worried about my stress affecting my baby?

[sprite25]

Im nearly 19 weeks pregnant and worried about stress affecting the baby. I work part time in a place I hate where I feel at least 2 people could be classed as bullies. My husband is working less hours then me and as embarrassing as it is to admit we are currently living with my parents who dont get along. we are saving for our own place but money is a worry as we basically have none. My husband is 12 years older then me yet I feel like he needs mothering as he is incapable/unwilling to do anything along so everything that needs sorting out in our life is left to me (I planned and organised our whole wedding single handed) and know that when it comes to moving out I will be left to sort this out too and in some ways Im dreading when the baby arrives as its my 1st baby but think it will be more like having two kids where my husband is concerned. I know I should just take a step back and count to ten but feel like being pregnant I should have people looking after me but feel like I have the stress of the world on me right now. I dont really have any friends and keep comfort eating which is adding to the stress as its making me worry about my weight! Just looking for some hand holding or sympathy really.

Your husband needs to take on more hours, can he do that? I really feel for you. This is all very stressful, but the last thing you need to do is worry about the effects of stress on the baby as that's just more stress!

If you can focus on what you can do to improve your situation, rather than worry about the fact you're worrying, you will be a lot calmer. Easier said than done.

People should care more for your feelings and whether you are stressed when you are pregnant and frankly try to pull their weight work wise (husband) and not argue around you (parents?).

If your husband needs organising, tell him what you think he needs to do to make you happy. Likewise, can you explain to your parents that, while you appreciate you're living with them and it's a big deal, it would help you a lot if they could try to be civil with one another as you're worried about being stressed, not for your own sake, but the baby's.

What about asking your GP if you could see a counsellor just to let off some steam? It might help. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate, and anyone would be stressed and worried in your situation, I know I would. I think first and foremost you need to think about you and the baby, make sure you have plans for you two and if your partner can't be bothered to help then let him sort himself out. This is the time others should be looking after you, but obviously you can't rely on that, so instead of worrying about everything and everyone, just make sure you and baby are going to be ok. Everyone else can do what they like.

Have you tried to make a plan to change what you can for you and the bb?

If you make some decisions and see what your options are (re work, mat leave, housing) hopefully it will stop you being stressed about everything and being overwhelmed. You have to talk to your OH at least, tell him in no uncertain terms what are his responsibilties, and what you expect from him now and when DC arrives.

If you are both working such few hours how are you going to save for your own place, not to mention pay for it when you get one?

Hi op.

Firstly you & your dp need to sort your hours out. Your dp isn't stepping up as he knows you will do it all in the end. Your parents are doing you a favour, if you don't like it find somewhere else to live.

Your dp has never taken responsibility, he probably never will... My dp is exactly the same. After nearly 14 years, i know my dp will never change.

I wish 14 years ago id seen him for the man he is, not what i wanted. I would tell him very honestly how your feeling.

LoveBeingUpAt4InTheMorning we have saved money so far (enough to be able to move out in the next couple of months) and although we are only both working part time at the moment, my husband is still only on the probation period at the moment, when this ends his hours will go up, plus I plan on going back to work after having my maternity leave with the baby so we will afford our own place fine thank you very much (Im just worrying about money at the moment and Im sure even those with plenty of money still have times of worrying about the financial responsibility of a child). Shellywelly1973 I have told him many times but like your DP I have the feeling that no matter what he will never truly be the responsible grown up I want him to be.