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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Someone slap me!!!!!

21 replies

Quackers · 04/02/2004 14:21

Don't what is wrong but I'm off work today and switched on 'special delivery'. I have been heartbroken since. I cannot stop crying as a little baby girl died a few days after birth because of a cyst and they could do nothing. I wish I hadn't watched it. You know what american programs are like they show everything and I couldn't beleive it ended that way.
I couldn't stop crying in the bath last night thinking about the first baby I lost and what could have been and how it felt to see it come out. I was in the car the other day and burst into tears thinking about it then too.
I'm sorry if this is negative, but someone please tell me I'm normal! It's not depression or anything is it????

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Jimjams · 04/02/2004 14:28

Quackers- I think it would be abnormal nt to cry.

i think I would have cried - without being through what you've been through.

And any programme on autism has me sobbing into the cushions immediately. Do something lighthearted now to cheer yourself up.

lazyeye · 04/02/2004 14:30

Quacks - this pg and last I seem to cry at the drop of a hat - all v normal I think. Try not to look at the horror stories........I did it the other week on the web and it upset me for days.

Got any comedy videos handy?

Original poster

Quackers · 04/02/2004 14:45

Bless you, I know it's normal to have so much emotion but I just wanted to know from someone else! Will go and read something/watch something more lighthearted!!

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Twinkie · 04/02/2004 14:51

God any birth I watch on TV has me a blubbing along with wedding programmes - it is completely normal.

Blu · 04/02/2004 15:03

Quackers, I'm sure it's absolutely normal to feel so emotional over the loss of your first baby, and healthy to express it. If you are 'brooding' or the feeling is stopping you getting on with newer positive things in your life, perhaps you could look for some support,counselling if you haven't had it, for e.g. If not, buy more tissues, and stick with old comedy films!

M2T · 04/02/2004 15:18

Quackers - My DH is forever shouting at me for watching that programme! I sit crying my eyes out for an hour afterwards. It's so terrible. And I did this BEFORE I was pregnant too.

So I don't think it's depression..... just a morbid curiousity to watch it. Then we regret it coz we get so upset!

bea · 04/02/2004 15:32

Oh Quackers... don't feel so bad! and you are most definitely normal!!! i cry at the faintest hint of any tragedy/drama involving babes! nspcc/oxfam ads are blub fests... ER tragedies/even those that end happily have me blubbing! ... so do as lazyeye suggests and have a good splurge etc... (i love watching The Good Life when feeling miserable!!!!)... but even a good old blub cn help make you feel better too!!! so don;t be so hard on yourself!!!

bea · 04/02/2004 15:34

... and M2T ditto with my dh as well... he knows what the outcome will be if i watch those progs and tells me off for even watching snippets of them!

morocco · 04/02/2004 15:35

don't know if you're a fan of miriam stoppard or not ghosty, but she reckons it's all totally normal to cry a lot/feel depressed in the last trimester and absolutely not to read more into it than raging hormones(ie not pre-natal depression)

I'm morbidly drawn to any kind of sad story involving babies right now try as I might to stop myself so I'd have been just the same after watching that kind of programme - rent out as many comedies and crappy romances as you can is my only advice on that score

I'm really sorry to hear about your first baby though and that thinking about it is upsetting you so much. it can't be bad to cry about it and let those feelings out. lots of hugs

Original poster

Quackers · 04/02/2004 16:12

My first baby was ok, my DD - bless her. It was the first loss after her I had that just seems to come back and haunt me so much lately. I lost another just after that but as that was alot earlier I just don't think about it as much. I can't help feeling this baby is where the lost ones were and it's just strange. I know we all have crappy days, just can't help feeling this is playing on my mind more than it should. It's as if I haven't let out all the sadness quite properly, although I did enough crying!! Maybe tomorrow will be a little better. Don't get me wrong I am amazed I'm carrying a baby with a heartbeat and I can feel it wiggling, I feel very lucky. Just something stopping me letting go of my poor little one. Thanks for all your replies. xx

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NorfolkTurkey · 04/02/2004 19:18

Quackers - I watch those american programs too and always shed a (happy) tear when the baby is born successfully. However, I watched a sad story on Friday and it was almost a carbon copy of how I lost my first. I had to turn over before it finished as I was so upset. What I'm trying to say that I think this is completely normal and nothing to worry about.

