Anyone to back to work after 4 or 5 months maternity leave? (Or less?)

[Kelly1814]

Just that, really.

I live in acountry with 45 days paid maternity. 145 days allowed off in all, so around 4.5 months off.

Has anyone gone back to work after this length of time and if so can you share your good/bad experiences/thoughts? Thank you :)

Yep similar, we get 16 weeks unpaid where I live so people usually take a few weeks before and then are back after 3 months. As it's unpaid a lot of people go back even earlier.

I was lucky that I full I'm domestic lady (hesitant to call her a nanny although she had done childcare and first aid courses and had her own kids).

Flexible / part time work doesn't really exist here so I had to go back full time, but I did change my hours so I could be home at 430 and spend some time with DS.

On the plus side I was off for such a short time that there was no readjustment period and I was straight back into it, even finishing some projects I started when I left.

At home my DS got used to someone else quite quickly so there were no major issues there and him being at home meant I didn't have to worry about getting him up in the morning or what to do if he was sick.

Good luck, if its the norm where you live you just have to accept it, it's only when I come on here and read about people having a year off that I feel a bit gutted.

I went back to work when DD1 was 16 weeks, when she was 1 I had a massive breakdown due to stress, taking on too much too soon and it's only now she's 5 (and DD2 is 2) I'm dipping a toe back into the world of work.

Thanks all, this is so helpful.

Cosmos, childcare is v reasonable where I am too ( are you in the Middle East by any chance?) so I think we may go down this route. Like you say good to not have to worry about childcare etc when sick if you have permanent help.

Noisy toys, sorry to hear about your experience.

Yes with my first, I can't remember how long it was - it is some time ago. But definitely less than four or five months. Maybe 12 weeks.

I found it very hard and tried to take much longer with my later children, in fact with one I had a few years.

The only big bonus was that there was no huge period of adjustment - it felt like a long holiday - albeit one with little sleep - rather than building a life at home and then starting again at work.

I had some paid childcare and some family members helping out - it was a very difficult time and not one I would repeat.

I went back after 22 weeks with both. To be honest, I was very glad to be back to the office, to engage with adults and have some peace and quiet. Both DSs settled in at nursery very well - they went in part-time for the first week or so - unlike the children of some friends of mine who went in after 12 months. It also helped that they were both more or less sleeping through by that stage, so I wasn't falling over with fatigue. Unfortunately, I couldn't keep breastfeeding after I went back to work - the moment I cut down on the middle of the day feeds, my milk just went (pumping at work just wasn't an option).

I felt guilty about going back to work, of course I did, but I think motherhood is one long guilt-trip anyway, whether your work away from home or are a SAHM.

I went back at 10 weeks with dd1 as we used to only get 12 weeks paid

Had a fantastic childminder

I was really worried about dd getting confused about who mummy was but it never turned into an issue, she always knew it was me and I was greeted with a great big gummy smile every night

I went back 2 days a week when dc1 was 11 weeks old as mat pay ran out, that was 15 years ago, I was ok I quite enjoyed the break and dc stayed with grandparents so I was lucky.

Good to hear some postive stories I'm preg with my first and self employed with (for complicated reasons) no mat leave pay/benifits from the govt. (which is the norm here).

Hoping to be able to do a bit from home to strech out my company savings to 3 months when OH can go pt at work, no nursey here until they are 1yr though (no private option), so we really don't know how this is going to work out.

My ds3 is 2 weeks and I'm off until sept so he'll be about 9 weeks but I work from home as a childminder so different but I'm already dreading having 7 kids (3 mine) to get to school, I'm going to be shattered. As I run my own business I couldn't afford to be off longer and I'm already lucky my parents can manage till then without me loosing any kids.

Kelly - no I'm in Africa, but similar arranagements. If you can hire people to help you at a reasonable cost then I would outsource as much as you can, I have a cleaner and a gardener. This means when I'm not at work I don't need to worry about keeping the house clean etc.

I'm very lucky that I now do a 4 day week, actually resigned from my job as I also had a bit of a breakdown (work not baby related) and my work / life balance is much better. Fridays I do chores - shopping, gym, admin etc and weekends are totally family time so I'm much happier now.

I do remember a few days when I was running big meetings on less than an hours sleep but those days are very rare now my DS is 4 luckily.

I am lucky in that I am home based so started working from home when dc were 8 weeks but i did use annual leave to work half days for the first month. Now expecting dc4 and will prob do the same again, it works for us but I know it wouldn't suit everyone (and I do come in for a fair bit of criticism for doing this).

I will be working a few hours a week from 3mo then he'll go to mil 1 short day a week at 5mo then mil plus 2days at nursery 9-5 at 6mo.
This will allow me to keep the clients/business i have already on the books. The plan is then to stick at 3days for up to 3/4yrs.
I hope that starting him at nursery at 6mo will be easier for him than leaving him for the first time at 12mo. Some will criticise me for leaving such a young child but I or his dad will be no more than 20mins away if they need us and I think that I'll be a better mum with this balance in the pre-school years.

Yes I went back at about this time. (Full time in theory though in practice it was about six weeks before we built up to full time.) DS is 7.5 months now and is at the childminder 4.5 days a week, though we are a bit flexible about our start/finish times so he goes 9-5 rather than 8-6.

I was really struggling with maternity leave, bad PND after a terrible pregnancy (was off sick almost the whole pregnancy, and not at all 'myself' at any point in it) and just desperately needed to get back to work and feel more like myself. I think in an ideal world (better pregnancy, not seriously depressed) I'd have stayed at home a bit longer because DS has got a lot easier and more rewarding in the last couple of months. But not much longer. I can't imagine taking the full 12 months without working at all!

I think it all depends a bit on what you personally find difficult. For me, doing a full day at work on very little sleep (but with time to myself with a coffee etc) is MUCH easier than spending all day with an emotionally demanding baby after the same bad night. Obviously not everyone feels like that - for a lot of people that sort of constant "emotional" work is easier and less draining than a day at the office (or whatever). And DS doesn't really sleep during the day which is definitely a factor.