So scared about 12 week scan - reassure me

[pizzaqueen]

I am so scared and nervous for my 12 week scan and at the same time can't wait to have it, I just keep going over in my head that there will be no heartbeat

I don't really have a reason to be feeling like this, as I've not had any bleeding or anything to cause concern I'm just so worried it will be bad news. Did/does anyone else feel like this? Was it good news or were your instincts right?

My scan isn't until the first week of July. I think in about 9 weeks just now. Feeling knackered and nauseous all the time but no sickness. Totally different fro. My pregnancy with DS when I felt fine and had no symptoms. How can I get through the next three weeks wait? Other than a private scan (there's nowhere near us and it would be a stretch to afford it) is there anything that might put my mind at rest? And how will I cope if we do get the worst news?

Would doing a pg test help or would the hormones he hanging about even if baby had died?

I felt exactly the same as you, I think because I didn't really have any symptoms. I was half worried that there'd be no heartbeat and half worried there would be nothing in there at all. So much so that we didn't tell anyone at all, even my mum. It was all absolutely fine and my 8-month old is happily slumbering away in the next room!

I can't offer any advice but hopefully reassurance that you're not the only one who feels this way!

Hi Pizza, I totally get where you are coming from. When pregnant with DC1 I had exactly the same worries! In fact I got to my 12 week scan, got into the room and burst into tears - it was a much wanted pregnancy but I had just suffered from the worst nausea that I found it very difficult to be able to think in the slightest positive about it and was convinced that there would be no heartbeat.

I am now pregnant with DC2 and have my 12 week scan tomorrow. The nausea has been just the same, but I have handled things very differently. Firstly, I ordered a bulk lot of preg teast (just the strip ones) - 100 for about eight quid on amazon ..... I've tested every day just for reassurance - it was cheap and I can, so I do! (Husband thinks I'm off my head but who cares!) It doesn't totally rule out the no heartbeat thing as the preg hormone hangs around for a bit, but for simple reassurance it works for me!

Secondly, I saw my doctor - he was well aware how bonkers I went with my last pregnancy and I told him that I felt I was heading in the same direction - the nausea was causing it as it's impossible to keep your chin up when you feel so sick all the time. He prescribed an anti-histamine which has really really helped. Not only does it ease (not totally stop) the nausea, but they help me sleep - and just a good night's sleep makes the world feel a better place - don't know about you, but I'd often wake several times in the night thinking I'm going to puke.

I still have some anxieties about tomorrow's scan tomorrow but I think that's totally normal - I don't feel like I'm about to lose it!

I hope that's helpful - please feel free to take or leave anything I've said - hope you feel better soon.

I was the exact same, I was so worried we would go and they'd say "nope, no baby there, you're not pregnant!". I had nothing to cause any concern but I have dealt really well and had no morning sickness or anything so when my breasts stopped being killer sore all of a sudden I was sure we must have been mistaken! I did 10 pregnancy tests!!! But on the day of my 12 week scan when I saw the screen and saw that baby was indeed in there I was so happy, it is such a magical moment, and honestly I think all the worrying just makes it more enjoyable because you are so relieved as well . The worrying is natural I think, after the scan I started to worry about the 16 week midwife appointment when they let you hear the heart beat, I began to be scared there wouldn't be one and that I'd loose the baby but hey yesterday my husband and I heard that heart beating and although I'm sure I'll find something else to worry about now, I just know that I must be doing something right because there is this amazing little life that I'm growing!

I think the worrying must just mean we're already good parents , that's what my husband told me anyway lol (he NEVER worries!!). At first I wasn't sure I was ready for a baby but when I realised how worried I was about it even at such a young stage and despite my uncertainty I realised how much I already love the little guy (or girl!).

Good luck with your scan xx

Thank you everyone, it's good to hear that other people felt the same way.

I think I've just heard so many sad stories of missed miscarriages, I think that might happen to me too

I'm just going to try to stay positive and keep busy until scan day. As soon as I hear that little heartbeat /wiggly scan picture I know that I will feel instant relief, it's just the wait it so hard.

Good luck for yours tomorrow onesliceortwo, come back and let me know how it goes.

pizzaqueen I really understand your concern.

Last year I found out at the12 week scan that our baby had passed away. We really were not ready for it and hadn't even considered the possibility, even though my symptoms had stopped completely and suddenly a week beforehand.

This time around I thought of nothing else and was shaking, crying and near hysterical by the time we got in to the hospital for the scan. It was fine - but I just couldnt picture it being fine! I nearly broke my partner's hand while the sonographer did her thing.