I think about my lost babies often and what may have been and no matter how much I have moved on, my babies will always be a part of me and regardless of what happens with my current pregnancy, I will always regard it as my third child

zebra · 04/02/2004 19:24

I'd cry, too, Quackers, if I had those kinds of memories.

hewlettsdaughter · 04/02/2004 19:43

Quackers, I'm sure it must be natural to think about the babies you lost, as you go through this pregnancy. It's got to be good to cry, hasn't it? I am definitely crying more while pregnant - at stuff like Holby City!

Original poster

Quackers · 04/02/2004 19:48

HD I cry at that too. But it's not as bad as seeing it happen for real is it like on that special delivery programme.
I was just watching Perfect Holiday and there was a 4 and 6 yr old who had lost their mummy and they went on holiday with their dad, it was inspiring!!
Norfolk, thanks for your thoughtsxx

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kbaby · 04/02/2004 19:59

I'm sorry your feeling so down at the moment. Hopefully tomorrow will be a bit brighter. Your bound to think back to the babies you have lost. Its only natural. But also try to think about the wonderful new baby your going to have.
I watched special delivery yesterday morning and there was a girl who went into premature labour at 25 weeks. The baby was only 1lb 8 ozs and it survived the birth but had to have a heart operation and bleeding on the brain. That set me off as it was too soon after having the contractions at 23 weeks. I kept thinking that could be me and I want a perfect baby not one that has to spend time in hospital. I felt down all day yesterday. I feel better today though and I havent watched any more of the programmes. You'll feel better tomorrow. Promise

tomkitty · 05/02/2004 14:00

Hi ((Quackers)), I am sorry you have been feeling blue. I am not surprised that your past loss is coming to mind now that you are expecting again. It's good to be blue a little bit sometimes. I am sure that your new baby will give you plenty of good things to think about too which will more than balance out the sadness.

kbaby · 05/02/2004 14:33

Quackers,
Hope your feeling better today.
Take Care

CountessDracula · 05/02/2004 14:36

Oh quackers, I was like this when pg, I used to cry at everything, most especially anything to do with babies. And it is not at all surprising that you have a cry every so often for your lost baby. Big hugs and hope the hormones improve ((()))

Original poster

Quackers · 05/02/2004 15:25

Thanks for all your knid thoughts!! I am MUCH better today and haven't cried at all!! Dam hormones!!!!
Much appreciated that you all thought of mexxxxxxx I will hopefully move on from the sad things and positives will make it less prominant. DH was wonderful last night. I gave him such a hard time but he put down his tea and came and sat with me and let me cry and hug. That was such a help.

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bunny2 · 05/02/2004 20:37

Quacks, I didnt see this message yesterday but I am sorry you felt rotten. Those pregnancy hormones are definately at work so you are bound to be emotional some days, just be kind to yourself and take it as it comes. Isnt it around this stage that you had the scan (I know the baby had died much earlier) during your second pregnancy? Perhaps it is stirring some memories up as you approach week 15 of this pregnancy. Hopefully you may feel a bit better once this landmark has passed.

Chocolate is very good for elevating ones mood, try it! bunnyx

Original poster

Quackers · 06/02/2004 09:10

Bless you Bunny, that's really nice of you to come and 'see me'! Yes maybe it was that. I was 15 weeks on Tuesday and that was the day I had my scan and found poor lamb was gone. I've been fine since and even DH said he was thinking about it that day quite alot. I've been rewarded last night with some reassuring kicks, so that has made me feel more positive! Great news about Eyelash BTW!!!! I'm really pleased for her!

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