Pregnancy blues and how to lift them

[Blue73]

Hello, I'm looking for some practical advice on how to cope with feeling low during pregnancy. Prior to pregnancy I coped with life's ups and down's fairly well and when it got a bit tough I would take St John's Wort. That option is not available and given my lack of sleep (peeing, legs going numb and uncomfortable, like many other pregnant women) I find that stuff I would normally shoulder is starting to weigh me down. My family have mental health problems so there's no one there for support and my partner is one of the causes of my troubles - oh for the gift of hindsight on that one. I've tried swimming but I cannot do that on a daily basis. If anyone has any suggestions be most grateful. Thank you

Any sort of exercise will help as it'll get your endorphins flowing - go out for a walk each day, maybe get a pregnancy yoga or Pilates DVD to do at home. Try to make sure you get out of the house every day, if you stay in for a few days it gets harder to motivate yourself to go out. I always feel better if I look decent so try to put a bit of make up on and ensure your hair is clean and brushed. I suffered from antenatal depression, and these were the things that helped me.

Blue73, sorry to hear you feel like this, pregnancy can be v stressful.

i am not allowed to exercise at all due to cervical stitch so my usual stressbusters of running, walking, swimming (sex!) etc are banned.

have you tried some meditation/relaxation time each day? this is massively helping me, especially when i fall thoguh the door after working a 12 hour day!

i would be interested to hear of any other suggestions.

Talk to your midwife. They have mental health midwives who can provide appropriate support and when I talked to (wept all over) mine they were amazing and have made a huge difference to how I have coped.
They can also check if you have any physical issues which are making you feel worse.
I'd also 2nd meditation/gentle exercise but if you are already feeling weighed down maybe what you need to do is get some support and a shoulder to lean on from the midwives so you do not have to manage this alone.

Hi, sorry to hear you are feeling low. I think exercise def helps (go for a lovely walk in the sun shine), make yourself feel good by looking good as suggested by post above, taking time to pamper yourself (get your nails painted, have a pregnancy massage or even pamper at home with face mask, candles and warm bubble bath), get stuck into a good book (when I have felt down in the past, this really helped me and I got addicted to Martina Cole books and it distracted my mind and I felt a lot better), also talking to someone as recommended above (tell the midwife how you are feeling). Hope this helps and hope you feel better soon
X

Thank you all so much, I am going to talk to my midwife. My main problem is trying to keep spirits up when my partner is OCD. Today the flat was a mess as he painted one of the bedroom walls yesterday. I had started cleaning the kitchen, just finished washing up and cleaning out fridge when I felt a little breathless so sat down before finishing other tasks. I then had him shouting at me for sitting down, which led to an argument in which he said I was fundamentally lazy. He is freelance and I work full time, I am not sleeping or getting much rest but get up every morning for a 45 minute commute to a very hectic job while he stays in bed and gets up when he feels like it. He kicked off because he does the shopping and most of the cooking, and he now tells me that he feels I do not do enough of the household chores, even though I do clean but to him if you are not dusting the tops of shampoo bottles then you are not cleaning. I cannot relax when I get home because if I do then I am lazy. I cook at weekends and at least once in the week so it is not like I am waited on hand and foot. He keeps moaning about the flat we live in, that I own and he pays nothing towards the mortgage. He does pay the bills but as he is freelance and has to wait for money to come in, I often have to subsidise him until a cheque comes in and he pays me back. He had just moved in with me when I fell pregnant and honestly, if I had known what it was like to live with him it would be over by now. I just have to keep going until baby is born and then I can deal with the situation a lot better. But cheers for the suggestions, definitely will try to swim more.

Sounds like you have a lot going on. Do you have a good friend you can talk to? One of my friends had antenatal depression and spoke only to me about it as i have had depression in the past so she knew i would understand and not judge. That could really help for you to talk some thigs through in real life.

With regards to your partner, i hate to say it but things may be worse when baby comes along and you are home all day. If you are breastfeedig some days it can feel like you are pinned down with a baby permanently attached, and to a partner seeing you sat in the same place you were 2 hours prior having not moved, they may think you are being lazy but in actual fact you are tired, exhausted, hormonal, sore, achy, recovering and dont dare move as baby has finally fallen asleep & you dont want to wake it. I mean this in a kind way, not wantin to make you feel worse. It often doesnt happen like this by the way, just using this as an example.

Is there any way you could have a night or two on your own? Either go away to a hotel or send your boyfriend off with the guys or somethig so you could get a decent nights sleep, or at least rest.

Your DP's behaviour sounds incredibly unsupportive and must be putting you under loads of stress. I am not surprised you are feeling low. Of course you are not being lazy, YOU ARE GROWING A BABY!

Really agree with what cravingcake says about once you have had your baby. I think you may be wise to deal with his behaviour before your baby comes if you possibly can. Is he receiving treatment for his OCD?

Congratulations btw, you sound v. Strong, I bet you'll be a brilliant mummy x

I'm so sorry that you're going through so much whilst you're pregnant Blue. Talking to your midwife sounds like a really good plan.

I don't know that I can give you any practical advice, but reading your post made me really want to write here, just to support you. Please don't let yourself be persuaded that you are being lazy. You sound quite the opposite and I'm exhausted just reading about all the things you do. You might find that as things progress with the pregnancy, you need to slow down a bit and put your feet up more often. As AndI says, you are growing and carrying a whole new human being and that is hard work in itself. Good luck my dear x

Cheers all, I've got a really supportive sister and she is helping loads. I have asked him to get help with the OCD, and I take the point about when baby is born. I'm going to have another attempt at getting him to the Drs. Thank you for all your good advice x

Glad you've got your sister as backup.

That's great you have your sister for support. The main thing is to keep talking to her, your midwife, gp (if necessary), and on here too. And do not feel guilty when you do take time out for yourself, think of it as resting time for your body so your little baby can grow.

I think you need to have a talk with your DP. His behaviour is not acceptable and if you don't tell him how you feel, he will just continue to behave like this.
You need some TLC and he needs a kick...!