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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

"Are you sure it's not twins?...."

26 replies

ItCameFromOuterSpace · 15/06/2013 10:19

.....because you're huuuuge!

I heard this all through my first pregnancy and at least 3 times a day with dc2. I have always measured spot on and am pretty tall so mainly look all bump.

I know people aren't being nasty but come on people, what response can I give? "It's its not twins" "I am huge aren't I...except I'm not I'm 7 months pregnant and this is generally what women who are 7 months pregnant look like".

It's wearing me down...okay rant over.

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pumpkinsweetie · 15/06/2013 10:28

I had this when pregnant with dd4, constantly had to explain that scans are very good these days and if there was a twin, i would surely know myself!
Drove me round the bend and i was asked everyday from about 7m pregnant, i wonder what some people expect a 7m pregnant woman to look like

TinkyPeet · 15/06/2013 10:34

I get It ALL the time. People are just stupid! It's like asking someone 'are you sure you've only got one head?'
Seriously if it was twins I would friggin say so!

SpecialAgentTattooedQueen · 15/06/2013 10:38

When I was pg with DTs, I was asked if I was having triplets!

We just can't win. Pregnant women are fair game for weight and every other fucking EXTREMELY rude and nosy questions/comments apparently.

JollyShortGiant · 15/06/2013 10:42

Even DM is commenting on my bump. I keep getting "I'm sure you're bigger than I was at that stage with your twin sisters".

My bump measures spot on too. I think I have the opposite problem though. I'm 5'1, so I'm just a bump with two legs and a head. 29+2 here.

Original poster

ItCameFromOuterSpace · 15/06/2013 11:38

Hahaha tinky are you sure you've got one head, so true! They say it as if they are in disbelief like you're somehow lying to them about how many babies you're carrying(!)

I get these comments usually from the same people near everyday as well, I feel like saying "yes of course I'm bigger! That's the point of being pregnant, you are supposed to gradually get bigger over 9 months otherwise there's a problem!"

I got compared to Kate Middleton the other day "we'll Kate is very neat and tiny you're huge!". It's like comparing someone's breats size, feet size, hair type, no two babies will be the same weight or height, so why do they think pregnant women should look identical.

I think people genuinely forget what pregnant bumps look like.

OP posts:

hartmel · 15/06/2013 12:16

I'm pregnant with my first one, and started to show at 7 weeks already so everyone who knew asked of I'm expecting twins. Had a scan at 11 weeks. And by my 20 week scan my mom asked me are you sure there is just one in there.. So I asked the sonographer. Before he started with any measurements he was nice enough to check that there is only one..

Now at 28 weeks my belly is normal size. With the grows I had from the beginning I thought I will be huge by now, but baby is hiding. So I'm normal size now (well based on DH I'm huge. But I don't think so)

bingeddybongo · 15/06/2013 16:30

I have been getting "are you sure it's not twins" left, right and centre for the last six weeks - apparently I'm ENORMOUS, haha. One of my colleagues (who took great pride in telling me that when she had been at my stage of pregnancy she had had a totally flat stomach), when I said no, then asked if my husband was a giant?!!

Original poster

ItCameFromOuterSpace · 15/06/2013 19:08

4 seperate people told me how huge I am today with 1 of then asking if I was sure I was carrying just the one and then proceeded to tell me I didnt look right.

Actually had a cry this afternoon about it.

OP posts:

Lj8893 · 15/06/2013 19:31

Yep I have had a colleague ask this and when I replied that its just the one in there, she said oh your going to have a big baby then, 10lbs at least!

Feel like saying "no, I've always been fat and had a rounded belly, so naturally my bump is going to look larger than a smaller person, and your just noticing it more now because you know I'm pregnant"

islingtongirl · 15/06/2013 19:32

Oh ItCameFromOuterSpace don't cry - people can be so clueless and unthinking - drives me mad. I'm sure you look fine and there is no wrong or right in pregnancy - we all look different, the only thing that matters is that you and baby are healthy (and happy!) - but I know it's hard when people can't help giving their (unwanted) opinions! Please don't take them to heart.

Iwish · 15/06/2013 19:36

Just say 'no its triplets' and walk off! I had many people say it to me when pregnant with DS and could never think of a comeback. I just bluntly said no and walked off I think towards the end x

RJM17 · 15/06/2013 19:55

My mum asked me this earlier cos my bump has gone from nothing to huge in the last week since I last saw her. I nearly screamed l

BeQuicksieorBeDead · 15/06/2013 20:04

I had two colleagues laughing at me across the playground at about 12 weeks, because I was 'so massively fat'. If I had been holding a knife, I can't say they would have got back to the staffroom unscathed.