I dont know if my story helps or not - as you know, a small number of people do get bad news at the scan, but that isn't the most likely outcome by quite a long way. I had had some bleeding and my symptoms had stopped abruptly - yours sound strong and you haven't had any warning signs. It is horrible waiting for the scan date, maybe if you can get the money together and travel to a private place, an early scan would reassure you in the meantime.

I know it doesnt help when people tell you not to worry, but every time you are reminded by your body that you are pregnant - dizziness, nausea,needing the loo every two minutes, tiredness, emotional rollercoasters, sore boobs and anxiety - that is a message from your little one telling you they are growing and giving you grief! I am sixteen weeks now and my daily reminder that we are on track is people telling me I am massive!

Pizzaqueen, I understand this feeling so well, I had a mmc at 13 weeks in October so was terrified of going to 12 week scan with current bump but all was fine, I just asked sonographer to tell me as soon as she saw a heartbeat this time then check other stuff after.

I was in total shock when baby was there having the time of his life inside. Somersaults and everything! I was just convinced it'd be bad news again.

Tomorrow is my 20 week scan and I won't lie I'm still scared baby won't be well even though I've already seen it!

I think its just a worry some of us have especially if your pregnancy is so desperately wanted! But I'm sure all will be fine just try not to stress yourself, should take my own advice really lol all the best :-)

Here you are then Pizza! Back friom scan and all as it should be. Good heartbeat and little pickle wriggling around. Keep positive!

Hi pizza,

I just had my scan yesterday and like you was so nervous. Was convinced they'd tell me there was a problem. My gynaecologist gave me a scan two weeks ago and I thought she was going to tell me to stop being so silly and I'd made the pregnancy up.

As it was everything was fine and my husband is convinced I have something wrong with me for worrying so much, but it's only natural to be worried when it's something that 1. we want so much and 2. have almost no control over.

Please let us know how you get on when the day comes and try not to stress in the meantime.

I know exactly how you feel. My scan is on Tues, and I am absolutely bricking it!

I have had a fairly normal pregnancy so far, I think, have felt sick, dizzy, unbelievable tired and am seriously hating Chicken even though I loved it before! Apart from the smallest possible bit of brown discharge on a couple of occassions I have had no bleeding or heavy cramping etc.

But i just cant shake this feeling that I will get there and be told I have imagined it all!

I think its just a natural reaction when you are so excited to be a mum, but it hasnt quite sunk in yet! I'm sure everything is absolutely fine, and wish you luck for your scan! x

I think literally nearly every pregnant woman has felt like you do OP so its totally normal! I was pretty anxious as I had zero symptoms so we went for a private scan at 7 weeks. saw the wee blobs heart beating away and then worried until the next scan which is done here at 10 weeks. on that one we saw the arms waving etc and it was fab.

so dont panic if you arent having loads of symptoms as it seems really common not to. i'm not sure theres anything that will fully allay your fears apart from a scan so it might be worth looking into it? ours was £79 but i've heard of them for £40.

we had a sexing scan at 16 weeks and plan a 4D one at about 30 weeks. they are expensive but massively reassuring plus i feel that you only get the once chance at seeing these images!

i'm nearly 20 weeks and wondering how i'll cope inbetween now and the birth without seeing my baby so often!

Thanks everyone for your lovely replies. It is reassuring to know its normal to worry a bit. I'm just trying to make sure that doesn't turn into all encompassing anxiety. My DP is starting to get frustrated as he thinks I'm just being negative about the pregnancy but really I'm trying to protect myself if we do hear the worse news, if that makes sense.

We can't get an early scan as there really is no where near us that offers them, we're going to travel quite a distance for a sexing scan when the time comes but just cant justify at the moment with no real reason to be worried, I just have to keep busy and try to stop stressing for the next two weeks,

Congratulations to all of you who have had good news at scans this week.

Another worrier here! This is DC3 but I didn't know about mmc before so wasn't worried, then, like you I heard about a few people who had lost their babies and didn't know till the scan and it's freaked me out a bit. But like the others say, its completely normal to feel this way and the majority of us have healthy little babies growing in there so lets be positive! My scan's on monday...eek!

I just wanted to put a wee update message here. Almost as soon as I posted last night I noticed pink after going to the loo and have had period like cramps on and off.

I called EPAS and had an internal ultrasound this morning. She measured me at 6wks 4days, and said she could see a sac but no embryo. I've to go back a week on Tuesday to check if there's any change.

I'm just so confused at what this means and that I might be MC. I thought at 6wks 4days we should see a heartbeat? Also I expected to be around 9 weeks. My DP is telling me to keep positive and our dates must be wrong but it's so hard!

