Morbid - but I need some advice

[Ls271082]

I'm so upset/worried/anxious. Two of my close friends have both lost their beautiful baby girls at 37 and 29 weeks respectively in the space of a week. I feel so incredibly sad for both of them but don't know what to do to help. I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant and am so worried I'm going to lose my baby too, it's becoming an irrational fear. I'm considering buying a Doppler so I can check my baby's heart beat but I know I'll get obsessed. I'm refusing to do anything and I men anything cos I'm worried about lifting things or falling over. I'm getting worried about leaving the house in case something bad happens.

Anyone been thru anything similar or can advise what I can do for my friends and myself x

I didn't want you to go unanswered, my friend and I were pregnant together last year and both had healthy children, we got pregnant 6 weeks apart again this year and sadly she had to abort due to spina bifida very recently at 24 weeks, I am now 20 weeks along and I'm convinced something bad will happen to my baby too, it broke my heart watching her go through a funeral for her little one (east Surrey hospital not sure if all hospitals do this) and I'm now terrified if I don't feel baby move (3rd pregnancy so felt this one move at 14 weeks) that something awful has happened. I think it's just a natural reaction, only you can decide whether to buy a Doppler, what I can say from experience is if you can't find heartbeat for any reason this may panic you unnecessarily. I'm sure this hasn't helped in the slightest and I've just completely waffled at you but I hope it makes you realise you aren't alone take care

I can relate to aspects of this. My little boy is 5 months old now and throughout my pregnancy I had terrible anxieties that I was going to loose the baby. I had an abortion in 2010 and was convinced this meant I didn't "deserve" to be pregnant. My SIL was having fertility treatment and lost a baby just before I got pregnant and I felt terrible (she still struggles with it although she's now expecting). I totally understand your fear and all I can say is.. Be practical. Monitor the movements closely, if you're concerned then call your midwife or labour ward. I had a Doppler and it really reassured me but I still called for help if I was concerned.
I am so sorry for your friends loss and it is natural this will worry you. Stay calm and be practical.
Good luck with your pregnancy and don't be afraid to ring labour ward or midwife if concerned about ANYTHING!!

My baby girl was stillborn two years ago, I'm pg again I'm 24 weeks today.

How to respond to your friends, be honest with them, talk about their babies, but also be aware that you are in a place they want to be.
I had lots of friends who had babies at the same time my daughter died, and I was glad that all theirs were healthy.

For you, try not to panic, I know its hard and this is a shock for you too. Just keep an eye on your babies movements, talk to you midwife about your concerns.

Fx for you