Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

C section?

26 replies

HeffalumpTheFlump · 16/07/2013 12:17

I could really do with some advice.

Without going into details, I have been through some serious crap in my life and it has left me damaged in so many ways. I'm 27 weeks pg and am pretty sure that I want a c section. I have been trying to tell myself that I can cope with a vaginal birth, but the closer I get to it, the more I am filled with dread.

Is it too late to ask for one now? Has anyone here ever asked for a c section for mental health reasons?

Those of you who had c sections for any reason, was it awful? Did it affect you bonding with your baby at all? What was the section and recovery like? How long did you have to stay in hospital?

Any advice on c sections in general would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PetiteRaleuse · 16/07/2013 12:20

My ELCS was lovely (seriously, a very relaxed, positive experience) and recovery was a breeze after the first week or so. It didn't affect bonding or feeding at all except for some discomfort while getting used to finding comfortable positions. I stayed in hospital the night before the op then for three more nights. You do need to take it easy though for a good few weeks. I was driving after two weeks though with no issues. Others are less fortunate.

Original poster

HeffalumpTheFlump · 16/07/2013 12:23

Thank you so much petite, that's very reassuring.

OP posts:

feekerry · 16/07/2013 12:24

cant help with asking for one as mine was a emcs but have you spoken to your mw re your concerns?
re the actual c section mine was great, bonded with baby fine, bf very successfully from the start. was out of hospital after a couple of days but on my feet the same day.
was out and about within a week starting with short walks and driving and almost 100% fine by 3 weeks.
really had no issues with the actual op at all.
dh had to lift dd to me for a couple of weeks but that's about it really!
15 months on my scar is barely visable

Original poster

HeffalumpTheFlump · 16/07/2013 12:29

I'm seeing her next week and will be speaking to her then, I just hope its not too late. Thank you for telling me about your experience.

OP posts:

PetiteRaleuse · 16/07/2013 12:29

This thread is brilliant and should answer lots of your questions.

As far as requesting it, I was abroad, so I don't know what the policy would be in the UK, but prepare your arguements thoroughly.

PetiteRaleuse · 16/07/2013 12:30

It's not too late btw. Plenty of c sections are arranged quite late on for various reasons (not counting all the emergency sections)

Original poster

HeffalumpTheFlump · 16/07/2013 12:38

Thank you! Just clicked the link and the first response on there is so detailed its brilliant. And I really hope that you are right, the only bit I'm worried about is that I am going to have to fight to get one because it's not a medical reason, it's a mental health reason. I don't know how long that process takes.

OP posts:

Original poster

HeffalumpTheFlump · 16/07/2013 12:46

When you stay in for a couple of days afterwards, how much do they let your DH visit? I think I would be really scared if he wasn't around much.

OP posts:

Strix · 16/07/2013 12:49

I have had three sections (children now 10, 8, and 2). The first was an emergency. The second one I argued for a got it granted. The third I was hardly finished asking the question and the consultant turned the screen for me to choose my date.

was it awful? no

Did it affect you bonding with your baby at all? definitely not

What was the section and recovery like? it hursts to sit up for a few weeks. But, I understand the other way hurst to sit down.

How long did you have to stay in hospital? couple of days

Bring your own food to the hospital! And get arnica.

PetiteRaleuse · 16/07/2013 12:53

Again, I was abroad and DHs were allowed pretty much whenever. Maybe in the UK visiting hours are stricter. I would advise you to be very very clear with your MW about your fears, and don't let yourself be fobbed off with oh, everyone's frightened at first you'll be fine. Ask for an appointment with a consultant and explain why, very clearly. Prepare yourself some notes beforehand, or if you don't want to discuss it openly, write a letter for her to read first. Mental health reasons are as valid as others.

I hope someone with more relevant experience comes along soon.

Original poster

HeffalumpTheFlump · 16/07/2013 12:57

Thank you so much petite, you have been so helpful. My midwife knows my history and has been really supportive so far, so I think she will be on my side. I've also got the perinatal emotional well being team involved and I'm seeing them next Friday so will ask them to help too.

OP posts:

Beamae · 16/07/2013 12:58

Every hospital enforces it's own, different visiting rules. My husband was only allowed in for 3 hours in the morning and 3 in the evening.

You definitely aren't too late to ask for one. I am 31 weeks and have only just had my consultant appointment to discuss birth options. He said they won't decide until 36 weeks. My hospital aren't going to make me fight for one, as such, but have insisted on a referral to a VBAC clinic to see if they can convince me to have a natural birth. I am undecided, so am willing to see what they have to say. I am trying not to panic about it and am keeping an open mind.

With my previous c-section, I was in severe pain for the first day, uncomfortable pain the second day and then mildly tender for a bit. It isn't 6 weeks of agony.

BikeRunSki · 16/07/2013 12:58

Fear ofca vaginal birth is s recognised psychological fear. Inthink it is called tocophobia, and is generally considered to be a good reason for an elcs.

PetiteRaleuse · 16/07/2013 12:59

Looks like you shouldn't have an issue then. Best of luck with it. And congratulations, by the way.

