Returning to hospital where i had mc for ante natal care is freaking me out...Im terrified, how do i deal with this?

[Shellywelly1973]

I had a mmc the end of February. To describe my reaction as devastated would be an under statement.

I recently found out I've got an underactive thyroid. A few days later i found out i was pregnant.

My GP said i would be seen by an endocrinologist asap & did the referal but i was going on holiday so we didn't actually discuss it.

A midwife called me today to arrange my booking in appointment. I was totally thrown- i havn't actually thought about where i would be having the baby as i don't really expect this pregnancy to be successful.

My GP has refered me to the hospital i attended with my last pregnancy which ended in a mmc. Im terrified at the thought of returning there. Its not my local hospital but my local hospital has a horrendous reputation.

I've never been over keen on hospitals or doctor's but Im literally filled with fear at the thought of returning there. How do i get over this? I know Im going to need to have even more then normal contact with the hospital i& its freaking me out...

Hi Shelly, I'm do sorry to hear about your experience. I had a mc last jan and when I fell pregnant 9 months later, I didn't want to go back to that hospital (I wasn't very happy with the way I was treated at the EPU and they were so insensitive). I have chose another hospital (a lot further away) to have the baby and attended all the MW appointments there. I felt a lot better not having to go back to the 1st hospital. Were you treated ok at the hosp when you has the mc, or is it just the thought of going back to that hospital? Are there any other hospitals you can go to even if you have to travel? You need to feel comfortable with the hospital you choose. Wishing you all the best X

Hi, i understand how you feel. I lost my first baby at 24 weeks and to say it was traumatic is an understatement at the least. I had no choice but to go back to the same hospital as it is a regional centre with specialists in my condition. Tbh i cried my eyes out every time i went for a bit but it did get easier. If you have to go back there, i would recommend contacting pals to see if you can get some support while waiting for your appointment, maybe a room to wait in in private and to let people know how difficult you are finding things so they dont leave you in the waiting room for too long. They were the 2 things that bothered me the most, i could cope going there but the waiting round meant i got more and more stressed and upset.
I also have an underactive thyroid (not the reason for my loss) and have a wonderful 15 month old and am due again in july.

Another who understands too sadly. I live in a very small place and there literally is nowhere else to go, the antenatal clinic MW is the same, the same room, the same sonographers, same room etc etc.

The only answer I have for you is that you cope with it quite simply because you have no other choice but to.

Wishing you a healthy and succesful pregnancy this time round x

Hi Shelly, congrats on your pregnancy.

I can also umderstand how you feel. From another perspective, I went to have my 12 wk scan on Friday at a different hospital than the one I had my MMC at in January, and still found it scary and distressing being in that setting/situation. What I mean is I think a certain amount of fear/anxiety in pregnancy after MC is normal, you might find it easier at a different hospital, you might not.
Rhubarb's tips about doing what you can to minimise the stressed-out-waiting situation are really good advice I think.

I hope that the anxiety eases off for you as you reach some milestones and get past where the MMC happened. That has helped for me. I think if you can get through the first appointment - which will be different from last time - you might start to realise on a subconscious level that history is not going to repeat itself. I hope that makes sense. Best of luck to you.