Birth plans? Worth the paper they are written on?

[ElBombero]

DC2 due in 10 weeks, I'm really quite anxious about the birth. I had an recent visit with the anaesthetist as I can choose to have an ECS if I wanted (due to events of PFB delivery) however I want to avoid this. So we spoke at length about a patient controlled epidural. I think this is a good compromise. However knowing from here / OBEM midwives can be abit judgey even dismissive about women wanting epidurals, especially early ones when I may seem to be coping well. Yet the anaesthetist as said earlier the better a) to ensure it gets done b) for my anxiety c) to get my pain at a manageable level (with it being PC) The thought of them ruining my plans, telling me to see how I go, get in the pool, it will slow it down I think will really really distress me.

So led in bed in the early hours not sleeping and thought ahhhhh I need a Birth Plan... Maybe stating the reasons an epidural is important to me and that I have considered all the CONS so don't need to go through them again I.e. "do not even think about patronising me."

I didn't have a birth plan with my DD, I just wanted it to be as natural as possible and see how things progressed so not sure how these are received / taken into account.

Any experience or advice?

Ive never written a birth plan. Currently pregnant with DC4.

I really wouldn't worry about anyone on here or midwives on OBEM being judgy about your possible choices!!

Its your body, your baby. You choose how YOU want to give birth, not how you perceive others want you to. If that means having every drug available or none at all then so be it.

Good luck. Try not to be too anxious. Easier said than done, I know, but baby has to come out one way or another.

I have never bothered with a written birth plan (currently 36 weeks with DC3).

I have had 2 epidurals and never had a problem with any of the midwives who were at my births. In fact with DC2 (who was induced due to unexplained bleeding) the consultant asked me if I had considered an epidural before he put in the drip (ie I was not in labour/any pain!) so I actually didn't feel a single contraction which I thought was most odd! But there we go! None batted an eyelid!

I am not going to do one, I just want to relax and take it all as it comes. It is my first.

I wrote a birth plan for my DS and the midwife did read it and they did follow it when certain things happened (with confirmation from me obviously)

But I would deff say it's up to you what happens, don't let anyone try and change your mind or not listen to what you want

I don't plan on bothering with a birth plan either (it's my first) and most of my friends say they never got it out of their bag, and no one read it even if they had it there.

I had started one, and it stayed nicely typed on the computer at home as my waters broke at 38 weeks before I'd printed it. Mine was a list of preferences, i.e. DH to stay at head end, if I ask for drugs then give me the drugs, if it comes to it I'd prefer ventouse over forceps, DH to stay with baby rather than me if we were to be separated etc.

I just told my DH and midwives what my preferences were and in reality it didn't matter, my DS got distressed and ended up being yanked out with the salad tongs and I ended up with 4th degree tear and an hour in surgery afterwards But it was helpful to have written a list so I was able to say to DH in the early stages of labour and he was able to speak to the consultant on my behalf while I was trying to breath through contractions.

I would suggest writing a short list of things you feel strongly about, you don't have to put it in with your notes but it may help you feel more in control about certain things if its written down so you can refer back to it rather than loosing sleep over it.

For your peace of mind, could you ask the anaesthetist to do a short letter to put with your notes stating that they have had already discussed this with you and agree that an epidural earlier rather than later would be advisable.

No one read my birth plan, but they did talk me through my options at each stage. It was still useful for me to write it because it made me think about all the options in advance.

My birth plan was followed by the MWs even when I changed my mind! Was grateful really as I'd got so bored of waiting for a natural third stage that I asked for the injection but they said I should stick to my plan and wait it out.

I've written birth plans for my two DC's arrivals. Both were read by my midwife team before my due date and again by the midwife who was with me. I had both at home, so perhaps they had more time on their hands and were giving one-to-one care which might make quite a difference to their appetite for reading it! Both plans were followed, and discussed if needed. In fact, I missed out the quite important point about my DH fainting at the sight of blood on the second one, which came home to roost, whereas first time around the MWs were careful about what he saw!

I would write one in your position, both to clarify your thoughts and to avoid the debate when you get there. If it doesn't get used much, it's better to have spent a wasted hour on it than to wish for ever more that you had had one.

Can you get that in writing from the anaesthetist and are you in a consultant led unit?

this is my birth plan for number 5,was the same for all of them except the first two were in hospital.

At home.

I want my husband with me.

I want to go in the birthing pool and give birth in there.

Examinations etc as needed,but no more than necessary.

I would like gas and air available.

I want to catch my own baby.

I dont want vitamin K.

I dont want the cord cut until its stopped pulsating.

That is basically it,they have all gone like that too.I would say with my first one i was open minded and just thought,what will happen will happen,millions of other women do it so can i,and i just did!

I think its good to have one so that whoevers caring for you knows how you feel about things like cutting the cord,vitimin k,pain relief,just dont get too hung up on it.

I dont think having an epidural early on would be for me,and really i dont see the point as if you just see how it is without one you could find it easier than you think,it will still be there if you need it.The risk with them is that they can lead to other intervention so you would be more likely to need a an assisted delivery or a section.

oh yes and no injection for the placenta i forgot about that!

I had one and they ignored some parts (no injection to speed up placenta etc after birth) but they did follow the pain relief aspects (even when quite frankly I had changed my mind about a fucking natural birth).

I think in retrospect I would just have
Explain everything to me and the consequences of doing and not doing any course of action so that I can make an informed decision
Update me immediately if the situation changes

I found mine the other day, nine years after writing, and in my case I can say it was definitely not worth the paper it was written on.

Not a single thing on my 'plan' actually happened.

Write one by all means but be prepared for it to end up in the bin at some point.

In Scotland it must be rather different then as your "birth preferences" as they call it is a part of your actual notes. Your MW discusses this with you at around 34-36 weeks.

Quite awful that many feel their MW haven't even read theirs.

Mine will be more about the role of my supporting partner/s and basic stuff like cord clamping, who is to cut etc

I just wrote a few things down that I really wanted, but that would be able to be followed no matter on the circumstances iyswim. Such as; skin-to-skin asap, with either me or dh; I wanted dh to tell me the sex of the baby etc. So even though birth didn't go to 'plan' (do any?) I was able to have everything on my plan fulfilled!

But the key really was dh, who knew what I wanted, and was the one who stood up for me when I was nearly at the end of myself, and made some cracking decisions on my behalf. We'd talked about birth quite a bit, and he knew that I really wanted to engage with it as much as possible, and so he was able to help make decisions based on that. So my advice would be to talk to dh/dp/dm/birth partner at length about what you'd like, and then they can be the one to be strong when you're dealing with....well...giving birth!

I just printed one off the nhs website. Covers the major bases. The midwives I've met so far have been of the 'if you have an epidural you're a bad mother' variety. So I wanted to have it in writing. That way they can know it's a thought out decision iyswim.