Maternity leave, to start later or not?

[2Labradors]

I've started to think about my ML and I'm actually stressing out about when to start it.

Baby is due 28/11/13, this is baby #3 and I work Mon-Fri in an office based job.

One of my concerns (which might sound totally selfish when I read this back) is that if I start ML too early then I will be due to return bang on Christmas week 2014.

I have around 9 days A/L that I can use before starting ML which means that, if I arranged the dates correctly, I could leave at 37 weeks and not return until 1st working day of 2015 (as I will have full years A/L to tag on end of maternity) and then not start back at work over Christmas.

But, would 37 weeks pregnant be too much to work up until? I only worked a few days per week during both previous pregnancies so I can't really compare to then.

We do have a week booked in a caravan in the lakes during Oct half term, so I would be off that week and then only have to return to work for a week and a half. The holiday was booked before I was pregnant.

The reasons I don't want to be back bang on Christmas isn't just because I want to be at home, many things in my job will have changed in the 12 months I'm away and the 2 weeks over Christmas is when the place is like a ghost town. There will be hardly anyone there for me to go to for help, plus I remember how emotional I felt returning to work, add that to being in a deserted office away from my children and I can feel the tears already.

My manager is currently on long term sick leave so I have no one to discuss this with either. I've used directgov website for ML advice and know I have to put it in writing so wanted to get it all straight in my head.

What do you think? Am I putting too much pressure on myself going up until 37 weeks? Both my previous pregnancies went overdue so I could still have 4 weeks at home before baby's born i suppose, plenty of time for rest and sorting out?

I would plan to work to 37 weeks and see how you go. If you can't make it that far your midwife/GP will sign you off, triggering ML.

Have you looked at parental leave? You are entitled to 13 weeks unpaid leave for each child under the age of 5. Parental leave can only be taken in full week blocks, max of 4 weeks per child per year. Your employer can't refuse a parental leave request but can ask you to take it at another time within 6 months if business reason to require you to be at work.

So you could start ML earlier but request 4 weeks (or more, if you have more than one under 5 incl baby) parental leave for straight after ML. Given that you've said December is a ghost town at work, I think they'd struggle to say it was imperative that you be in the office then, so they should accept parental leave request.

Direct.gov.uk has lots of info on parental leave :)

I'm sorry to write about something quite trivial but it has had me worrying and waking up in the night, counting days on my fingers!

I think pregnancy is sending me slightly loopy, I know it's not a big problem but it just seems huge to me right now. I need a slap I think!

Thanks happy, I posted again at the same time as you.

I think I will plan it all but if it becomes a struggle, or other health reasons mean I have to leave earlier then I will accept that. I will look into the parental leave though, my other DC are older than 5 and I didn't realise that existed. Thanks for the advice.

I worked til just past 38 weeks with both pregnancies.
I did use some annual leave to take wednesday afternoons off for the last month or so - a afternoon of relaxing without anyone else around seemed to recharge me.

Its much easier to bring start dates earlier than to decide near the end you actually want to work longer!

I'm working up to 36.5 weeks. However ive just agreed with work that I'm going to work from home as much as possible from now on (30 weeks). I'm finding the travel increasingly difficult and tiring.

I'm an office job, but a sole position so v busy and stressful.

I think 37 weeks should be OK, so you can plan for that and always go early. I worked to 36 weeks (teaching) and felt like I couldn't have done another day.

It is a big deal to decide when you go off - you are quite right to put lots of thought into it!

I am having the same problem. I planned on working to 38 weeks as my job is not stressful and a very easy commute. However, at my 12 week scan we found our we're having twins and they are likely to arrive 37-38 weeks if not sooner. I now have no idea what to do. Work have been very understanding so far and there has been talk of me working from home as a possibility. I have been warned that by 30 weeks I might find it all far too much and just need to rest, but this means less time with babies after they are born and if they are very early and in the baby unit even less time with them at home after. It's such a hard decision to make. Also if my DP work will only give him the statutory paternity pay we can't afford for him to have the two weeks off. It's all hitting home a bit now and is very daunting. These are my first but DP has two boys from a previous relationship who live with us week on week off. I'm only 16+4 atm but it has gone so quickly since getting our BFP at 4 weeks.