Really struggling with early pregnancy...how did you get through it?

[Shellywelly1973]

Hi.
Im 8 weeks pregnant with my 6th dc. Oldest 2 are grown up& don't live at home any more. Younger 3 are 11,8&4. Dc8 has complex SN.
I am self employed & work from home. Dp works shifts. He gets 1 weekend off a month. He works most of his rest days. So i do all childcare/housework/schools/lots of appointments for ds8.

I recently was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid. 3 days later i found out i was pregnant!

Normally Im fine when pregnant. Tired&little bit of ms but this pregnancy has wiped me out! I've never experienced sickness like this! The tiredness is overwhelming. I used to only sleep 5/6 hrs a night now i can sleep for 15 hours & still be dead on my feet.

My work is suffering. The house is beyond hideous & there's so much to do but i can't do it...even the basics. I've never felt so overwhelmed in my life. I am starting to question why we're having another dc.

This has been a stressful month. I had a MMC in my last pregnancy so its been very worrying.

How do other people manage? Any advice appreciated!

first off congrats - and you are amazing!! I am hating pg with DC1 so can only marvel at someone who has 5 already and 1 on the way.

Sickness - speak to your GP they can give you pills to help

Thyroid - will be making you extra tired, again speak to your GP and get them to check that your meds etc are doing what they should be

As for the rest, is there anyone who could help with your other kids? A friend or family member who could help by having your youngest for a few hours to give you some respite?

At 11 your dc is capable of helping around the house - could s/he earn extra pocket money or treats by hovering/tidying up/washing the pots to help out?

could the older 2 help out at all? maybe calling in to help with house or the younger kids?

My Ds gets 6 hours a week restpite from social services so that helps alot.

Ive already started consultant care because of the thyroid. Im back at the hospital next week so hopefully my levels will have improved. Im on a high dose of thyroxine as my condition isn't stable.

My oldest Ds isn't in this city. The other one works very long hours. They don't know Im pregnant. I won't tell them until i get the results of my CVS&scan. I won't tell them at all if i don't continue with the pregnancy.

No one knows Im pregnant. When i lost the last baby, my immediate families response was a shock. I don't have much to do with my mum or sister now.

I need to be more organised & this will pass eventually! I just need to get through this really horrible time...

could you use the thyroid condition rather than pg to source some extra help from friends/family?

the only reaction I can imagine towards anyone who miscarries would be to be very sad for them - I assume from your post that wasn't the reaction you got?

Offering hand to hold as support xx

Hi Shelly, just wanted to say that you deserve a massive medal. I feel for you and can relate to having a difficult early pregnancy. Wish I could conjure up a magic cure for it and also someone to come and clean both our houses!

My mum has had her thyroid removed and I remember how hard it was for her before the operation - the body goes through many changes which must be exacerbated by pregnancy. I'm happy to hold your hand and send lots of positive vibes. Take care of yourself and PM me if you ever fancy a chat/moan.

Thankyou for your lovely replies...really touched!

When i told my sister i had mc & needed to go into hospital for an ERPC, she told me she was going to vomit. I thought it was because i had carried the baby for so long after it had died. She said it was actually the thought of me being pregnant. She also asked me to ask the Dr if i could be sterilized during the ERPC. She didn't ask me if i wanted to be sterilized...

My mum said it was for the best as 'it'might have been like Ds.

Now the best bit is until this point i considered myself to have a good relationship with them both.

I don't now!

Im going to try & find some sort of babysitter to help afterschool. Im organising the summer holidays now.

The thing is Im normally fine & don't need much help from anyone. Im the one who helps others...its making me feel very vunrable not being able to keep it all going.

Thanks again...

Wow you are an actual superwoman. I am only on DC1 and found early pregnancy a beast of a thing!

I am so so sorry that you did not get very much family support after the mc. I cannot imagine how hard that must have been.

It is really tricky when you are used to being the strong capable one (and you very much sound both of those things) but do you have any friends close by who could do some childminding/help with house stuff as you are both ill with the thyroid issue and pregnant.
I know that if one of my friends was in this position I would really want to help if I could.

take care of yourself

Hishelly
You really are a super women. I admire you.
A lot of what you're feeling could well be down to the thyroid. I have a problem with mine and the things you described sound a lot like me when mine goes lala
Unbelievable tiredness and feeling overwhelmed by things that are not normally a problem. Pg makes it 2×as bad. Once you get levels up you'll hopefully feel more like yourself again.
Till then call in as many favours as you can and use the thyroid as the reason if you need one. It alone can be hard work.
Take care oh and congratulations. Xxx