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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Is it normal to feel so irritable?

16 replies

ABitLesMis · 13/06/2013 08:05

36+3 today with DS2 and literally feel like I could scream and lose the plot over the smallest things.

My relationship with DP has seriously hit the rocks and I'm not sure it will get much
better once the baby is born.
He is completely absorbed
with work and ignoring the
fact that I am struggling
despite me talking to him
about it. It feels like he has
no respect for me anymore
and we are certainly not
working as a team to keep
this family running smoothly.

Is this just a normal way to feel at this stage? I can't remember being this bad with my first DS!

OP posts:

FobblyWoof · 13/06/2013 08:16

I was definitelyb ready to explode at any moment!

I was going to suggest that maybe. It just doesn't feel real to DH yet (not that that's a reason for being unsupportive) but then this isn't your first, he should know the drill by now!

cupcake78 · 13/06/2013 08:17

Yes, especially towards the end!

cupcake78 · 13/06/2013 08:24

My dh burrows himself in his work when things at home get tough or there is change on the horizon. He's been trying to get ready for his 2 weeks paternity leave apparently. I'm 38+ weeks and he's just beginning to come round to reality.

BeanoNoir · 13/06/2013 08:29

I think it must be harder for second and subsequent pregnancies because you don't get that lovely bit when you start maternity leave but haven't given birth yet so you just get to focus on yourself. Because you have to give your all to dc1 still, it feels as if dh/dp should be helping by being the one to focus on you (it does to me anyway). Unfortunately they still have their own stresses so it doesn't always work like that = major irritability.

I'm only 32+1 and dreading the next few weeks tbh.

Original poster

ABitLesMis · 13/06/2013 08:30

He has two children from previous marriage as well so should definitely know the drill as this number 4 for him!

He did become very unsupportive and almost uncaring last time too......maybe I just shouldn't be surprised what a selfish wanker he's being.

I know that for him the lack of sex is an issue but seriously, I have a 20 month old to look after as well as the usual aches and pains of pregnancy. Also, I am actually feeling completely unattracted to him now, he can't even be bothered to brush his teeth before bed so why he thinks I'd be up for it is
beyond me!

OP posts:

BeanoNoir · 13/06/2013 08:32

Not to minimise how frustrating and irritating late pregnancy can also be with a first child though!

We just need to keep our eyes on the prize and the next set of challenges

Is there a way you could find dh at a time when he won't be stressed and will be open to listening to your worries. Make it about your worries about coping rather than what he is or isn't doing and is there a chance you might get a nice sympathetic ear rather than defensiveness?

Or pour your heart out to us here and we'll listen

Yettish · 13/06/2013 08:32

So the crux of the matter is that he's hassling you for sex?

This isn't about what's 'normal' in pregnancy. This is about your partner being a twat.

I love the 'reveal' in threads like these.

HadALittleFaithBaby · 13/06/2013 08:36

When I was at your stage certainly rang true! However you need to sit your OH down and tell him you need his support! Have a strop if necessary (you can get away with it being pregnant!).
Have you tried writing it down?

BeanoNoir · 13/06/2013 08:38

God yeah I'd love to feel all sexy and want it all the time but it's just not happening at the moment. Think it's just clever of our bodies to be making that way down the list of priorities at the moment so we can keep our energy for toddlers and growing babies.

I spoke to dh because it was on my mind, saying I was sad and missed it too but my body was just not into it at the moment. I also talked about my fears about my body being so in demand all the time once the baby comes - breastfeeding is draining enough plus a toddler wanting cuddles and carries etc - that I was worried about not feeling in the mood for a while afterwards too. Sometimes it's a relief just to have some personal body space in the evenings!

Dh was great and said he understood and wouldn't want me to do it just to keep him happy. In the grand scheme of things it is such a short amount of time really. I felt much better though having talked to him and sort of pre-warned him, instead of worrying about it later on.

HadALittleFaithBaby · 13/06/2013 08:38

Oh that is a different matter. Seriously? He's in a mard because he's not getting sex?! The answer to the question is it normal to feel irritable is yes. However this isn't about pregnancy irritability, this is about your H being a knob. Tell him to suck it up!

BeanoNoir · 13/06/2013 08:40

But yeah if you're feeling pressured that's shit - he should understand what you're going through to provide a family for both of you and be sympathetic to what a great change and upheaval it is to your body.

BeanoNoir · 13/06/2013 08:45

I think they're lucky having to only put up with a lack of sex,

We have to put up with a lack of sex, a lack of control over our body size, a lack of sleep, a lack of alcohol, a lack of various foods we're not allowed, a lack of energy, a lack of a sensible amount of toilet trips each day, a lack of as much control over our feelings and emotions as we are used to, a lack of knowing when the baby's going to come and how complicated or otherwise the birth's going to be.

He can just solve his problem by having a wank.

NotSoNervous · 13/06/2013 08:45

I was like this. I was booked in for an ELCS in a few days time and rushing to get everything ready and worrying at the same time and my DP got some stick bless him I thought he was being a completely pita but looking back I was just a hormonal mess

NotSoNervous · 13/06/2013 08:46

Not suggesting your the same OP! Just re-read my post, just giving my expierence.

Hope it all works out well for you

Original poster

ABitLesMis · 13/06/2013 08:52

Thanks for the replies, it's just nice to know its all normal! Think I just need a good old moan really.

I wouldn't say that DP is hassling me for sex, it's just that it is what really makes him (and me sometimes) feel close to each other so lack of sex equates to us drifting apart emotionally.

I'm going away for a couple of days to my Mums with DS while DP gets on with decorating so hopefully things will improve with a bit of space (and a nice new bedroom to return to)

OP posts:

Original poster

ABitLesMis · 13/06/2013 09:17

NotSoNervous I think a lot of it is down to me being over sensitive and hormonal.....he's still being a knob though

OP posts:

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