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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Just been o see midwife and feel so down could cry

40 replies

Beckmum4 · 04/07/2013 15:40

Iv just been for my 28 week apt and measured 32 weeks
When I asked midwife if this was ok she replied " we'll when there's a lot of mum, and there is a lot of you isn't there"
She weighed me and Iv put on 8lb in the pregnancy is that to much?? I honestly don't know
I mean I know I'm over weight but she knocked my confidence out of me she makes me feel like I'm the fattest mummy to be ever known.
I carnt change the midwife as she's the only one attached to my surgery.
I could cry if I'm honest
:(
Please ladies I'm not after sympathy I just wanted to see what ppl think have I put to much weight on so far ?? 8lb and 28weeks

Thank you

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Charliewasagoodhamster · 04/07/2013 19:15

I've just commented on my post about how rude your midwife sounds. I don't think 8lb is my much to have put on. I would want to tell her she is being rude but know I would either cry then and there or as I walked out of the door.

From my first pregnancy and tales if many friends the big for dates thing is mostly tosh. Babies grow at their own rate.

Ignore her. If you you can.

Queazy · 04/07/2013 20:19

I'm really sorry to hear that - no it's not a lot at all. I've put on over 2st at 32 weeks. It's hard but try to ignore it, or call her with some feedback if you're feeling up to it x

Rockchick1984 · 04/07/2013 20:52

It doesn't sound like she was commenting on your weight gain though, she was commenting on your weight. Two completely different things! Do you know what your BMI was pre pregnancy? I think she worded it badly however if your bump is measuring large then she was probably trying to say that bigger mums are more likely to have bigger babies. If you started with a normal BMI then that wouldn't apply to you however if you started with a higher BMI then it would!

Xmasbaby11 · 04/07/2013 21:23

8lb .. that's nothing! Weird comment.

scoutfinch1 · 04/07/2013 21:38

8lb is not a big weight gain for this point in your pregnancy. However, I don't think the MW was having a go at the weight gain but was commenting on the fact that you being overweight affects the baby's measurements which is something that she did have to say. She could have said it more delicately though. Please try and not be so upset about it and don't take it to heart.

Mayanbob · 05/07/2013 04:00

What a cow. I do agree with scout in that it prob wasn't deliberate. But it was still insensitive and frankly I think I would have cried and then punched her this has nothing to do with my sleep deprivation

For what it's worth I am 33+2 and At 28 weeks I'd put on 24 lb (I think- crazy midwives keep changing units of measurement so I've gad to convert)

Newmum0113 · 05/07/2013 04:18

I am really concerned cad my MW hasn't even weighed me, or measured me at all. I'm 25 weeks.

I know what I weighed at booking in but don't know now what I weigh, although I've definitely piled it on as I've been immobile due to recovering from surgery.

I've been calling my MW all week but only get vm. Have text her and still no reply. I don't want to see another MW as I hate changing things, and I shouldn't have to. But now I'm really worried as I was labelled "morbidly obese" by my nurse (I'm a size 18 - due to large hips, only a 14/16 waist - hourglass figure) and she was like a size 24+.

I have no idea how big my baby is or if she's on target for dates etc. I know where/when my MW runs her appointment clinic so should I just turn up without appointment seeing as I can't get in contact with her by phone?

Sorry to jump on op but didn't want to start with a new thread.

IWipeArses · 05/07/2013 08:32

Newmum, they don't start measuring the bump for dates til around 26 weeks I think. There's nowt they can do anyway, worrying will only upset you lovey. Are you booked in for a glucose tolerance test?
The best thing you can do is to keep as mobile as you can, listen to what you've been told if you need rest for medical reasons but get walking if you can and eat plenty of nutritious food. And relax.

ChunkyPickle · 05/07/2013 08:41

Don't worry about it - I'm measuring a bit big, (I am obese though), and the midwife said that it's not strictly accurate (as she put a big cross on the chart way above the top line - and told me not to worry about it). She said that ultrasound dating scans are a better indication (and we all know how accurate those are too)

8lb is absolutely fine - it's mainly the extra blood/baby/water etc. The midwife just put it very, very badly!

NotALemon · 07/07/2013 08:48

I think she was just being honest with you- it's better IMO to have someone tell it like it is than try and skirt around a subject- if she'd just said 'Oh don't worry, it's fine' you might then have looked it up later and seen the growth was a little on the large side, and then worried even more. At least you'll know you can trust her to tell you what's what later on . And 8lbs is fab weight gain so don't worry, I just hope my Nesquick craving means I don't stack it on too much!x

pumpkinsweetie · 07/07/2013 09:14

She sounds positively awful & very rude, there are better ways to explain things. 8lb is very good for 28weeks!
Unfortunetly us with higher bmi's will always get some sort of numpty who is insulting to the core. So far at 14 weeks i have had a trainee moaning she couldn't find a vein at my NT because my veins are deep due to my larger frame, i'm size 16 fgs!
Then notes on my scans in capitals stating imaging reduced due to maternal habitus, even though my pics were as clear as day!

I understand my health is of upmost importance and have even asked for slimming world vouchers but mw refuses to let me have them and has said she would rather i didn't diet after sticking a huge green high bmi sticker on my notes!

noblegiraffe · 07/07/2013 09:23

But she wasn't talking about how much you had gained, as she didn't weigh you till afterwards.

She was talking about how big you are. If you're overweight, the measurements won't be as accurate.

How was she supposed to tell you that without acknowledging that you are overweight?

Original poster

Beckmum4 · 15/07/2013 00:20

I've since changed doc practice I hope and pray I get a new nice midwife. I'm still huge and my god melting in this hot weather my feet are swelling ??? Never had that b4 (it's dc4 )

OP posts:

Bodicea · 15/07/2013 19:18

I don't think She was referring to your weight gain In pregnancy which i think is way less than average just overall weight. it wasn't the most tactful thing i have heard but Seriously some of the comments on here are overreacting. It is important for health professionals to be able to talk about weight without fear of being complained about otherwise they just won't be able to be honest to their patients which is a ridiculous situation to be in.

Tinyflutterby · 15/07/2013 20:43

Definetly try and see another midwife or change surgeries. This is a special time for you and you need support and understanding, especially from your midwife. I am 21 weeks and have put on 7lb already. With my DS (who was 9lb 3oz) I put on 3 stone then stopped weighing myself, but reckon it was closer to 4 stone by the end. I am only 5 foot tall and weigh just over 7 stone normally, so 4 stone was quite something! Don't get upset, just find another midwife, you owe it to yourself and no-one should be allowed to spoil this for you. Bug hugs.x

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