Telling stepdaughter she will be a big sister!

[kasareem]

Hi guys,
I'm very early in pregnancy (6 weeks ish), but beginning to really feel it too! It's so exciting noticing all the little signs and symptoms. I have my first GP appointment on Thursday. Anyway it's early days to be thinking about this but I was hoping for some advice on introducing the idea to my stepdaughter. I have been looking online for books but not really getting anywhere so just thought I'd ask if anyone has any recommendations? OH is a widower so ideally we don't want books too much about 'mummy having another baby', although we do talk about her mum a lot at home.

Would love to hear your ideas!

Congrats on the pregnancy! I decided to hide away in big jumpers and layers til 20 weeks then told my step children. Well my DH did and they were excited and gave us both congrats. I am glad my DH told them one on one and see how happy he was. They worked weeks on a middle name which was nice that they wanted take on that responsibility. Now I am about to pop they are getting really excited.

I like I was worried early on to tell them in case of miscarriage. Now I am all waddlie it's nice to see them have more time with their Dad (just him I mean).

Btw step parent sub forum is a great place to get advice

How old is she? We told my 5 year old DSD when I had gone 12 weeks just in case anything happened. I now have a 5 week old DS and she loves him to bits. We just made sure she felt involved in buying stuff for the baby, talking about names and making her feel like a big sister

We told my dsc's when I was about 8 weeks cos I was so unbelievably sick they were getting really worried about me.

We sat them down and told them that we loved them very much and that we had something very exciting to tell them, they were going to have a baby brother or sister. Dss is 9 and dsd is 7 and they took it very well.

We talked a lot about what a baby meant, lots of work, noise and dirty nappies etc and how much we wanted them to be involved, asked them to think about names etc.

How old is your dsd? If she is old enough to forgo the books then do, they weren't much use for us tbh. Just talk openly with her and make sure she knows that it doesn't change anything about how you feel about her. Make her feel involved, talk about how much of a help she will be when.baby comes, changing nappies etc, consider too expressing milk so she can help feed baby, my dsd is so excited now!!

And avoid the step board or is a very scary place!

Wow, thanks for all the quick responses!
It's really nice to tell someone actually as obvs it's a secret at the mo!
Dsd is 7, so not too different to yours Babyh. She's very mature about emotional things and quite good at talking about how she feels so I think we might forgo the books. Did any of you use pregnancy books to explain what stage the baby was at to yours?
We think we'll wait till 12 weeks but then tell her first (along with our parents and her other grandparents).

Great advice about involving her and making her feel life a big sis... Do you know what name your dsc's have chosen photographerlady!? Are you worried at all?

No books just sat them down and talked it through, das is a typical boy and totally blase about it all, dsd however is uber excites, all we get now is "ohhh when she is bigger I can teach her to tie her shoe laces" and she knows I am terrified of heights so has said when we go to the local fun pool she will take baby on the water slides etc.

If you are waiting til 12 weeks, get an extra photo so she has one of her own and then you can show her its head,hands, feet etc...will help make it real.

Mine love that they can see and feel my tummy move about and as dss was on cub camp the other weekend me and dsd had a proper girly.shopping day looking at baby stuff.

As an aside, when baby does arrive make sure s/he gets your dsd a pressie and a card that says s/he is glad to have such a fab big sister.

Maybe get her a t shirt that says big sister on it?

hehe kasareem they (7 and 10) choose Sofia, so little sister is going to be called Matilda Sofia. I was so happy is wasn't fluffybum or one of the other stuff toy names they have hehee. Good luck!

Thanks babyh, those are really good suggestions ... We will definitely be doing all we can to include dsd in the pregnancy. Great idea about a present for big sis!! OH and I are getting married in early August so well tell her straight after that I think. She'll still be in a high from bridesmaid duties! Photographerlady, I think you are very lucky your step kids have such good taste!! Lovely name!

We took DP Ds's out to dinner and he told them. They are 7 and 8 (almost 9) and it went something like this. DP 'boys we have something to tell you, You are going to be big brothers' 8yo 'Oh cool have you got a baby in your belly' DP 'well there's two' 8yo 'Awesome, twins! Does that mean you had sex twice?' (At the top of his voice!) Me 'Hahahahahahaha' 7yo didn't really say anything and went all sombre, this did worry me but he was the same when we asked if I could move in with them, turned out that time he was worried I wouldn't bring my cats which of course I did, with this he was worried he wouldn't get his cuddles from me anymore! Bless him. I told him that he would always get his cuddles and followed this up the next morning by watching tv in bed for an hour and a half having cuddles and breakfast brought to us by DP They are both now very very excited and are always mentioning the twins.

They do have a younger brother by their mother and her partner so it wasn't all new to them. But we have told them that they can come and do some of the shopping with us and we would like them to buy the babies their first teddy bears And what made them both extremely happy is 7yo is getting his little sister and 8yo getting another brother, which is what they both asked for I have drawn a line at letting them help with names after they came up with Dickinson (Dickinsons real deal anyone!) and Stella and Foster ( I wonder what their mothers partner drinks all time as DP doesn't drink that often and we know he drinks A LOT)

My OHs little girl is 3. Everytime she.comes round we remind her by saying "wheres our baby?" and.she will point at my bump and go 'there'.. She also came to my last scan. I think that repeating it is the.best for younger kids.. Shes always stroking my.bump now.and.saying 'baby asleep?' or.'baby.crying?" lol.. Just.hope shes as.enthusiastic when.shes born!!