On the same day, I was chatting to a bloke I know at the gym and he said I didn't look pregnant at all. And that was in a swimming costume!

Wish they would all just be quiet and talk to me about things other than being too fat, too thin, eating the wrong stuff and did I know this that and the other about being pregnant. But then I am very grumpy!

igirisu · 15/06/2013 20:47

People have Said this to me so much that I'm starting to think that maybe it is! Driving me insane! I have been getting it since 25 weeks that I look like I'm "about to drop" here I am 4 days overdue adding to the dent in my long suffering sofa

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 15/06/2013 20:53

I am seriously considering punching the next person who says "you're getting massive!" in the face. I am measuring slightly small for dates, am quite tall with a long torso and am normally a size 8-10. I am really, really not that massive. As you say, what do people expect a 7 months pregnant woman to look like?

Even if I were massive, it would still be really irritating. Grrrrrr.

Wallace · 15/06/2013 21:01

To my shame I said this to a friend the other day :(

It was the first warm day for ages and she had a tightish top on and you could really see her fairly large bump. The conversation went a bit like this:

Me: Wow, you've got a bump. How many weeks are you now?
Her: 11 :)
Me: 11?! Is it twins!?
Her: No, no. I've got the scan next week though.
Me: Mind you, you were pretty big with your other kids...

I stopped there before I caused any more offence She is amazingly still speaking to me.

BlackDahlia11 · 15/06/2013 21:14

I have ALWAYS told pregnant friends/colleagues how lovely they look when they have been getting more bumpy. I could never dream of telling someone how big they are getting, even if they are massive. Because that's normal for pregnant people!

Currently pregnant and been getting the twins thing all the way through. And the whole 'you are getting bigger by the day!' I don't take it badly luckily as I'm used to it and to be fair, they say much shitter things about my pregnancy than that. Don't get me started lol! I'd rather they said I was getting fat than told me how I won't cope with labour. Yes that's been said.

1944girl · 15/06/2013 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

ItCameFromOuterSpace · 15/06/2013 21:50

Thank you islington I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but this particular woman today was so nasty about it...screwing her face up and shaking her head when I told her I was measuring spot on for my dates and telling me I didn't look right.

Everyone did this to me when pg with dc1 and she was 8lbs. Hardly humongous.

It's the relentless analysis of my appearance every single day that is getting to me, I'm not worried about baby and everything is checking out okay.

OP posts:

mummybare · 15/06/2013 21:53

I had this loads when pregnant with DD. The correct response is: "Fuck off."

BlackDahlia11 · 15/06/2013 21:59

It sounds like the woman is somehow projecting onto you. Has she got children? Maybe she got a lot of stick about her weight in pregnancy and likes to do the same to others... Messed up but I have found that's what people do to me. The ones who are nasty to me about labour have had awful labours themselves. They would like nothing more than for me to have a very traumatic one. People are just dicks sometimes.

At least you did say to the woman that you are measuring correctly. Maybe ask her why she feels she needs to comment every bloody day about it!

Original poster

ItCameFromOuterSpace · 16/06/2013 14:31

blackdahlia the woman was in her 80s, she was a volunteer in the charity shop...she was extremely rude. I am always sensitive to the fact that others may not have children, maybe be ttc, have had problems, etc but by the time you're in your 80s if you have hang ups that are causing you to be nasty to to a heavily pregnant woman (I was just minding my own business) then I don't think that's very nice at all.

Most people I can excuse as being inconsiderate etc, but this woman was just plain mean "well you don't look right!" - no one should say that to anyone, pregnant or not.

It's still playing on my mind which is silly isn't it, but today I've had 2 people tell me I look incredibly big for 31 weeks. I'm measuring spot on! Not everyone who is a standard size 12 looks the same do they.

OP posts:

MERLYPUSS · 17/06/2013 09:49

Just tell them you need a huge fart.

I DID have twins and was a monsterous size but measured correctly. You should say 'You shoulda seen Merlypuss. She looked like a big fat whale'

IcingTheCake · 17/06/2013 09:56

Somebody actually tried starting a debate with me over whether I was having twins or not He said something along the lines of 'yeah but those ultrasounds aren't very accurate are they' when I said I'd had three scans, all showing just one baby!

pocopearl · 17/06/2013 15:49

I keep getting the twins comments driving me insane, as are the comments about my god your ready to drop dont do it here - im 35+5 i wish i was ready to drop. The comments that really irritate me are the ones where strangers feel they can turn round and ask me if im going to breast feed.

Now i am not a prude and i know its the right thing to do which i am going to but i dont exactly like discussing it. i know its normal and natural, but i dont even feel comfortable discussing with my MW. What is it about pregnancy that makes people think they have the right to know everything about you and your plans. Rant over.

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