BikeRunSki · 16/07/2013 13:00

Sorry, posted too soon. What I was trying to say, is that you are not the only person with these worries and you should speak to your mw or consultant.

pmgkt · 16/07/2013 13:01

Check visiting with the hospital but I imagine your mw can tell you that too. At the hospital I went to partners and other siblings were allowed in 9-9, anyone else was either lunch time ish or 7-8.30. I imagine most hospitals will be the same re partners

feekerry · 16/07/2013 13:08

my dh had to stick to the visiting times which were 9am-8pm that was for partners only and everyone else was 2pm till 8pm i think.midwives treated dh v well. he was allowed to wander the wards with dd and take her for short walks etc whilst i showered.
i had a shower the day after my section and it was fine

Original poster

HeffalumpTheFlump · 16/07/2013 13:10

Thanks again petite.

Beamea - that's really good to know, I was really worried that it should have been sorted ages ago. Good to hear its not weeks of agony too. I hope you get the birth that you want.

Bike - I have an appointment to see the obstetrician next week too, would he be the right person to talk to?

Pmgkt - I hope my hospital are like that re partners. I'm not fussed about other visitors, but don't want to be keeping DH away from his baby and I think I will really need him around.

OP posts:

Original poster

HeffalumpTheFlump · 16/07/2013 13:13

Feekeerry - 9-8 isn't bad at all. Thanks!

OP posts:

Isitme1 · 16/07/2013 13:16

Im sure they will do it for mental health reasons as I was offered one ( due any day!)
With ds1 I nearly died after having a very mismanaged birth plus other complications. The chance of that happening again are literally zilch as im at 1 of the best maternity hospitals in this region and what happened was rare. They could see the anxiety I had regarding birth and at first I was adamant I wanted a section. They offered it too but after a long hard think I refused as I wanted to be back to normal asap as I have ds too.
If you have anyone that can come with you and back you up it helps. I took mum as she was there at the birth (dh was away)
X

OddFrog · 16/07/2013 13:27

My emcs (breech and blood condition) was lovely. Very relaxed and I even used some hypno birthing techniques to keep calm and afterwards when I felt sick.

If you are clear and reasonable and tell them what you want, there really shouldn't be a problem. I hope it works out for you.

When you are going for your emcs, Decide what you want and ask for it! Write it down in a birth plan too. Get your birth partner to stand up for you when the time comes. For example, I wanted to see DS being born and asked for the screen to be lowered. DH had to remind the team as the almost forgot. We also requested that DS have his checks, vit k, etc at my side, rather than being taken to the ante-room. It was nice to be able to watch. Finally, I wanted skin to skin and to cuddle as I was being sewn up. Baby came straight to me and stayed there. I wanted to have him beside me on the ward so that I didn't need to wait for a mw to pass him when he needed me, so I asked for bed bumpers to co sleep.

Your birth, your choice. Be strong.

Original poster

HeffalumpTheFlump · 16/07/2013 13:45

Isitme - sorry to hear you had such a traumatic birth first time round, I really hope all goes well this time for you.

Oddfrog - thank you, I will make sure I have everything I need to say clear in my head before I speak to them. Also the choices you made for after your baby was born sound like exactly what I would want. My main fear would be that my experience of the first few days with our baby would be ruined by making this choice, but having the baby next to me like that and having as much skin to skin would make it feel much more normal I think. Thank you.

OP posts:

Original poster

HeffalumpTheFlump · 25/07/2013 20:14

Hiya, just wanted to say a massive thank you to all of you who gave me advice on this thread. I saw an obstetrician and my midwife today and they are happy for me to have the c section. I've been given lots of information and am going back in 4 weeks to confirm its 100% what I want and set the date. I can't thank you all enough for the support in this, your advice gave me the confidence to request the right sort of birth for me. I feel so excited about bringing my baby into the world now, you lot have really helped me, so thank you.

OP posts:

crazyhead · 25/07/2013 20:20

Good luck with it all. I had a EMCS and I wouldn't say my recovery was much different to the VBAC ladies I know. If you have a lot of past issues to content with, then I think the control of a section could be immensely helpful

OddFrog · 26/07/2013 21:23

Well done you! You're on track for a great birth experience, because you will be in control and you are making choices that are right for you and your baby. My top tip is that after the spinal/epidural, when they say to get your legs onto the table: move quickly that was my 'undignified' moment...

Stay focused on what you would like, be vocal and polite. Do ask if your birth partner can bring a camera into theatre. My DH had changed into scrubs and left everything in the changing room, so when they were trimming the cord, checking DS, etc the MW suggested he could take some photos, but he couldn't. Someone passed his old phone in and we have one grainy snap of our brand new baby.

Finally, we were really groggy for most of the afternoon while all the drugs wore off and when we were feeling more alert around visiting time, I wanted to try to bf a sleepy baby, but because family knew it was a planned section (I did mean to type elcs above, but damned autocorrect) they descended on the open ward and scuppered my chances. Be aware and protect your time and energy until you are ready to see people.

So pleased for you! All the best.

Flip

1 2