Huge anxiety over 12 week scan tomorrow

[EarthMither]

I've managed to work myself up into a state of panic over my 12 week scan which is happening tomorrow morning. I'm 40 and expecting my first after 5 years of TTC, and obviously I'm well aware of the increased risk of trisomies etc at my age, so in a way I guess it's not entirely irrational to be fearful of a negative outcome.

What I'd like to know though is - can I ask the sonographer not to show me the screen unless they feel the signs are generally positive? I don't know yet what I'll do if the screening indicates a very high risk, but I'm fairly sure that coming to any decision re TFMR will be easier if I haven't seen images of the foetus.

Is the sonographer going to think I'm mad if I ask them not to show me the screen? TIA if anyone can offer me some advice on this.

I totally get where your coming from...

Im 40 & 10 weeks pregnant. I had a MMC at end of February. The sonographer will check first. She will not turn the screen around until she/he is finished checking the baby.

Im terrified of my 12 week scan. Its in 2 weeks time. Im scared they will tell me theres no heartbeat again & Im scared something is wrong with the baby.

I just keep thinking positive thoughts & telling myself what will be, will be.

Take care of yourself & let us know how you get on.

I totally get where you're coming from. Mine is tomorrow too. I feel like I can't breathe. Not much sleep tonight I think. Huge unmumsnetty hugs x

Oh & no they won't think your mad if you ask not to see the screen. I was nearly crying when i had a scan last week. I explained very briefly, sonographer was lovely. Very understanding & calming.

They are totally used to people being totally stressed out so do not worry.

I hope things go well for you tomorrow

Thanks very much for all of the replies - Shellywelly1973 I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss, and I really appreciate your reassurance about the sonographer checking first before turning the screen. This has put my mind at rest a lot, and I've got everything crossed for you too in 2 weeks time. It must be so worrying after what you've experienced and it's really kind of you to offer me some words of comfort while you've got your own fears to deal with.

HystericalParoxysm - unMN hugs right back at you and hope you get some rest tonight. Will be thinking of you tomorrow and wishing for a good scan for you too.

peanutpie - thanks for kind words and making me feel better about looking like a madwoman in front of the sonographer :) and Shelley's reassurance about this too (understanding and calming sounds like just what I need).

Really grateful for all this and feel a fair bit better - thanks all.

I've got mine tomorrow, too, and am a bit scared. I'm 35. I get the fear about the tests and stuff.

I'll hold your hand!

Good luck. I have mine tomorrow too and we were trying for 5 years too. Have everything crossed for you xx

got my scan tomorrow too, although i havn't been through what your going through just wanted to wish you good luck, fingers crossed that everything will go well for you, xx

Good luck. Hope all goes well today. It's natural to be anxious and in some ways good to prepare yourself for anything that may be wrong.
I was nervous even though I had had a scan at 9 weeks that showed healthy baba. So nervous that they had to take my blood pressure numerous times as was off the scale. Usually it's on the low side of normal.

The first thing they do will let you hear the heart beat if all ok. This should hopefully put your mind at rest.
Tell the sonographer to turn the screen. Mine was always facing me. I am sure they have had stranger requests or goings on. Eg. At my 20 wk scan there was a couple having a full blown argument in the next scan room!! I could hear the lady saying shut up I'm having your effing baby to her other half. I laughed heartily at this even though I had bloomin dildo cam up my foof... they routinely do internal scans at my hospital after the tummy one to check cervix etc. The sonographers didn't even flinch which means they have pretty much seen it all. all the best x

Just wanted to say good luck today - although I don't have quite the same history I had 2 mc before this pregnancy, so was in a state of absolute terror when I went for my scan. The lovely people at the hospital were great - just tell them exactly what you need. In my case I had no idea, but had a very no nonsense consultant who just got on with it- perfect for me. If you have preferences on seeing screen etc just ask, I'm sure they will be accommodating. Good luck :)

The sonographer will usually do all if her checks before turning the screen to show you. Don't worry if they seem quiet this is normal and they are just going through the checks.

Good luck everyone for today

OP I get your anxiety too. I am sure the sonographer will be accommodating. After all, the primary purpose of the scan is a medical investigation, and secondary is letting you have a gander at your foetus (i think a lot of women forget that.) Just so you are prepared, at some hospitals they have a big screen up on the wall which you watch on rather than turning the monitor, but I am sure the sonographer can turn this off and do the checks on their monitor first.
I hope it all goes really well for you.

Thanks for all the replies - TobyLerone, blondebaby111 and terilou87, I really hope everything went OK for you all at your scans today.

Mine didn't show anything to worry about at this stage (phew!) so now I'm just waiting to hear back on my bloods - they're going to call me before the weekend if there's any cause for concern. So hoping no news will be good news on that front too.

Still feeling anxious and depressed, not helped by the fact that there was a second screen facing me and DH as per Quodlibet's post - by the time I'd realised the sonographer had already started and I felt it would be ridiculous to ask her to turn the wall-screen off. So I just stared at the ceiling for the duration. Feeling quite bad about this now and wish I'd been assertive enough to ask for it to be switched off.

Also realised that having felt absolutely no sense of relief after the scan, despite the signs being good, I'm not going to be able to relax about this pregnancy until after the 20 week scan as this is what I immediately started worrying about while I was waiting for my bloods to be taken. So I am resigned to being a basketcase for another 8 weeks...

Anyway thanks again to everyone for the replies and hand-holding - much appreciated :)

Glad it went well, OP. Mine too :) NT measurement was 1.7mm, and everything looked normal, so I feel a bit more relaxed now!

Earthmither - so glad everything was ok for you today. The bad news is that anxiety you're feeling just now is pretty much permanent!! Or at least it has been for me :-)

The anxiety is permanent really - you think you'll relax after the 20-week scan, but then it becomes "I'll be OK when I'm 24 weeks", and then 30, and then you start thinking about the birth...I'm not trying to make you feel worse, honest, but if your anxiety levels are stopping you from enjoying the pregnancy (and a good result at the 12 week scan is a very good sign - the chances of things going wrong now are very small) then a chat with your midwife or GP might be in order.

I am seconding lurcherlover with the suggestion of approaching your GP if your anxiety levels are preventing you enjoying life. It's a horrible thing to be constantly dreading the worst, but there are ways to restructure your thinking, you don't have to just live with it. I had some CBT for anxiety after my MC which really gave me some good strategies to deal with this current pregnancy which happened quite soon after. I recommend a book called 'The Worry Cure' by Robert Leahy (which the NHS also endorse) as a good starting point too.
I am wishing you well for your blood results.