Planning birth in a different city

[wickedwitchNE]

Basically just that - would it be completely daft of me to plan to go home to give birth? I mean my home city, still in a hospital. It is a 4 hour drive away, DP would come with me, we would stay with my parents for a couple of weeks.
Logistically it would be a nightmare for my family to visit me, and I come from a very close knit family so will want them around - plus DM is birth partner. My parents can have one week off but the worry is that they book that, and a hotel as our house is too small, and then baby is late. Other family include siblings, cousin and a grandfather who is unlikely to ever be well enough to travel again.
I know you can't really 'plan' much about labour by the way, and can accept I may be overlooking some really obvious flaw with the plan. Hence posting on this board! Somebody give me some experienced/objective perspective please?

Why cant you give birth in your current place of residence then travel with your DP and baby to stay with your parents immediately after for as long as you need to? Newborns tend to sleep a lot so if you drive there, break up the journey as need be for feeds and breaks, then it sounds like it would be alot easier.

If you're giving birth in a hospital 4 hours away, you'll need to factor in having to attend antenatal appointments 4 hours away too - as well as having to travel there when in labour (which is not possible to predict in advance when it will start or how long it will take - I will say that labouring in a car is not fun).

I was hoping to still attend antenatal appointments here, up until the 38 week check, then dash down. My DM's argument is that if I happened to go into early labour while visiting, the hospital would obviously not turn me away so why not organise it this way? As long as I have my notes.
Reading it back it just seems like I am giving in way too much for my family when really I (and they) should do what is easiest for me and baby. Best option might just end up being what you suggested, and not relying on having my DM as a birth partner. I think we're all struggling a bit with me raising baby so far away from them and this seemed like an easy concession to make which would mean a lot. I never used to understand women who complained about not being able to predict their babies' arrivals until now!

When would you go to stay with them? If you are planning to go at 38 weeks then you go overdue you could be there a month - can DP take the time off work too? Or could he not be your birthing partner and then take you down to your parents afterwards when you have recovered a bit from the birth?
My cousin was born (many years ago) in the hospital near her maternal grandmother as the house aunt and uncle should have been living in was a building site. I don't think the hospital will mind but there do seem to be a few logistical issues for you to sort.
Have you been to look round the hospital by your parents?

Am not sure it would work that way - you get booked in with the PCT that will provide your antenatal care.

My sister did this for her second child (scheduled c section). She had some antenatal care in her home town but developed obstetric cholestasis so did have to travel a few times to see the consultant at the other hospital. Her hometown team were a bit unhelpful re: antenatal care when they knew she was giving birth elsewhere.

You can give birth wherever you want, so in principle it's do-able. I think, in reality, this might be quite a big thing to do, especially without a c sect scheduled and with baby no 1 (if it is). It's one thing to just spontaneously go into labour when you're visiting and dealing with the immediate needs of that situation compared with having to plan a birth elsewhere, liaise with different teams etc. I would be tempted to ask DM to just drop everything and come for the birth then travel back to your home town with you for a few weeks once you're discharged.

You could as a compromise stay where you are and revisit the idea when you actually reach 38 weeks?

Haven't seen either hospital yet but it shouldn't be a problem to look round - I know my way to and round the main section of 'home' hospital at least. I have my 16 week appointment coming up so can discuss it with my midwife. I will feel better prepared if I've had the chance to consider it properly, it's just difficult to imagine when I don't really know what to expect anyway. My usually sensible DM is obviously only seeing it as a good thing so she isn't much help!
Thanks for all the replies, definitely giving me a lot to think about besides 'it would be SO nice though'. It is interesting as I would imagine there must be some students out there who have had to split ante-natal care if they are studying in a different city and staying on throughout the year. I'm guessing that is quite a rare circumstance to be in though, haven't found any other threads/comments about it online.

It also might prove difficult in terms of postnatal care, if you are under a different midwife etc? Your midwife should be able to advise, but it might end up being a bit of a hassle and when you're heavily pregnant/got a tiny baby, I think you probably want to make your life as easy as possible!
Congrats by the way!

I worked in one city and DP and I effectively lived between our 2 houses until I was 4 months pregnant. These cities are close together so commuting for antenatal care was ok as it was where work is and I started consultant led care at the first place.
I have just (at 30ish weeks) transferred all my care to whether we now live, in one house hurrah! It has been ok but it has been a rush and a faff to redo all booking and arrange antenatal classes where I live and will be birthing. It has also been harder to meet other expectant mums where I am now living although NCT was good for that. However I couldn't access antenatal care/services here until I registered with GP and midwives etc and I wouldn't recommend it.
We just got pregnant far quicker than planned and I couldn't get rid of my house! I would much preferred to have all my care in one place, particularly as seeing my midwife meant a 40 minute drive for most of pregnancy.
can your DM really not take more time off? or can you have DP as birth partner? (tbh I can't imagine having my DM rather than DP but each to their own!)

I'm having all my antenatal care in Germany and plan to go home 4-6 weeks before the birth so i get how stressful it is organising where your going to give birth. I want both my mum and partner to be at the birth and so we have also opted to go to my home town (but will probably be at my Partners home for a few weeks first). My other half also has to travel to Germany for each scan, so its not been stress free so far. I have no idea if the NHS is as good as the German health care i've received already, but i hope so because they have been fantastic so far.
I feel your pain wanting both mum and partner with you! I know either will be gutted to miss out so its trying to fit everything around everyone. Good luck with keeping everyone happy :)

I moved house to a different town altogether at 10 days overdue. Switched midwife on the Thursday, she came to my mums house, she went through all my notes and booked me in for my induction on the Sunday. I then went into labour on Friday night. The first night in our new house. I thought I was going to have to travel back to glos to be induced on the Monday. (At 2 weeks overdue) but I rang my new hospital and told them my situation and all was sorted.