Judgement on your Pregnancy?

[Kelly1814]

Hello all

A client of mine just had a baby....around 9 months after she got married. Lots of pointed comments in office along lines of..."well they didn't waste any time did they" etc etc.

This is a little uncomfortable for me as I got pregnant two weeks after stopping contraception and whilst in Vegas getting married! So pretty much two days after getting hitched I would estimate.

Added to which I'm 24 weeks next week and no one in the office knows. I can just imagine the reactions when I go public.

I know I shouldn't care what others think, especially as we are delighted and feel blessed to have got pregnant so quickly, but it is on my mind.

Did any of you face judgement when you announced you were pregnant, and any tips on how to deal with it?

Thanks in advance :)

thanks for the feedback all, much appreciated.

quertas - i live overseas (middle east) and the mix of cultures here (indian, philipino, sri lankan, expat arab) are all very geared towards the direct and insenstive approach. i have had: you look awful today/why do you look so tired/oh you are too thin/oh you have gained weight etc etc it is a very direct feedback kind of place and yes a little like the 60's sometimes!

and yes it is a long time to keep it secret - 24 weeks next week - i have to tell them 90 days before delivery. virtually zero maternity rights here.

i am lucky i have hardly any bump as yet.

i will take all of your very useful thoughts and front it out when i break the news!

I got married in feb this year and found out I was pregnant with dc2 3 weeks befire the wedding, nobody except immediate family knew on our wedding day but the amount of people that asked me if the baby was planned once we announced was unreal!

wouldn't dream of asking anyone that!!

People are amazing! Even before I was pregnant and know how insulting some comments are I still wouldn't have said the things some people do! The 'was it planned' remark is very rude, I've also had (from a midwife) 'oh your wedding/engagement rings look very shiny and new' then looking at hubby said 'did u give her them as u felt u had gotten her into trouble?!' The bloody cheek!

It didn't stop once I'd had my son either, at a very clicky playgroup near me I got a 'ooh u must've been about 16 when u had him!'

Bugger off u nosey sods! Lol

We had been trying for a while, and actually given up hope of ever conceiving when I got a bfp. Unfortunately we'd just gotten home from a trip where dp proposed. Cue lots of 'oh, so that explains the engagement' and my favourite 'so of course you'll be moving the wedding forward'....yes because its a fantastic idea to wate all that money when we have a baby on the way and would look AWFUL in all the photos. Im sure none of the comments were intentionally offensive but certainly took the sheen off the exciting first few weeks. Ah well

This time around very judge midwife made a point of mentioning my 'lack of control' when noticing a distinct lack of engagement/ wedding ring. Never mind that i was 20 weeks pregnant, had swollen sausage fingers/feet and couldn't even fit into shoes let alone jewellery. Her supervisor very quickly received a very strongly worded complaint, funnily enough the comments stopped soon after!