Not sure i can take the stress of this :(

[HDEE]

This is likely to be a bit jumbled, but just wanted to vent my spleen somewhere, and maybe get some advice.

Just over two weeks ago I found out I am pregnant. This is/was the biggest surprise ever as I have been on depo injection. The reason we suspected was for the last couple of months I have been bleeding, then just over two weeks ago had a large gush of blood and passed a massive blood clot, which was identical to my other pregnancies.

The GP tried to refer me to the early pregnancy unit, who refused to see me, saying it sounded like I had miscarried, to retest in a week and they'd see me for a scan if still positive. Not being prepared to wait a week, I paid for a private scan which showed that I was already 18 weeks.

Since then, the bleeding has really ramped up. I'm gushing watery blood most days, and there is thick red blood (like period blood) most times I go to the toilet. I'm regularly passing huge, palm-sized blood clots.

It's taking over my life already. It's all I think about. Am I safe to go to the shop in case I bleed? Am I one day going to start bleeding and not stop?

My massive concern is the baby being premature. My last baby was born at 27 weeks, and I had twins before that born at 23 weeks. I just cannot do NICU again, it terrifies me. Why can't I just have one normal pregnancy?

Scans never show any bleeding. The most they have ever seen are tiny areas of old blood, or old blood hanging around in the cervix, so we have no idea where it's coming from or what is causing it. It's just so much worse than my last two pregnancies, that I don't think I am even going to get to 24 weeks.

My husband really wants me to consider termination. He is scared that even if I make another 8 weeks, my health will be in peril due to the blood loss, and the baby will still be dangerously early. There is just no way that I am going to go full term is there?

Cervical scans are always normal, the placenta is at the top and out of the way, visual exams of the cervix show it to look normal.

When do the risks to my health, and the risks to the baby of being born early, become reason to consider ending it all? All I want is a big, fat, squashy, healthy baby. A baby I can take home and not worry about oxygen, or RSV, or germs, or cerebral palsy but I need trace facts that it just isn't meant to be, is it?

firstly congrats on being pg and have a hand to hold cos i am afraid i am not sure i have any useful advice but didn't want to read and run!

At 18 weeks it may be considered too late to terminate but i can see why your hubby is worried, he doesn't want to lose you.

I would insist on being referred to a specialist though, that amount of blood with no visable cause is not good, esp if this has happened in previous pgs. I would sit in the obstetrics waiting room and refuse to move until someone takes it seriously and does something/offers reassurance that all is well.

If its not intrusive (and sorry if it is) was the bleeding the reason you gave birth prem previously?

First of all, stop and breathe. I'm sorry you have so much worry to deal with. You would have every right to ask to be referred to an obstetrician to guide you as to what is happening with your pregnancy - and you should. I'm not sure you would be offered a termination at this stage, and a different way of looking at it is that the pregnancy has survived so far despite the bleeding. I'm sending you a (hug).

Fengorl1 - I've had a scan with a consultant. She scanned my cervix, and basically said she could see no cause. She will see me again in two weeks at 24 weeks. I just think they must be missing something for this to be happening again.

Babyhmummy01 - we have no definitive reason for my premature births, other than the history with the bleeding, followed by early labour. My labours aren't stopped, as they don't stop labour when there is active bleeding.

I think I will be ringing the midwives in the morning and asking to be seen again, just for reassurance that baby is still alive and my hb levels are staying high enough. They were 9.8 last week, but don't know if they'd agree to weekly hb tests given how much blood I am losing.

HDEE sounds to me like you are being severely fobbed off. I would ring your antenatal clinic and DEMAND to speak to or be seen by a consultant and then refuse to give up until you get some answers. I cannot believe that they are behaving in this way! Unexplained bleeding this heavy is never something that should be ignored.

Sending huge hugs and really hope you get some answers...how old are your other DC's - is bed rest an option in any way shape or form?

for you - like babyH says demand to be seen by a consultant - and don't take no for an answer - bunch of numptys they sound like!! How much stress for you?!

I should just point out (not that you may want this etc) that you can have a termination up to 24 weeks actually - and it follows exactly the same guidelines as any termination prior to this date. AFTER 24 weeks this is a different story - this is the current UK law. And if you are worried about all of this then a consultant can and should help you with the risks of continuing etc - it is ridiculous you are just left to wonder on you own and reach out of here - makes my blood boil for you hon.

Really hope it all goes ok for you - and if you feel unhappy get down to A&E and demand they sort you out.

also second seeing if you can do more resting etc while you get to the bottom of it. And I can fully appreciate your worries about the risks to baby and yourself - which honestly i think a decent consultant would be able to help you with better so that you can make a decision based on facts, as far as possible. I can fully appreciate your fear and concerns here.

xx