Initial joy at baby's arrival then dread

[SeriousStuff]

I've just been reading the wonderful thread about how you feel when you meet your baby for the first time - it's had me in tears!

What I worry about is what happens when they grow up. I have this awful feeling of not wanting to deal with teenagers, what if they end up hating me for some reason, what if I don't have the relationship I want with them? What if I enjoy the baby years so much, that I won't be able to cope with them becoming more distant and independent? I was a horrible teenager to my parents, and I still cringe when I think about the way I spoke to them or treated them.

I'm 27+3 today with DC1 so it's possibly just the hormones talking, but just wondered if anyone has any thoughts or experiences of this?

I had a really interesting conversation with a child psychologist when I was pregnant with dc1. I said that I thought I would be fine with the baby stage, but I didn't really know how to deal with older kids, so wasn't sure I would enjoy that stage. He basically said that it wouldn't matter because they would be my 7 year old and grown up with me, so I would know them inside out
Dc1 isn't 7 yet, but I completely understand what he was saying. It is totally different with your own children! I am still a bit grossed out by other children's snot and dribble, but somehow my own children's is fine!

I had a similar conversation with DH about this recently, about how I can't imagine being a parent of a teenager one day, and how I'll have no idea what to do! Much like the psychologist in the post above, DH pointed out that we won't just be given a random teenager one day, but that it will be our child with their own personality whom we will have known and loved from birth
I think imagining being a parent is just a bit daunting, as we have no idea what to expect - I can just about get my head around having a baby in a few months time, but thinking of that baby as a 2 year old, 5 year old or teenager is completely overwhelming! Thank goodness we only have to do one stage at a time

I totally get this feeling, but you grow with your baby. You can imagine having a newborn because he's growing with you now and you've seen him on scans etc. he won't be a teenager overnight, you'll both be older and of different mindsets than you are n

Oops.. Than you are now. Congratulations and good luck!

I think it is fine with your own because they are not just suddenly 15 years old!

I can remember looking at a friends toddler when pregnant and wondering what I would do with one of those But my babies just got older one day at a time, so they are only ever one day older than yesterday, one day different, one day more independent. So no big bang shock.

It might be that the big bangs are yet to come (my babies are only 2.5!), but it will all be fine because I love them and know them :)

Good luck!

Thank you all - what you say makes sense. I really can't wait for the initial stages and I guess once you're in, you're in it for the long haul and won't have time to think about it - the relationship will just grow.