anything

• Don't worry about being late for things

• If you can afford it, get a cleaner/gardener?.anyone

• lower your standards temporarily and buy ready meals, jars, pouches etc. Not for every meal, but sometimes cooking is too much.

• For a short time, it can be very intense and stressful, but when they get a little older you will be rewarded when they entertain each other. They can attend activities together.

• co sleep. I have 3 DC close in age, and there is no way we could address each of their sleep problems Supernanny style, it was ridiculous. One night I thought "fuck it !" and just let them sleep where they wanted, at least then the whole family got more hours of sleep. The older two aged 6 and 4 now happily sleep in their own beds, and the youngest, 3, is almost there.

smallgreenone you will soon adapt.

I have 11.5 months between ds2 and dd, and tbh, the only advice i can really think of, is just try and get through the day. Make sure youve got easy food in the house, easy to wear clothes that you can sleep in if you need to but are still ok for the mornings. I lived in black leggings and Tshirt dresses, so i didnt have to do ds1s school run in pyjamas ;)
Playpen was useful, and also get baby used to a bouncy chair. I had the baby bjorn one, which is more expensive than some, but really worth it, as it lasts till theyre two, and its much more bouncy than most, and they can bounce themselves in it when they get a little older.
Also I think ds2 spent a fair bit of time in one of those activity centres that they sit in, like a babywalker that doesnt walk. That was great for getting stuff done

Its a really tough age gap at the beginning if youre not mrs super organised, but it really really comes into its own once theyre a little older.
Mine are 5&6 now and completely adore each other. They are at the same stage for playing together, which is brilliant, because there is a 6 yr gap between ds1 and ds2 and while it was easier to manage at first, they dont have as much in common now theyre 12 and 6

Thank you! Your stories are encouraging. I know I'll have to chill out a bit on the routine front, its just ds has been so much happier and easier since he worked out napping and set his routine. I do able my mil nearby to help and we have a cleaner already, maybe she could come every day though (in my dreams!)

Congratulations on being pregnant with your second. My two were close in age too - 18 months apart. I didn't read any books for advice because I found books I read when I had my first just got me in a pickle and made me feel inadequate if I couldn't follow the advice.
But if advice is what you want, I'll just say this. Just follow the routine you have for your first as much as you can so he/she isn't disrupted and let the baby fit around that. The baby will know nothing different. Looking back, I can honestly say I didn't find it especially hard, it was just new and everything established itself naturally because there were no rules. Good luck and just enjoy it - and them - then you can't go wrong!