My last period started on 9th April and my positive test was on 15th May, I don't know my cycle length or when I ovulated though.

I'm sorry you're having difficulties . When I had my 12 week scan I thought I was 12+4 but they measured me as 11+5...I thought my dates were pretty accurate to be honest but they go by measurements taken so don't worry too much about being put back a bit, they know best and I'm sure most people have that happen.

As for heartbeat I got to hear mine at 16 week and even then the midwife didn't want to do it because they can't always pick it up so early and she didn't want to worry me but I was already worried and needed to hear it!

I know it's hard not to worry but at 6 weeks it's not uncommon to not be able to spot the little bean, it is sooo small after all. That's why usually the first scan is at 12 weeks.

And usually a little bit of spotting at 6-7 weeks is nothing to worry about according to all the books I have. So long as it wasn't a heavy bleed.

I know it's hard but try not to worry as the stress itself can cause problems. If there's something that will help put your mind at ease do it, I was so worried I did a home test like twice a week until the scan just to check I was still pregnant. My husband thought I was being silly but it's us that have to carry the baby after all so your comfort is top priority.

Good luck, keep us updated x

According to about.com, if your LMP was 9th April, you could have got a positive on 7th May, so do you think you could be a week off due to a long cycle? Then the scan could be another week off and that would account for the difference. Wishing you all the best for your next scan. xx

My last cycle before I got pg was 40 days but that was my first full cycle since coming off implaton so I've no idea what is 'normal' for me. So it is completely possible that my dates are out and 6wk+4 is right. I just thought that by this stage an internal ultrasound should see a baby, not just sac? Combined with the cranking and spotting its just worrying but I just need to try to keep my mind off it until next Tuesday or I will go crazy!

Thank you for all your reassuring words and advice it really does help.

I felt like this OP. The closer the scan got the more panicked and fearful I became. On the morning of the scan I felt ill with nerves. I didn't even consider that everything would be ok. I could picture the sonographer so clearly shaking her head and telling me there was no heartbeat. I am a worrier!
Of course, all was fine. Ds is now 3. You will be fine, too. X

So sorry op, I just read your update. I hope.everything works out for you. Please update us, fingers crossed for you - it is hell waiting for the next scan, I know. X

Had my scan on Friday and felt exactly the same, almost convinced myself there would be no heart beat. From what I've heard almost everyone feels this way, and for most people the fear turns out to be totally unfounded.

I had very few symptoms and it all felt too good to be true, but there was a little heart beat and my fears weren't instinct just normal feelings that seem to be pretty universal. It helped me when people said that there was far more chance of having a healthy pregnancy than not. Could you discuss your fears with your midwife? I don't think the pregnancy test would work sorry.

Sorry I just read your update, really sorry you are going through this worry. I don't have experience of this but I'm sure there are people on here who will tell you they had a similar experience and a positive outcome- I hope that this will be the case for you too. Sending hugs.

When I had a scan at 7 weeks the sonographer said that sometimes v little is visible and the heartbeat can't always be picked up. Hope that helps a little as it might still just be a little early. Fingers xd for you everything is ok

pizza bleeding at this stage is so common, it really is. Some women have a small bleed regularly all the way through, as your hormone levels go up and down. Some people have implantation bleeding at about six weeks which ties in with the date your sonographer gave.

I am 17 weeks now and have had a small brown bleed every four ish weeks... My midwife has advised me to have the day off each time, more to stop the anxiety of knicker checking at work than anything else! Take it easy if you can, drink loads of tasty drinks and be kind to yourself. There are loads of positive endings to stories like yours... We have all got everything crossed for you.

OP- I'm now 16 1/2 weeks but still anxious, though it does calm down. Before 12 weeks is so hard, as there aren?t really any signs i.e. heartbeat that I can now listen to with at home Doppler- so i just did a preg test every week until the 12 weeks scam to reassure me. The positive line became darker and almost instant week on week, which was really lovely to see, so recommend this!

I always used to look at pregers women and their lovely bumps and assume they were glowing and loving being pregnant and just alkign around feeling relaxed but ecstatic, but the more women I speak to I realise anxiety is common.

I find this helps: forget the scare stories, and look around you. Everywhere 10000s of people walking around: and these were all pregnancies that turned out ok!! So odds are on our side, try and relax and enjoy, hard though I know it is! I had a surprise 10 week scan when id been waiting 4 hours for an appointment that ran so late I think the doc just took pity on me and offered me a quick scan! I was very emotional, it suddenly all feels ?real? and I got into my car and was in floods of (happy!) tears?it?ll be worth the wait you?ll see.