Childcare for dc1 when I go into labour

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What are other people -who don't have family to help- doing?

Mother is reusing to help us, thinks I'm being a wimp for wanting dh to be at the birth and thinks I should give birth alone, siblings aren't close to me, barely spoken I'm years.

Best friend and dc1's godmother has offered but obviously it could happen in the middle of the night and she could be working (she works very antisocial hours and has to be on call largely) plus she lives at least an hours drive across town.

Called tinies and they said if it happens in the day they may be able to sort out emergency care but not if it happens at night.

Other friends have offered, but no real concrete plans - I don't think people realise it could mean coming to our house in the middle of night and potentially looking after dc1 for 2 days - my waters broke Friday 4am last time and dint reliever until 5am Sunday morning, had to stay in hospital to be induced which took a very long time.

It looks like I'll have to give birth alone which I don't want to do, plus dh wants to see his second child being born.

Am 33+3 so time is running out.

Have you asked the in-laws? Personally I'd be having words with your mum and explain that DH wants to be there, its not about you being a wimp!

Other than that, a couple of my friends are due to give birth soon. If there was no one else I would happily take any of their kids for as long as necessary and I know they would do the same for me. Just make it clear when speaking to them about it, that you would need them for the full labour and check they are happy with this in advance.

I wouldn't go to friend's house though, they would have to bring their DC to me, as otherwise I wouldn't have anyone to mind my DS!

Have you considered having a home birth?
I have luckily managed to get my mam to come over to be with me in Spain as I also have nobody to look after dd when I go into labour. She's here now until the birth and I feel so much more relaxed! We can't have home births very easily over here so it wasn't an option for me.
I wonder if you could have a friend or two stay over a couple of times so dc1 gets used to them being around and they can see your routine.
Good luck with everything. I hope it all works out ok.

I second a homebirth.

Thank you all, I'm unable o have a home birth as my iron levels are very low and I may need a transfusion if I heamorrage (sp) and lose too much blood.

Does anyone know of any childcare services that provide emergency nanny/babysitting services?

I am aghast at your mum, you poor thing. Really not helpful and adding undue stress at this time! Can you try speaking to her again and explaining that it's standard form for men to be present nowadays? Sure there are stats readily available.

My family isn't particularly close and I'm planning to stay at home for as long as poss as I know that I'll be closely monitored in hospital. Hoping I can make it to a decent hour then plan to call my mum. I've got a (childless) mate who's like ds's godmother nearby, but although amazing, so flakey (!) and so I can't rely on her!

So if it's any consolation, my plans are exactly watertight! Sort of plan to wing it a little depending upon the hour etc.

Good luck x

Thank you mila she's adamant that she thinks its silly I want dh there and that he wants t be there, she thinks its unnecessary and has told me to stop being a wimp. Giving up on relying on her.

We have now put together a list of about 5 people who have agreed to help / be on call when I go into labour. Once we get to 7am we can call tinies and book an emergency nanny. Still feel uneasy about it but worse case scenario I would give birth without dh. Hopefully it doesn't come to that

I'm already worrying about what on earth to do about this, and DC2 hasn't even been conceived yet! But nearest family are an hour and a half away and all work, so really not sure what we'll do if/when etc. Which couldn't be less helpful to you, sorry. Cannot BELIEVE your mum though! Appalled at that. Good luck, hope you sort something out that doesn't involve your husband missing the birth!!

Can you ask any childminders in the area? I know some near me do care for this sort of situation (overnights too) and you've got 6/7 weeks to get your DC1 accustomed to someone new - depending on how old the are, you could dress it up as an adventure for them, 'special friend/auntie' who they may have to go on a special sleepover with etc? Would that be a possible idea?

We looked into it as i had the same, fortunately I had an argument with a consultant til he eventually ok'd a homebirth so I had DS2 in the bedroom while DS1 had a nap on the sofa next dooe and DP could pop between both rooms!