What would you put in a practical pregnancy book? (Lighthearted)

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Hello all,

I'm very happy to be pregnant and am 21 weeks. I've received lots of advice from family, friends, Mumsnet and books but there are some practical things that nobody tells you that would be helpful.

My most current ones would be...

At 20 weeks, your breasts will have grown and you won't be able to find, for love nor money, a bra that fits comfortably.

Your knickers will be starting to rub at the bottom of your little bump, making you aware that the bra trauma is about to be repeated for knickers.

That your 20 week scan is amazing, as is feeling and seeing little kicks and movements and you will be falling in love

That an advance apology to DP when you feel a mood coming on really takes the sting out of it when you eventually boil over and scream at them over something stupid!

Definitely the underwear thing, I thought pregnancy knickers were a con until I got big with DD, then they were bliss :)

If you need a good cry for no reason, just go for it, everyone will understand.

I'd love a book with all the little pregnancy things in, everyone tells you about soft cheese, no one mentions the pants!

You will have the most horrific flatulence.

Long and loud DH calls it!

Don't be surprised if you wake up with your face in a puddle of drool on your pillow every morning. My particular favourite 3rd trimester symptom!

Your face will change shape, not just through weight gain but also water retention.

Bump hugging clothes are much more flattering and likely to get you a seat on the bus

It will last for ages. Just when you think you've got used to the responsibility of carrying someone around all the time, and the companionship of the wriggling bump, and the lack of dignity (farting etc), it will be time for it all to end!

If you complain about anything people will say 'it will only get worse once the baby is born ...' Everyone assumes you already know that you'll enjoy being a mother. If this doesn't come naturally to you, find a way to remind yourself

There's always one family member who thinks they're pregnant, not you. ;-)

People will touch you and give you advice without invitation

if you can get one (or five) Baby on Board badges are great

Bump bands are the best invention ever, so you can keep wearing your normal trousers, just undone!

Sleep, abandon the housework, and accept all the help you're offered. No matter how independent you normally are, it gets harder to do it all yourself as pregnancy progresses (especially with the 2nd pregnancy).